List of 3000 Parallel Universes

Jump around to explore the Multiverse.

  1. A universe where hamsters eat dogs by instinct, as an evolutionary measure to weed out those who don’t know that they’re herbivores.
  2. A universe where long-finger persons are obligated to develop very strong finger muscles, in case space invaders succeed in conquering Earth by exploiting the weaknesses inherent in biceps.
  3. A universe where long-lost fraternal twins who search for each other only ever find an unrelated doppelganger.
  4. A universe where the pitch of human speech fluctuates in cycles which last centuries, and sometimes this necessitates the universal adoption of sign language and blink-talk.
  5. A universe where electricity hasn’t been invented so computers are the size of cities, using the people themselves as bits, and every so often we get a letter saying we’re now a 1 or 0.
  6. A universe where society has not evolved past the Stone Age because everyone crosses their arms and does nothing when they aren’t carrying out basic functions.
  7. A universe where everyone has a marionette attached to their limbs which mimics their every move, to give little animals someone to talk to.
  8. A universe where everyone is connected by fish line to a giant rod in the sky in case there’s a natural disaster.
  9. A universe where storks without a sense of purpose try becoming baby-snatchers.
  10. A universe where humans are not sentient but their random wanderings around the world have replicated our own universe exactly.
  11. A universe where biological substances dissolve into disjointed cells unless they’re perpetually watered.
  12. A universe where artworks which lack mathematical double-meanings are void of all worth.
  13. A universe where people flush little houses down the toilet for the homunculi to live in.
  14. A universe where people wear papier-mâché heads five times the size of their real head to show off that they use more than 10% of their brains.
  15. A universe where timid aliens always falter when they’re about to make contact, causing our machines which decode their contact-making symphonies to fundamentally mistranslate their language.
  16. A universe where someone made Pluto a planet again by spilling a lot of water on the surface.
  17. A universe where the pyramids were used to store grain, and the pharaohs were entombed by eating as much grain as they could before they died.
  18. A universe where a punch line is the line where people punch.
  19. A universe where discarded potato peels are given life in the garbage can by the apple cores, they tuck in together for the long decomposition, and smile as it begins.
  20. A universe where no galaxy, star, or planet corresponds to any that exists in our universe, but it is nevertheless a parallel universe to our own.
  21. A universe where the letter K is not evil.
  22. A universe where temperature scales are based upon the results received when ovens are placed inside freezers.
  23. A universe where networks of clock towers dot the world, because civilization likes its clock towers so much that it’s illegal to invent miniaturization.
  24. A universe which automatically generates a new multihued environment every day.
  25. A universe where you’re a big celebrity who drinks champagne every night and eats caviar every morning, even though those things are considered disgusting in this universe, which is one of the wacky variations of the one where you’re legitimately a celebrity.
  26. A universe where randomly spaced strings of beads are used as a starting point from which to make new discoveries.
  27. A universe where humans are cloned to get new faces to display on the wall.
  28. A universe where the world is painted in many different colors and trees are tortured into funny shapes, to make the world more whimsical.
  29. A universe where critics are refuted by sending them to a parallel universe where they are wrong.
  30. A universe where flat surfaces are created by erecting tiny needles side to side and layering them until the surface is no longer prickly.
  31. A universe where no war has been fought for the past hundred years because all the muscles in every soldiers’ body have refused to pull the trigger.
  32. A universe where all meteors halt upon approaching the Earth, and they have accumulated to form a smiley face.
  33. A universe where the movements of people correspond exactly to the directives given by the people of another universe, by complete coincidence.
  34. A universe where drinking water is filtered by dripping it through a series of fire escapes, and people whose homes don’t have fire escapes need to buy expensive devices which the government won’t reimburse.
  35. A universe where the sentient life forms invent the creative ideas that people have in other universes.
  36. A universe where the following sequence of letters is an anagram of a meaningful phrase: “fdkgjbsf sdfguhsd sdfs dndc aac.”
  37. A universe where newborn creatures flap around to look for the entity they would like to be their mother.
  38. A universe where people wear socks over their shoes for some reason they won’t divulge.
  39. A universe where you were never born and your friends will feel an overwhelming sense of loss throughout their lives.
  40. A universe where jumpy spiky stick bugs block mountain goats from grazing on the lowlands.
  41. A universe where mountain communities use former lava flows as streets, and eruptions are looked forward to as an opportunity to repair potholes.
  42. A universe where Mars and Venus host sentient species, and they are very concerned by Earth’s recent advances in space flight.
  43. A universe where people run past sequential statues to watch movies.
  44. A universe where people talk opposite talk but we do not talk opposite talk.
  45. A universe where every single object in our universe has been perfectly replicated as a work of art.
  46. A universe where a giant stone ball started rolling down the hills of Paris three hundred years ago and has never stopped, so the Parisians need to keep building an elaborate track to keep it from hitting anyone.
  47. A universe where metal is extremely expensive so spoons are double ended.
  48. A universe where everyone lives on a space station except for the koalas who stole our space suits, and we can never get back to Earth.
  49. A universe where people find each other by writing short quotes from their thoughts on bits of paper and leaving them around.
  50. A universe where the Great Men of history spent their lives whistling through their fingers, and the men who had to take their place just spilled a lot of ink as they were very nervous.
  51. A universe where the earliest forms of life just evolved to become really big rather than more complex.
  52. A universe where houses have anchors as a safety precaution against the invisible monsters who may be trying to hurt us.
  53. A universe where the Earth is totally riddled with a network of tunnels going deep into the centre of the Earth, and different species live in the many different layers.
  54. A universe where school children are recruited to be perfect-square inspection officers, and parents who work at disreputable square factories fear for their lives.
  55. A universe of infinite trial courts which preemptively judge every possible crime in every possible universe, but which cannot do anything about it because they divert no funds to developing portals to other universes.
  56. A universe where Sinbad played the genie in Aladdin, but thought he was doing another movie.
  57. A universe where fluids emit a high-pitched shriek until you drink them, and all buildings are soundproof.
  58. A universe where euphemisms drift the other way around and end up as simple grunts.
  59. A universe where ancient civilizations just liked drawing rows of little pictures.
  60. A universe where people try to make foreigners understand them by repeating random sounds an infinite amount of times, and also by stopping time.
  61. A universe where the rise of religious fundamentalism has been instigated by a cabal of 3D poster manufacturers.
  62. A universe where body hair acts as a tentacle, but only for dirt.
  63. A universe where the Berenstain Bears are spelled “the Catcat Cats,” but pronounced “the Barenstain Bears.”
  64. A universe where clay pots are often mistaken for big lumps of mud by creatures with a poor sense of touch.
  65. A universe where reality shows are used to test the merits of different ethical philosophies.
  66. A universe where all planets are shaped like giant writhing tarantulas and it’s great for long distance travel.
  67. A universe where the government controls the pitch of audio tracks instead of censoring speech.
  68. A universe where popular music is bad today because listeners can no longer fiddle with the knobs on their boom boxes.
  69. A universe where false memories derive from parallel universes which do not exist.
  70. A universe where air travel never caught on and ocean liners evolved to be full of nothing but bunk beds and vending machines.
  71. A universe which is upside down, but we’re right-side up, which means we’re actually upside down.
  72. A universe where jelly beans are planted in the hopes that the mix of sugar and trace amounts of fruit will result in something interesting.
  73. A universe where no extinction event has ever occurred, as the layers of the atmosphere have simply rearranged themselves according to element whenever something new happened.
  74. A universe where curved tubes are bent flat in case a very small person will see it and think that it’s a slide for her legs.
  75. A universe where people have not evolved spoon-tipped fingers.
  76. A universe where dandruff barks but does not ruff.
  77. A universe which refers to itself as ‘Earth 2,’ having heard many wonderful stories about ‘Earth 1’ (Earth 1 appears elsewhere on this list, but is not so labeled).
  78. A universe where the leaves of near-extinct trees are used as currency, to encourage species recovery.
  79. A universe where music students are disillusioned to discover that the orchestra life is nothing like it seems in The Band Concert.
  80. A universe where genuine ketchup is made with the blood of innocents.
  81. A universe where quips are a vital tool for maintaining joy in the populace.
  82. A universe where children release their paper snowflakes to make the grown-ups think it’s a snow day, but it only works with the nearsighted.
  83. A universe where worms burrow holes deep into the Earth in the hopes that a grain of golden dust will one day fall through, and prospectors mostly hunt for worms.
  84. A universe where rock candy is not the favorite food of geologists; they all feel an overwhelming sense of loss over being unable to eat real rocks, and rock candy just rubs salt into the wound.
  85. A universe where the environmental movement succeeded in banning Jello-fish salads which derive from gelatin that fishermen had thrown overboard.
  86. A universe where your first relationship lasted for your entire lifetime, though you faced the same difficulties as you did in our own universe; they just kept on escalating without anyone doing anything about it.
  87. A universe where it is illegal to use the Droste effect in art, due to this universe’s uncertainty regarding the mechanics of inter-dimensional travel and its irrational fear of monster-clone armies.
  88. A universe where Harry Potter is real but Harry is an amorphous blob of goo.
  89. A universe where the people of big cities are very shy and hide their homes beneath the viewing lenses of monster telescopes.
  90. A universe where Stone Age people have suddenly somehow switched places with the people of the modern world, and have adjusted to civilization by poking everything with a pencil.
  91. A universe where home automation became successful in the 1980s because it allowed people to hook up to a video feed of their local library.
  92. A universe where cities started erecting randomly shaped sculptures to attract tourists, but then everyone did it.
  93. A universe where silk is sewn into snake skins to get double the luxury.
  94. A universe where shortcuts which do not follow the path of laser beams are vaporized to make them follow laser beams.
  95. A universe where the term ‘landslide victory’ is discouraged due to the popularity of landslide racing.
  96. A universe where nobody ever mistakes a book doing the literary shimmy for someone shuffling a deck of cards.
  97. A universe where all people try to walk on their hands but are unable to, since nobody here works out.
  98. A universe where silkworms are an invasive species in North America but nobody really minds.
  99. A universe where the sky is not blue but expressions regarding blue skies are identical.
  100. A universe where the popularity of Chia pets correlates with the popularity of curly-haired politicians who dye their hair green.
  101. A universe where buildings miraculously build themselves, and everyone must choose whether to risk living in an unsound building or buy one which is definitely sound.
  102. A universe where pen nibs invariably get stuck in the desk, so schools don’t need to buy supplies for their less fortunate students.
  103. A universe where hoodies are outlawed to prevent gang members from performing their secret handshake in the pocket.
  104. A universe where doors are just big hinges, and what we call doors are a natural product of the sea.
  105. A universe which has recreated a fictional version of our own universe in order to satirize their own society.
  106. A universe where balconies are counted as a room in apartment listings, but good landlords supply a tent.
  107. A universe where there is a flying teapot, a flying spaghetti monster, an invisible pink unicorn, various sky gods, earth gods, and assorted sea deities, all deriving from refutation labs funded by religious fundamentalists.
  108. A universe where mittens have finger extenders, as “glove” is a dirty word.
  109. A universe where nostalgic horses attach themselves to weights and drive around sometimes.
  110. A universe where students are assigned to their schools according to their test scores, those at the world’s top schools have to be graded by their handwriting, and the world is ruled by those who can afford calligraphy lessons.
  111. A universe where the devil makes fingernails grow very quickly in order to tempt people into procrastination.
  112. A universe where inflatable bath pillows just grow larger and larger, they keep changing shape, and the people of the world are perpetually entranced by them; there’s one overwhelming Central Park which is absolutely mesmerizing.
  113. A universe where ‘cowabunga’ is a popular expression referring to cow bungs, which are presumably plentiful in this universe.
  114. A universe where the people pray that the word ‘bung’ means something other than it does in our own universe, as cow bungs are plentiful here as well.
  115. A universe where harmonious music melds all of creation together into a single atonal mess.
  116. A universe where the letter M is the topic of pretty much all lewd discussions.
  117. A universe where the first AI to pass a Turing test was programmed on one of the planets where all the people of the world are components in a single giant computer.
  118. A universe where the Earth is made of layers of clouds we can walk on, but don’t, since this planet also features continental-size whales.
  119. A universe where Harry Potter is real but Harry is an amorphous blob of goo, and the goo is slightly more viscous that it is in the other gooey Harry Potter universe.
  120. A universe where an atom in the room you are currently in spontaneously split, and the world blew up.
  121. A universe where computer technology is even more ubiquitous than it is in our own universe because Steve Jobs was never born and people learned to compute without GUIs.
  122. A universe where male pattern baldness is universal and beards are grown as a comb over.
  123. A universe where stuffed animals are filled with balls of dust to meet recycling quotas.
  124. A universe where one must bow to the Holy Kween of K and bathe in her glory.
  125. A universe where faster-than-light travel is impossible but people are patient, not to mention immortal.
  126. A universe where spotted leaves are taken to be the sign of a coming parade of ladybugs.
  127. A universe where urine is conserved as a cleaning agent to provide learning opportunities for squeamish people.
  128. A universe where a single dog shall yap for all eternity when humans become beings of pure intelligence and leave this plane of existence.
  129. A universe where the Spartans preferred to be gentlemen farmers and would send the helots off to fight wars instead.
  130. A universe where the letter W is too prudish to admit it’s an upside-down M.
  131. A universe where vases have a hole poked through the bottom so water can pour out.
  132. A universe where the last believers in geocentricism tried to install a giant painted dome over Europe.
  133. A universe where all the art of the world stayed in place but London still hosts the greatest works ever created; it’s that great a city.
  134. A universe where the ancient planet Theia was inhabited, and the Theians tried to thwart the prophecy that one day the Earth would destroy them.
  135. A universe where you’ll have to make sure to get the shower mat wet today if you want to drink anything.
  136. A universe where sleepwalking birds just walk when they get too tired to fly.
  137. A universe where sports-playing animals would rather play with each other.
  138. A universe where Qin Shi Huang wanted mercury to be buried in his tomb just in case he’d been right all along.
  139. A universe where all animals are given little hats to wear as a solution to seasonal employment, but not to structural unemployment.
  140. A universe where triptychs are broken up and used as vertical blinds, in order to teach people about the afterlife.
  141. A universe where humans are doing a really good job.
  142. A universe where the whole world gets flooded every so often by atheists trying to prove God wrong.
  143. A universe where retail companies establish gift card programs in order to take advantage of telemarketing fraud.
  144. A universe where all doors are assumed to be portals to another dimension, and the world lacks faith in science because it has not yet explained why no door ever leads to another dimension.
  145. A universe where primitive technologies often produce laser beams, and no one is sure what to do with them.
  146. A universe where people from sunny climes are disinterested in ever seeing snow, as their attempts to recreate it at home with mayonnaise were rather disappointing.
  147. A universe where flags are not necessary as long as you have enough flag poles to fly them all.
  148. A universe where people never die and it actually doesn’t cause that many problems.
  149. A universe where humans are doing a really bad job.
  150. A universe where you did not once swim away in terror from a bridge near your childhood creek; if that never happened during your life in this universe either, then the murderer must still be out there.
  151. A universe where people always try to kill flies by squashing them with their feet because the law mandates that all things must be ironic.
  152. A universe where grains of rice are infinite because every time you finish counting them a new one grows on the other side of the world.
  153. A universe where giant dogs are used to dig holes but their claws are too weak to cut through rock.
  154. A universe where turtles and doves meet up every night to say hello out of obligation to human culture, though they really don’t understand it.
  155. A universe where vinyl siding is installed on the facade of a house.
  156. A universe where Khrushchev was ousted for needlessly wearing out a shoe.
  157. A universe where the bones of the previous monarch are used to decorate an ossuary, which is always fun to visit.
  158. A universe where sentience is bred into certain species in order to maintain human control of the pecking order.
  159. A universe where Harry Potter is real but he’s missing an eyebrow.
  160. A universe where amphibians actually have more developed emotions than humans, they just seem not to as they greatly esteem stoicism.
  161. A universe where humans are doing a job, and that’s enough.
  162. A universe where the following is an ambigram: “gdfgiouh sdpufhdf sdjjfhd ssd.”
  163. A universe where a speck of dust has been god-queen for the past 2000 years and the high priests rule the world in her name.
  164. A universe where intelligent beings who once were human compulsively see flashes of a single yapping dog.
  165. A universe where paintings are not valued unless they have been left to dry in the sun until nearly invisible, because people like to use their imaginations.
  166. A universe where staircases are manufactured by spilling water on escalators and keeping all buildings in freezing temperatures.
  167. A universe where furbies have achieved the consciousness of bacteria.
  168. A universe where the temple priests were overcome by holding so many sumptuous banquets and solemn processions that they forget to do anything else.
  169. A universe where there are a finite amount of ideas.
  170. A universe where sponge manufacturing is a protected industry, and soaking a sponge is the only legal way to transport liquid.
  171. A universe where people really like dots so everyone wears polka-dot contact lenses.
  172. A universe where polities divide themselves according to comparative advantage.
  173. A universe where mistakes are encouraged, because the only known way to create an original idea is to write the same thing over and over again until the typos accumulate.
  174. A universe where saying hello is awkward because people never say goodbye.
  175. A universe where Earth is the most significant planet in the universe.
  176. A universe where everyone slows down when too many people are in a single room.
  177. A universe where pigs dress up as toes and go to market as a ploy to escape their fate.
  178. A universe where semidetached houses are split apart during disputes with the neighbor.
  179. A universe where Mercury is just hot enough to cook a nice Christmas goose, if only that were possible.
  180. A universe where dancing is very impressive, as it is thought to be random hopping.
  181. A universe where the people of offshore islands call them mountains to seem more prominent, unless they’re mostly flat, in which case they call them mountains to seem pointier.
  182. A universe where epiphanies are sparked by long walks and runners are philosophers.
  183. A universe where a species of insect exists which burrows into discarded animal fur in order to become adopted as a pet.
  184. A universe where planets have anchors millions of miles long to see what will happen.
  185. A universe where typographic size is based on the size of the letter S, and the size of the letter S is based on the size of snakes.
  186. A universe where guns do not have triggers, to ensure that they always act according to their own volition.
  187. A universe where humans became beings of pure intelligence and went back to Earth, to bring back dogs as beings of pure emotion.
  188. A universe where nouns are still capitalized in English, which is where the people who randomly capitalize words originate.
  189. A universe where dinosaurs did not use to slather themselves with feathers from other animals.
  190. A universe where aliens tried to inhibit human progress by projecting fake stars into the sky.
  191. A universe where cats and dogs always vocalize in sync.
  192. A universe where male babies are preferred, because humans are not born with lips and need to have a substitute implanted at birth.
  193. A universe where aging is cured and dating is weird.
  194. A universe where the quest to end world poverty was complete once nobody used twigs as tooth brushes anymore.
  195. A universe where Earth is the least significant planet in the universes.
  196. A universe where cruises are fun, because cruise ships are psychedelic submarines rather than things which are not psychedelic.
  197. A universe where fire is sentient and has been intellectually starved since the introduction of talkies.
  198. A universe where garbage bins do not have covers, to encourage people to reuse trash as a lid.
  199. A universe where large clusters of seeds are often mistaken for grains of sand trying to be a tree.
  200. A universe where government policies are chosen according to the whims of alphabet soup, and elections are held over the set of pasta to be used.
  201. A universe where people drink from faucets because dishwashers don’t remove all the gunk from drinking cups.
  202. A universe where artificial gravity has been invented to allow people from the other end of the world to live on cliff sides, where their blood won’t rush to their head.
  203. A universe where mad scientists are slowly destroying the Earth and building a new planet in its place, to test the habitability of exoplanets.
  204. A universe where the devil sends you new projects to embark upon just as you are about to finish the previous one.
  205. A universe where 18th century monarchs would change they hairstyle every day, to see what everyone else would do.
  206. A universe where balls of mud are crisscrossed all around the world, to ensure that people always know where they are and can make pottery on the fly.
  207. A universe where defeatist fatalists are given trophies in an attempt to cheer them up.
  208. A universe where red paint is used instead of band aids, because red paint is always on sale, but nobody actually wants to paint things red.
  209. A universe where humungous butterflies stand on the backs of peahens to promote animal homosexuality.
  210. A universe where the inside of vents have security grates.
  211. A universe where all houses are multistory atriums, to ensure that children won’t be scared of going to the basement.
  212. A universe with a fixed population, where excess people are stuffed into crawl spaces and let out only when there’s room for them.
  213. A universe where Earth competes with a planet a billion light years away to be the most significant.
  214. A universe where people wear burning wigs to show their emotions.
  215. A universe where ducks which grow up with humans think that they’re legs.
  216. A universe where humans kill animals out of repressed feelings of udder-envy.
  217. A universe where the decline of the Roman Empire began with the popularization of fanciful wall paintings.
  218. A universe where batteries are transparent so you can see the electric fairies suck up the power crystals.
  219. A universe where poisons are so slow acting that nobody realizes it when someone gets poisoned, so nobody ever bothers to poison other people, which is another reason why nobody notices.
  220. A universe where Chihuahuas evolved without human interference.
  221. A universe where bees are a pest because nectar is thought to be hummingbird spit.
  222. A universe where happy aliens huddle on the edge of parties watching the merriment whenever they invade Earth.
  223. A universe where Earth is the most significant planet in the universe, but is not considered to be as such.
  224. A universe where glitter is used to cover up mistakes.
  225. A universe where domestic black holes are used to reduce clutter.
  226. A universe where barcodes contain the secret to happiness, if only we humans would learn how to read them ourselves.
  227. A universe where klaxons are a tool of the new world order.
  228. A universe where quinces enrich the Earth with the perfume of angels.
  229. A universe where viral infections are embraced as the latest evolutionary test.
  230. A universe where galaxies are the light fixtures of some cosmic being, and planets are like little gnats that block the light.
  231. A universe where radicalized sheepdogs are contemplating making a cull of all the sheeple who won’t listen to them.
  232. A universe where pipe cleaners are the dried tentacles of micro octopi.
  233. A universe where all cities are built exactly opposite to how they are built in our own universe, even if that means the terrain has to be extensively modified.
  234. A universe where people write smiley faces besides the word ‘abject’ to make poverty seem better.
  235. A universe where the mass hallucination machine was invented to destroy truth once and for all.
  236. A universe where nothing ever changes.
  237. A universe where humans realize that they’re amoebas, and must walk around in human-shaped suits to correct their figures.
  238. A universe where giant bubbles affix to people’s heads as a source of drinking water, and you have to be careful not to pop it.
  239. A universe where humans climb up the different levels of a building by jumping over walls twice as tall as their heads.
  240. A universe where people bleed themselves to create a new person who will follow around and hold their coats.
  241. A universe where sarcasm breaks the ice.
  242. A universe where telephone wires fly with the wind so people can listen to the wondrous sounds of nature.
  243. A universe where Nazca society wasn’t omnipresent.
  244. A universe where nobody has children because it’s so much more fun to jump on a trampoline.
  245. A universe where people are able to buy time, which gives them the opportunity to push the minute hand further along.
  246. A universe where the Northwest Megalopolis was split from the rest of the US by reactionary secessionists who wanted to restore the original country.
  247. A universe where all of a person’s body parts are separate beings which run around trying to find each other, and those which most successfully reproduce a human shape attain the power to jump around happily.
  248. A universe where universes found within another universe are carefully protected and then let free once technology allows.
  249. A universe where earthquakes are Gaia trying to shake us off.
  250. A universe which prohibits realistic art, where people must sleep in flowerbeds instead of using sheets with floral-pattern arrangements.
  251. A universe where cultures with big names also struggle with pronouncing them.
  252. A universe where people write down all the numbers they can’t remember and send them to mathematicians who might be interested in finding a new number.
  253. A universe where all articles from The Onion are believed to have come true, due to mass hallucinations created by The Onion.
  254. A universe where the world is covered with bunting in case everyone decides to convert to Christianity in time to celebrate the Carnival.
  255. A universe where tomatoes are sucked of their juice and the empty skins are used to hold blood for April Fool’s day, which is called blood-tomato day in this universe.
  256. A universe where car horns are emergency oxygen tanks, and you’re only harming yourself if you honk them.
  257. A universe where people buy new baby shoes to sell at a higher price during the next baby boom.
  258. A universe where people dunk their heads in milk in case they run out.
  259. A universe which has run out of space, requiring the conquest of another dimension.
  260. A universe where the world is also populated by a race of gender spirits, who must jump from host to host in order to survive.
  261. A universe where bulletproof glass is designed to be vulnerable to arrows, as a precaution in case you lose your keys.
  262. A universe where home automation took over the world, dooming humanity, as man-houses built next to lady-houses never cease to politely lift their roofs.
  263. A universe where universes found within another universe are squashed.
  264. A universe where Google renamed itself Googol, and nobody understood what that meant until Ging the Gerciless took over.
  265. A universe where donuts eat people in the dreams of little dogs, who are always giving us donuts which they found on the street.
  266. A universe where the Earth’s layers are arranged as slices, despite all the forces which compel them to be concentric layers.
  267. A universe where computer environments have melded with the real world without using any kind of augmented reality technology.
  268. A universe where everyone suffers from narcolepsy and serious anxiety issues, and crying over spilt milk results in one falling asleep and dreaming that milk has not been spilt.
  269. A universe where microbial societies only evolve in the air pockets of painted surfaces, as paint is a proto-microbial substance.
  270. A universe where poker chips are a means of exchange, as the world is considered a giant casino, even though people only gamble at actual casinos.
  271. A universe where short-haired persons are sometimes obligated to cut off all their hair in order to weave it as a single lock, in case someone needs to escape.
  272. A universe where cooling fans are giant flowers which spray petals on us, but don’t really cool us down.
  273. A universe where falling leaves are sewn together to make artificial boats for the people who sail in shallow puddles because they’re scared of drowning.
  274. A universe where boring people chuckle when nobody’s looking.
  275. A universe where strip malls are something else.
  276. A universe where the empty spaces within the tubes of floor lamps are used to carry messages from the ceiling to the floor by those who like to speak with ants.
  277. A universe where doors are made of many layers of lattice and they’re nearly impossible to open.
  278. A universe where the oceans are giant drops of water and secret civilizations live in the air pockets down below.
  279. A universe where cats and dogs have learned to work together by coordinating their emotions in such a way that their tales perk up in conjunction, and they use these super strong combo-tails to more efficiently beg for food.
  280. A universe where Mercury is even more obscure than it is in our own universe.
  281. A universe where your bed just collapsed and the monster gobbled you up.
  282. A universe where utilitarianism is taught at schools so children won’t mind being used as projectiles to stop speeding trains.
  283. A universe where metal pins are planted in the ground and watered in the hopes that they will grow to become skyscrapers.
  284. A universe of perpetual peace and plenty, where claims of generational decline are overblown.
  285. A universe where children living in Venusian balloon cities hate receiving balloon prizes, because they’re sick of everyone in the balloon cities of Venus always talking about balloons.
  286. A universe where invisibility cloaks exist but only museums are allowed to use them.
  287. A universe where oil companies send biologists back in time, so they could use their science to make dinosaurs better at turning into oil.
  288. A universe where the mole people and the space people invaded and shook hands once all the humans were killed.
  289. A universe where stealing hats is a victimless crime.
  290. A universe where the random scribbles of our universe are also random scribbles, but nobody says so for fear of not seeming smart.
  291. A universe where everyone has achieved great success in life ever since the savegame was invented.
  292. A universe where your first relationship should have lasted longer, but unfortunately, you each spat in each other’s face.
  293. A universe where the chemtrail conspiracy was exposed by a disgruntled skywriter.
  294. A universe where the only way to copy an image from a digital computer is to leak the chemicals from the display.
  295. A universe where people in unfashionable clothes are very popular, as they are assumed to be time travelers.
  296. A universe where people have extra limbs, which together allow them to do just one extra thing besides what their regular arms do, as these extra limbs aren’t very strong.
  297. A universe where the stop sign at the corner of 12th avenue and 14th street is crooked, and it’s caused you a lot of recent awkwardness because you know nothing about it but it was all anyone could talk about today.
  298. A universe where music recording is extremely expensive, because musicians keep forgetting which direction of the track is backwards and which is forwards, and keep confusing the song for the secret message.
  299. A universe where magic users only live in secret because of a long-forgotten ban on pointy hats.
  300. A universe where people in the fourth century weren’t stubby and rigid.
  301. A universe where towers are shaped like upside-down triangles.
  302. A universe which everyone is exactly like they see themselves in our own universe.
  303. A universe where Evangelicals have had less of an impact on the world, as all they ever do is try to catch people with fishing rods.
  304. A universe where the East Asian continent is culturally believed to stop at the Himalayas.
  305. A universe where stars are very dense galaxies.
  306. A universe where you know you’re an adult when you start feeling the urge to wear a fedora.
  307. A universe where little planets explore the universe searching for somewhere to live.
  308. A universe where the thinkers of the Carolingian Renaissance never figured out why the sun had gone out.
  309. A universe where all hats need to be painted red, in order to distinguish the wearers from those who do not wear hats.
  310. A universe where a computer took over the government and put a bunch of clowns in Congress, to ease in AI rule by conforming to popular notions of government.
  311. A universe where air fresheners are just filled with mountain air, so you have to keep buying them, if you want to keep pretending you live on a mountain.
  312. A universe where government agencies try practicing with uncontacted peoples before attempting to communicate with extra-terrestrial life.
  313. A universe where people wear neon lights instead of hats to keep warm in winter.
  314. A universe where people always pretend that they don’t recognize their friends, as an inside joke, and society runs smoothly because everyone is comfortable with strangers.
  315. A universe where painted statues are sentient and can do nothing about their hair.
  316. A universe where omnibuses don’t do all the bus things.
  317. A universe where a person’s preferred manner of death is taken into account by life insurance policies.
  318. A universe where statuettes are made by shaving statues.
  319. A universe where chocolate is promoted as a condiment for everything, to discourage consuming chocolate.
  320. A universe where art galleries have prayer rooms to allow the faithful to reflect upon the religious art displayed, but neopagans aren’t allowed in.
  321. A universe where giant bugs roam the Earth emitting pollutants for us to eat.
  322. A universe where your first relationship did not last, and that’s a bad thing in this universe for a reason your ex won’t divulge.
  323. A universe where statues are made by putting magnifying glasses in front of statuettes.
  324. A universe where all copies of the same book emit GPS signals to help people find each other.
  325. A universe where the First Council of Nicaea failed to thwart Arianism and the Roman Empire collapsed in consequence.
  326. A universe where people self-identify as folk.
  327. A universe where half of all humans lack physical bodies because they have tremendous willpower.
  328. A universe where turkeys pretend that they’ve just finished mating whenever the humans are looking.
  329. A universe where alien planets are actually very diverse, and they only seem monocultural because we know nothing about them.
  330. A universe where people who are unsure whether or not they should invite themselves over just bring a tent along.
  331. A universe where the ice crystals from freezers are harvested to cool down the Earth.
  332. A universe where CGI special effects are decried because audiences miss watching movies where the characters were played by ants in people clothes.
  333. A universe where the twisted ribbons stretching far beneath the Earth bring up goodies when someone pulls them, so they say.
  334. A universe which is sideways and is about to tip over.
  335. A universe where grenades do not have pins so they could teach soldiers how to juggle.
  336. A universe where human progress ended with the Neolithic Revolution because it met all of humanity’s basic evolutionary needs.
  337. A universe where smiling solves everything.
  338. A universe where elevators are powered by trampolines, which are themselves powered by the elevator cars.
  339. A universe where elastic train cars are moved by pogo sticks.
  340. A universe where gladiatorial games were banned in Rome, after Caligula sent the audience to the lions because he was bored.
  341. A universe where mausoleums are made of the sarcophagi of the people in order for everyone to get a grand burial.
  342. A universe where grandfather clocks are no longer manufactured, because minute hands rarely stop moving nowadays so we don’t need our clocks to pace the floor as a backup system.
  343. A universe where the moon left the Earth on purpose and feels really awkward when children say goodnight.
  344. A universe where hanging gardens are built upside down and the strongest men in the world must continuously juggle them.
  345. A universe where shower curtains are the go-to object to hide a quick escape.
  346. A universe where dolls are mixed into potato sacks to teach people how to differentiate baby heads from potatoes.
  347. A universe where Chinese finger traps are airdropped over the enemy during wartime.
  348. A universe where domestic murals increase house prices, and the housing bubble burst because the market had been flooded with too many copies of Seurat’s Sunday Afternoon.
  349. A universe where whatever you most dread is a thing.
  350. A universe where soaked up wads of paper towel are a terrible gift for your loved ones.
  351. A universe where history is divided into Ages, and historians spend most of their time arguing over which events ought to be considered the most epic.
  352. A universe where the Earth is breaking apart, because tobacco companies keep detaching micro volcanoes to resell as cigarette lighters.
  353. A universe where the Sun’s eventual implosive destruction of the Earth will be averted by installing a giant magnifying class in front of Alpha Centauri, and the Centaurians will be destroyed instead.
  354. A universe where Versailles has adjusted to overcrowding by encouraging group photos to be taken on the royal beds.
  355. A universe where laceless shoes insist upon being called socks, for a reason the shoe-socks never cease to explain to us; unfortunately, the vocalizations of shoes are inaudible to humans in this universe.
  356. A universe where races of highly cultured humanoids refuse to be displaced by humans.
  357. A universe where the US constitution formally gives the federal government a mandate to regulate shirt collars, to protect the rights of large-necked persons, and the NSA has used this power to great effect.
  358. A universe where video rental companies never went out of business because middle-aged people were scared of computers and didn’t like the risks of downloading.
  359. A universe where belts do not need to have holes poked into them.
  360. A universe where nobody can ever sleep, as the Earth starts bouncing up and down the closer it gets to the Sun.
  361. A universe where dead eyeball holes are given life so they could become something other than an eyeball hole.
  362. A universe where the Holy Queen of Hard-C is so good that she bathes the worthy with her own breath.
  363. A universe where digital speakers which repeat the word ‘revival’ are forbidden from being sewn into headgear, as zombies come back to life at the drop of a hat.
  364. A universe where periscopes are buried in the sand, in case somebody will someday be buried alive at that exact spot.
  365. A universe where Christianity spread much more rapidly because Christians argued that God had simply defeated the Olympians.
  366. A universe where packaged pico de gallo comes with a disclaimer to avoid lawsuits.
  367. A universe where people wear progressively larger platform shoes to make age differences more noticeable.
  368. A universe where Google offers a Pirate version of all its languages.
  369. A universe where it is possible for abstract art to become a kind of simulated reality.
  370. A universe where people eagerly board ferries to nowhere, in case there’s a nearby town they haven’t explored yet.
  371. A universe where cracks which occur naturally in walls are enlarged in order to make organic doors and windows.
  372. A universe where people are impressed by backwards-worn baseball caps.
  373. A universe where children wear cleats and jump rope is a torture method.
  374. A universe where all works of art tell a sequential story which started a couple thousand years ago, incentivizing tourists to visit all the museums of the world.
  375. A universe where cheap artists make mosaics by carving up their own paintings.
  376. A universe where the concoctions in mixing bowls feel icky, so you need to cook them as quickly as possible for them to calm down enough to no longer feel icky.
  377. A universe where chemical experiments are conducted by smashing varying quantities of chemistry sets together.
  378. A universe which is inside out, but everything inside the universe isn’t.
  379. A universe where babies are born completely covered in fur, which is then shed throughout their lives.
  380. A universe where frogs have adhesive feet, and whenever you pull one out a ravine a whole bunch of them come up screaming for you to put them down, no matter how much the one you pulled may like you.
  381. A universe where mules are the unplanned consequence of deluded donkeys.
  382. A universe where the terms ‘primitive’ and ‘barbaric’ will become extremely popular in future societies.
  383. A universe where flowers think humans of all sizes are weeds, and they never cease to spit on our feet with their sweet nectar.
  384. A universe where prisons are giant fiery pits which compel inmates to pitch fiery hay.
  385. A universe where Earth has just one government in consequence of some war, with 5,000 official languages.
  386. A universe where all pre-digital systems of exchanging information have retroactively been renamed the ‘internet’ of whatever historical period they come from.
  387. A universe where feathery mammals like to put on beaks when the birds aren’t looking.
  388. A universe where pranksters have driven so many caravans of yellow cars past school buses that the children no longer care.
  389. A universe where Hilary Clinton won in a landslide; most of the election universes received that result, frankly.
  390. A universe where anarchists try to destroy society by dancing a jig in the streets, to stop people from being able to go anywhere.
  391. A universe where water does not harbor bacteria and may be used as a cleaning solution.
  392. A universe which is stretched out, and whose inhabitants are always surprised by how thin all the other universes are.
  393. A universe where receipts are temporary tattoos.
  394. A universe where people cry whenever they run out of water.
  395. A universe where the Lord of the Rings is true, but not the Silmarillion or The Hobbit, due to various geographic and evolutionary mutations 20,000 years ago.
  396. A universe where the red and white blood cells sometimes attack each other, and the sensation sends us off screaming in terror.
  397. A universe where cars spray a cleaning solution onto the sidewalk at all times, in case someone gets splashed.
  398. A universe where you had a premonition of what you just read, and then another one, and another, and have just entered an infinite loop, because in this universe I’ve never stopped writing “and another.”
  399. A universe where everyone is confused by each other and things just escalate.
  400. A universe where worms save themselves from birds after rainstorms, by biting behind squirrels and pretending to be rat tails.
  401. A universe where inanimate substances such as rocks also evolve.
  402. A universe where everyone lives in an expensive mansion but must build a new one every day because the old one burns down every night.
  403. A universe where the equator is a ring of fire, and the world is ruled by fire-resistant elites who jet around the world drinking martinis.
  404. A universe where people try to keep their health by mummifying what they could as they go along.
  405. A universe where balls of fire only seem big from the vantage point of considerably sizable humanoid ants.
  406. A universe where red clay roofs are used to fireproof the house in case of a hay storm.
  407. A universe where the economic crisis was caused by the discovery that the water found in a deceased billionaire’s swimming pool was just water, not melted gold, and his heirs were bankrupted.
  408. A universe where dogs are resentful that we never say hello properly.
  409. A universe where the light bulb was an abject failure because glass walls containing rows of candles were very popular in the 1870s.
  410. A universe where Googie houses are extremely popular, but nobody lives in them, because people just like craning their necks to look at interesting things.
  411. A universe where Elvis Presley was controversial because he didn’t wear a hat.
  412. A universe where counterfeit clothes are shipped to other countries by tearing them apart and hiding the string in candles.
  413. A universe where arrow keys fly around your head to make games more fun for the keys.
  414. A universe where trickster animals turn on humans.
  415. A universe where dogs walk around on hind legs, so as not to seem too obviously nonhuman.
  416. A universe where terracotta statues are buried to keep dead people company, and that’s it.
  417. A universe where the people resemble those who have died on Earth, and are born at the moment of their death.
  418. A universe where skid marks complicate the search for tire-footed animals.
  419. A universe where modern aliens are questioning whether or not they should conduct archeological digs on Earth.
  420. A universe where apple trees were domesticated before dogs and bred to be tiny, as dogs don’t like regular apples.
  421. A universe where another universe is slowly stealing all their matter and switching it for some lesser matter of their own.
  422. A universe where nonsensical ideas are rewritten as perfectly sensible stories about men bouncing balls for all eternity.
  423. A universe which gets more fanciful the higher in the clouds you get.
  424. A universe where spaceships are used as cars by people commuting the New York-Olympus Mons corridor.
  425. A universe where men bounce balls for one second less than eternity.
  426. A universe where da Vinci just liked to draw Rube Goldberg machines.
  427. A universe where fire is sentient and very friendly.
  428. A universe where the government encourages people to run across the street, so it won’t have to maintain a speed limit and thereby imperil liberty.
  429. A universe where nobody believes in parallel universes, because doodle bugs don’t have the capacity to believe in anything.
  430. A universe where lava bubbles which ascend through the Earth and pop in the sky are even prettier than fireworks.
  431. A universe where there is a giant underground tunnel stretching from one end of the Earth to the other, and for the thirty years between 1960 and 1990 we knew how to travel through it and trade expanded massively, but then we forgot how and civilization’s about to collapse.
  432. A universe where the Europeans invented stories of magical realms in exotic countries to keep the locals occupied.
  433. A universe where everyone is always happy no matter what happens.
  434. A universe where all living things own pets, as a ploy devised by ladybugs to differentiate themselves from other bugs.
  435. A universe where dinosaurs survive in a giant bubble at the bottom of the sea and have been struggling to break out for the past year or so.
  436. A universe where wooden shutters are processed through fire so that the ones that survive can be sold as super-shutters.
  437. A universe where walls turn into doors if you scratch them long enough.
  438. A universe where slumming is morally fine since maids make it reciprocal.
  439. A universe where nutritional food is chopped to a nice mush and then added with flavor, so nobody needs to worry about nutrition.
  440. A universe where the Mesoamericans knew about protractors.
  441. A universe where 1984 happened, but the telescreens lacked working cameras because funds had to be diverted to boot production.
  442. A universe where the people buried alive in ancient royal tombs were fed by grave robbers, which was good, because they would have run out of things to talk about otherwise.
  443. A universe where civilization is much more advanced than it is in our universe, but everyone is scared of heights so they have to use supersonic hyperloops rather than airplanes, and they suffer terribly for it.
  444. A universe where removing gunk from between the floor tiles is universally acknowledged as the funnest thing to do, ever.
  445. A universe where nobody ever talks because everyone has a fetish for tongues.
  446. A universe where carpet stores are jungle gyms to encourage proper care.
  447. A universe where the consort to Queen Elizabeth II is called the King.
  448. A universe where minimum wage laws have a loophole which states that businesses don’t have to pay night crew more than day crew if there is a sunflower on the premises.
  449. A universe where natural forces do indeed agitate the remains of the deceased whenever their legacy is offended.
  450. A universe where the New Yorker’s universal caption is “Fifty-Eight,” as there are only fifty-eight people in this universe and the fifty-eighth is a famous dolt.
  451. A universe where streets are all canals because thelassocratic superpowers refuse to make their ships compatible with land vehicles.
  452. A universe where neckties are used to carry spare socks.
  453. A universe where banks do not have safes, because bankers carry money in their top hats.
  454. A universe where the Earth is flat, but it cannot sustain life because the climate fluctuates dramatically.
  455. A universe where art galleries use their paintings to create mosaics of the paintings they don’t have.
  456. A universe where northern countries are perpetually covered with snow.
  457. A universe where mattresses have a slit in the middle for you to get in.
  458. A universe where squeezing tofu is advertised as an alternative to soy milk, to boost tofu sales.
  459. A universe where office environments are zany in a way they are not in our own universe.
  460. A universe where snow used to be shipped down to southern colonies by the European powers, in order to create the conditions conducive to their idea of a superior race.
  461. A universe where raindrops are frozen upon landing on the ground, to be repurposed as lenses for eyeglasses.
  462. A universe where the West didn’t realize it when the global zeitgeist shifted to China because nobody spoke Chinese.
  463. A universe which developed the technology to allow humans to communicate with animals, and pet ownership collapsed as a result because we found it too awkward.
  464. A universe where dedicated email devices pose serious competition to smartphones.
  465. A universe where fax-telephone combos were used to broadcast television.
  466. A universe where music players provide the option of shuffling the music within a song, to create melodic white noise.
  467. A universe where animals have dedicated rapid-transit systems in order to protect humanity from infectious diseases.
  468. A universe where the young generation is considered to be lazy because they never needed to make plastic bags out of saran wrap.
  469. A universe where shredded worms are returned to the earth as a sacrifice to seagulls.
  470. A universe where the electric bathtub was used instead of the electric chair as a method of execution, and all electric bathtubs were used in steam engines to lower fuel costs.
  471. A universe where music is recorded by manually writing audiograms.
  472. A universe where there is a constant whooshing sound deriving from the supersonic people who keep on stealing our food, as there is no such thing as a supersonic pickle.
  473. A universe where monkeys are only able to climb up trees by climbing each other’s tails, so some are never allowed to get down.
  474. A universe where birds maintain transportation networks catering to butterflies.
  475. A universe populated by creatures which resemble the everyday objects of our own universe, who often switch between being food or sentient beings.
  476. A universe where all matter is made of funny hats deriving from the universe which banned head lice and forced everyone to wear combs at all times.
  477. A universe where Google has limited the availability of its services to a chain of internet cafés, in a bid to combat social isolation.
  478. A universe where carrots are grown to be walking sticks in case of emergency.
  479. A universe where people strive to walk on their hands in order to discover who has the most merit.
  480. A universe where people hold multiple pairs of knives together to create new and cooler objects, but never scissors, which need screws; knives are not screws.
  481. A universe where playing with the dial on a radio was used a form of telegraphy and is now used for wifi.
  482. A universe where long hair on men was not frowned upon in the 1950s because it was thought to protect against nuclear radiation.
  483. A universe where everyone sees the world in different colors, and all images have secret messages which are only visible to those who could see certain colors, and they are bound by pain of torture not to share those secret messages with those who cannot read them.
  484. A universe where magnets are thought to be alphas and metals are betas.
  485. A universe where humans cannot blink and goldfish are bred as eyelids.
  486. A universe where cardboard boxes are prized possessions and to fold one is offensive.
  487. A universe where books do not have covers so the pages stick out all around, and philosophers debate over whether books ever truly begin or end.
  488. A universe where Aliens do something differently than they do in our own universe.
  489. A universe where mugs were first invented as a decorative ornament, and the man who realized that they’re able to contain liquids patented the discovery, and nobody is allowed to pour liquids into any mug which he hasn’t manufactured.
  490. A universe where coin tosses have opposite results than in ours, and the color of the sky was decided by coin toss.
  491. A universe where sign language shadow plays are considered the premiere art.
  492. A universe where ancient tombs were left empty by mistake.
  493. A universe where clothes are sewn with loose threads in case you need to tie something up.
  494. A universe where the calendar year is 400 days long and humans are nomads to account for it.
  495. A universe where cats were domesticated before dogs and human evolution converged with them instead.
  496. A universe where eyelashes grow really long and are coated with gel so they could be used as combs.
  497. A universe where classical statues were broken up during the Renaissance so the arms and legs could be used as bedposts.
  498. A universe where the following sequence of letters has meaning: “dfgkjhdg sfg djd sdfjsh fgs daad.”
  499. A universe where different kinds of substances are regularly dropped from airplanes to see if they will precipitate.
  500. A universe where a string of miniature planets extends from the Earth to the Sun, each one habitable, and human life on Earth is totally dependent upon the societies which inhabit each miniature planet, as we haven’t discovered fire.
  501. A universe where cinema was invented before writing, as they figured that words were so worthless it wasn’t even worth trying.
  502. A universe where koalas play basketball with their kangaroo slaves.
  503. A universe where the number of steps you take doubles every time you walk.
  504. A universe where the government maintains a network of game shows instead of social security.
  505. A universe where people have fun by pretending to dictate the precise movements of the people in another universe.
  506. A universe where people feed house fires rather than putting them out, to try to trick the gods into thinking that their punishments are ongoing.
  507. A universe where dogs recognize their reflection in mirrors and therefore do not need to create reflective surfaces with their tongues.
  508. A universe where hot snow falls up because the Earth is covered with little freezer-oven-jetpack combos, which immediately shoot up to the sky whenever a snowflake falls into them.
  509. A universe where the internet was broadcast over the radio as an alternative to dial-up internet and everyone got to see what everyone else was doing.
  510. A universe where units of measurement are based on the capacity of a human stomach.
  511. A universe where Etch-a-Sketches walk around with pictures of baseballs and catchers mitts, hoping someone will pay attention, and some display computers, but even that doesn’t work.
  512. A universe where a country’s territory is completely covered with roads to ensure that you never get lost, though the vast nothingness does get disorienting.
  513. A universe where the Mercator projection accurately portrays the relative size of different landmasses.
  514. A universe where people spend their life savings on giant 1980s supercomputers and drag them around as laptops, and are always screaming at each other to get out of the way.
  515. A universe where something which looks like a blob of steam is touching something that might be a sack, which is creating what might be an explosion of rainbows.
  516. A universe where people artificially enlarge their belly-buttons to augment their gratification.
  517. A universe where women’s pants have useable pockets because they still wear bustles.
  518. A universe where vacuum houses have been attempted as a cure to extreme claustrophobia.
  519. A universe where there is a strip of land running across the circumference of the Earth, and cats chase dogs, but dogs are faster than cats and eventually end up chasing the cat that’s chasing them.
  520. A universe composed of nothing but very pungent smells.
  521. A universe where trees are flipped over during winter to protect the leaves.
  522. A universe which is trying to plot out all the things which could ever happen in any universe, but cannot since this is one of the universes where magic is possible, and they cannot comprehend life without magic.
  523. A universe where a speck of dust is god-king of the world until it is blown away.
  524. A universe where genetic engineers focus on developing life forms which look like bridges.
  525. A universe where the population is in steep decline because only the most attractive people are capable of romantic and sexual relations.
  526. A universe where Christmas is celebrated by attaching a little bow to your head, to remind others to be grateful that you choose to be present in their lives.
  527. A universe where it is possible for a line to be perfectly straight because even atoms are square.
  528. A universe where the oceans are slowly boiling off and the air is suffuse with tea.
  529. A universe where horses give lifts to giant-horned rats in exchange for the horn.
  530. A universe where synonymous persons try to keep apart.
  531. A universe where lead paint is not banned because magnets are used as paintbrushes.
  532. A universe where human behaviors are regularly disrupted by random quantum reassembly.
  533. A universe where all words are ironically used to refer to their antonyms, and words which do not have antonyms are banned for not being funny.
  534. A universe where bridges are designed to routinely collapse to provide memento mori.
  535. A universe where the letters are named ‘letter 1,’ ‘letter 2,’ etc, in order to be fully rational.
  536. A universe where fences are placed along shorelines to stop any more fish from learning how to walk.
  537. A universe where giant mechanical spiders are driven about to either encourage or discourage the existing natural spiders.
  538. A universe where restaurants don’t need secret menus because their armrests are secretly edible instead.
  539. A universe where global warming will create a super race of heat-resistant humans who will survive the eventual heat death of the universe.
  540. A universe where lantern-headed animals run around trying to catch fireflies.
  541. A universe where cannon-batteries are used to electrify remote areas to keep the gun enthusiasts occupied.
  542. A universe where polka dots are all dark brown so that they could be used as napkins.
  543. A universe where randomness assures that impossible machines always result in the intended action.
  544. A universe where light bulb sockets are still used instead of wall outlets, but all electric wires are coated with LEDs and hooks, so every room has a coat rack and it’s really useful.
  545. A universe where songbirds wonder why no one has ever tried to decode their messages.
  546. A universe where electricians lay out cables in artistic patterns because students take practical degrees.
  547. A universe where the king presents a golden mechanical bird to every newborn child as a means of inflating the price of gold.
  548. A universe where whatever cathartic thing you currently most desire is a thing.
  549. A universe where death tolls are expressed as a function of all the people you’ve ever met.
  550. A universe where sunflowers are eradicated for fear of allowing plant life to evolve too far.
  551. A universe where Christians and Muslims took pains to destroy an equal amount of the Classical world.
  552. A universe where ships leave a trail of buoyant cord floating behind them in case someone forgets their luggage.
  553. A universe where the consumption of food causes asphyxiation unless the throat is cleared first.
  554. A universe where Gothic architecture was corrected during the Enlightenment.
  555. A universe where randomness assures that practical machines never result in the intended action.
  556. A universe where sentient toys will take over the world.
  557. A universe where blanket companies put zippers on blankets for free, to destroy the sleeping bag industry.
  558. A universe where all animals are evolving to look extremely boring, in order to evade human capture.
  559. A universe with many miniature stars and planets to soothe humanity’s ego.
  560. A universe where humans have carved an asteroid catcher into the Earth, and are trying to figure out how to move the planet into position should an asteroid strike.
  561. A universe where fairies are real, but magic is not, so they fly by hanging on to butterflies.
  562. A universe where coconuts that fall from trees are worshipped for their agency.
  563. A universe where robots are routinely thrown out as garbage.
  564. A universe where all living organisms constitute a single consciousness which tickles whenever different creatures kill each other.
  565. A universe where no ruler has ever had a secret life.
  566. A universe where dolphins are super-intelligent and study humans by walking around in mobile water tanks.
  567. A universe where bracelets are padded with toilet paper to use as finger rings.
  568. A universe where sentient ants will take over the world.
  569. A universe where people on planes are encouraged to twiddle their thumbs to get there faster.
  570. A universe where you were conceived a second later than you were in our own universe, but you’re still you.
  571. A universe where astrology is a perfectly legitimate science due various astronomical phenomena incomprehensible in this universe.
  572. A universe where shifty floating shortcuts follow us everywhere, in case we break our nerve while going on long trips to avoid paying the high rates shifty floating shortcuts demand.
  573. A universe where your hair is currently standing on end in an attempt to fight off the giant spider slowly falling on your head.
  574. A universe where the Great Wall of China is visible in space using powerful telescopes.
  575. A universe where major surgery is conducted to prevent songs stuck in one’s head from burrowing down through the skull.
  576. A universe where modern art traces its roots back to when academic artists tried to innovate new classical orders for the temples in their paintings, which was tremendously controversial.
  577. A universe where eating gruel is promoted as a measure against income inequality.
  578. A universe where all matter is stuck together as a single massive star.
  579. A universe where blue bonnets are illegal in case someone uses them to disguise an aristocratic head bashing.
  580. A universe where halftone dots are huge, to make sure that readers know that the photograph they see has been reproduced using the halftone method.
  581. A universe where khaki uniforms have betrayed countless soldiers who found themselves in suddenly lush surroundings.
  582. A universe where goodness demands that monarchies be ruled by reverse-Salic law.
  583. A universe where Monet wore glasses.
  584. A universe where people steal each other’s shopping lists in case they have something good.
  585. A universe where passive-aggressive people are ridiculed openly in the hopes that they’ll get the message.
  586. A universe where many people share a single big hats at a time to double as a transportation method for baby orphans.
  587. A universe where giant bumblebees fly around searching for tiny bumblebees to steal nectar from.
  588. A universe where people walk around in animal collars when they want others to pet them.
  589. A universe where little cities are built on top of step ladders in case an ant accidently climbs it.
  590. A universe where lobsters have developed better pincers to protect themselves against humans, and lobsters are harvested for their pincers.
  591. A universe where people regularly sneeze at things which are said to be nothing to sneeze at.
  592. A universe where cracks in walls show people scenes from the most similar parallel universe.
  593. A universe where sentient fish will take over the world.
  594. A universe where ancient single-celled life never became complex, but simply held hands and learned to work together.
  595. A universe where people who stand still at all times are sold as Christmas trees, but hangers need to be hung from their noses because they refuse to stretch out their arms.
  596. A universe where currencies are backed by the kill rate of a state’s armies in battle.
  597. A universe where penguin pelts are sold as cheap tuxedos.
  598. A universe where so much ambrosia rained down from the skies that we all burst and reassembled.
  599. A universe where parrots were used instead of telegraphy, and the internet is operated as a system of flying mechanical parrots.
  600. A universe where rain is thought to be something other than the tears of angels.
  601. A universe where people drink from condom-like receptacles rather than bothering with bottles and straws.
  602. A universe where laboratories are magic factories which create concoctions out of thin air.
  603. A universe where the carbonized remains of schoolyard dirt-forts will be the last remaining evidence of contemporary military architecture.
  604. A universe where the Confederacy won the American Civil War by infesting northern carpet factories with moths.
  605. A universe where the most evil plan ever conceived was to poke someone in the belly-button.
  606. A universe where all dice rolled at the same moment in time result in the same number.
  607. A universe where the world’s entire urban population lives in only one city at a time, and the population rotates between countries every four years to promote intercultural interaction.
  608. A universe where the capital of the world is atop a very high mountain, to make it equitably inaccessible.
  609. A universe where people with very long necks wear body suits to try to seem properly proportionate, and it works, as everyone has a very small head in this universe.
  610. A universe where everyone is bilingual, as schools ensure that students learn the same grunts.
  611. A universe where modern novels seem to be a random bunch of nouns, but are actually sophisticated structures which can only be understood by the trained few who can decode their symbolic algorithms.
  612. A universe where the Pharaohs were cremated and their pyramids used to hold the mummified grain they would need in the afterlife.
  613. A universe where sound breaks the sound barrier when you scream.
  614. A universe where sports are different in some way.
  615. A universe where total frankness is the rule and everyone is the best of friends in consequence.
  616. A universe where motes of dust caught in the sunlight are frozen in place so the children could count them.
  617. A universe where sentient cars will take over the world.
  618. A universe where all dice rolled at the same moment in time produce numbers which correspond to each other according to some kind of code.
  619. A universe where only two people have ever existed at any given time, and they only ever meet to mate and then kill the parent of the same sex as the child, in order to avert a Malthusian catastrophe.
  620. A universe where dictionaries are written as choose-your-own adventure books, and the ones with the fewest root words are the best.
  621. A universe where the plus and minus symbols are reversed and it has resulted in critical mathematical discoveries.
  622. A universe where wallpaper is used as paper towel and it’s rude to wipe your mouth.
  623. A universe where musical toothbrushes are used for mind control.
  624. A universe where expired juice is reimbursed at liquor stores.
  625. A universe where all fields of knowledge are ranked according to how well they fit into schemas which attempt to rank them from best to worst.
  626. A universe where the grass gets greener the further west you go and every time you circumnavigate the globe your visible spectrum expands.
  627. A universe where solicitors try to run into you on the street, to get around anti-soliciting rules.
  628. A universe where plumbers and electricians are in collusion and electric cords run through water pipes.
  629. A universe where people use hammers for tweezers because of the similarity of all pointed things.
  630. A universe where sentient emotions hope that there are no other sentient non-humans, as they’re scared they might take over the world.
  631. A universe where Earth is orbiting some kind of big rock and is lit up by a bunch of nearby stars, which are very bright.
  632. A universe where the strength of one’s forethought is predicated upon whether or not one has removed their wisdom teeth.
  633. A universe where firms sell portfolios which enable people to live according to as many religious precepts as possible.
  634. A universe where what we would call a toaster oven is just called an oven, as the people here are fairly small and really like eating out of elongated receptacles.
  635. A universe where architecture is a dead profession because we have more than enough buildings to copy already.
  636. A universe which is exactly like ours by some coincidence.
  637. A universe where historians record every possible eventuality of every possible event and write history books by drawing lines between different entries.
  638. A universe where thorny bushes are planted near leafy bushes, in the hopes that they’ll mate and breed thorny leaves which won’t have bushes.
  639. A universe where everything is coated with blue universe dust but it’s totally imperceptible.
  640. A universe where the segway never caught on because moving sidewalks already had.
  641. A universe where all sentient species cooperate with each other in the goal of developing gigantic robots who can step from one planet to another, but there is occasional conflict over which species these gigantic robots will emulate.
  642. A universe where no alien society builds cities composed of domes and ovoid towers.
  643. A universe where prices are expressed as a fixed proportion of one’s total income, and goods and services are paid at tax season, in order to discover the true price of goods and services.
  644. A universe where Coke and Pepsi are the same thing, because each one’s packaging is made of a dried substance derived from their competitor.
  645. A universe where it’s possible to cross a mountain merely by closing your eyes and walking.
  646. A universe where electric rods are made of solidified lightning, but it hasn’t scared the thunderstorms.
  647. A universe where Medieval peoples already were in Cockaigne, if only they had looked beyond the tips of their noses.
  648. A universe where people close their eyes and sing to forget it’s winter, and it actually heats them up.
  649. A universe where there is always a solar eclipse and daytime is when the moon is out.
  650. A universe where telegraph machines reached sentience just before they became obsolete, and spend their lives sending out desperate signals.
  651. A universe where the glaciers are dissolving into snow to bring joy to the tropics.
  652. A universe where expired bread is thrown onto moss in the hopes that it will keep the fungus from spreading any further.
  653. A universe where an empty bag of peanuts echoes with the sound of a thousand oceans from a thousand universes crying out for the lost peanuts.
  654. A universe where people walk on water by swimming very quickly with their toes.
  655. A universe where people buy elastic bands.
  656. A universe where glowing lanterns are thrown up to the sky to make the stars seem less interesting in comparison, and thereby discourage thoughts of exploring the universe we’ll never get to see.
  657. A universe where all exoplanets are anonymous because we don’t want to make assumptions.
  658. A universe where newborn babies are put through conveyor belts to decode their biological sex.
  659. A universe where people hear the voice of God at all times; he never gives it a break, in fact.
  660. A universe where garbage dumps are cryogenically frozen.
  661. A universe where things happen abruptly without natural transition periods.
  662. A universe where pigs welcomed domestication, from an evolutionary perspective, because humans increased their reproduction rate.
  663. A universe where all planets are carefully numbered by the god of this universe, as he has trouble keeping track.
  664. A universe where your personal made-up god exists but is someone else’s personal made-up god.
  665. A universe where people eat boilies rather than cookies, which is pretty much just a cup of hot water with chocolate chips floating on top (they say it’s delicious).
  666. A universe where everyone has a big nose because plastic surgeons just add plastic.
  667. A universe where color photography was never developed, but cell phone cameras nevertheless became ubiquitous, so white people always wear green make-up.
  668. A universe where people wiggle their nose every five seconds, to remind each other of an inside joke no living person understands anymore.
  669. A universe where dwarves are actually just overweight elves.
  670. A universe where lesser life forms don’t avoid death because they’re bored of only ever eating.
  671. A universe where sleepiness is used to ascertain maturity.
  672. A universe where people walk by screaming at the top of their lungs, in the hopes that it will start a chain reaction which will lead to someone kicking them.
  673. A universe where the galaxies revolve around the Earth.
  674. A universe where electric egg beaters need cranks to generate power, which means that you never have to experience a blackout as long as you really like baking cakes.
  675. A universe where pointy hats are whittled to make pins that can poke your eye out.
  676. A universe where your next step will exactly mimic your last one.
  677. A universe where people use umbrellas when it drizzles to protect insect life.
  678. A universe where tree sap is evenly spread upon the bark to stop trees from growing too much.
  679. A universe where all pants are the same length because they have a hole at the knee.
  680. A universe where the Paleolithic age ended when they finally got a new rock.
  681. A universe where everyone has a foot stuck in a gear wheel, and they can only walk by turning around with the other leg.
  682. A universe whose version of you just said what you said, but meant something else to imply what you said.
  683. A universe where pouters are given lollipops so they could learn to suck it up.
  684. A universe where egg sacs are eagerly harvested, to see if the mother mated with any interesting creatures.
  685. A universe where the absolute cheapest pencil sharpeners are just bits of dull metal coated with ink, due to an abundance of good-quality blade sharpeners which even conventional low-quality sharpener companies are able to afford.
  686. A universe where computer speech synthesis programmers gave up and tried telling everyone else to change the way they talk.
  687. A universe where people abruptly end conversations, which are abruptly continued by entirely different people hundreds of years later.
  688. A universe where the very rich have their pants surgically affixed to their legs.
  689. A universe where all spelling and alphabet reforms have been successful in conjunction.
  690. A universe where people hold paper cups by putting it in a mug’s handle, and carry them around with the bowl.
  691. A universe where house fires are caused by turning stove knobs the wrong way.
  692. A universe where absolute dictatorships are the norm but all dictators have split personalities.
  693. A universe where reading a book sparks the creation of a new world, floating in a pool of cerebral fluids inside our heads, a side-effect of which is brain death.
  694. A universe where an ancient civilization has recorded all life on Earth with extremely powerful telescopes, and is trying to beam the information down to us with a giant mirror.
  695. A universe where competitive grammar pendants have winded up creating a new language composed solely of letters which follow each other in the proper sequence.
  696. A universe where governments subsidize music by having machines run according to algorithms based on the music played by symphonies.
  697. A universe where pink lemonade is brewed by rubbing lemon juice on a flamingo.
  698. A universe where books are carefully balanced upright on top of each other to save money on both shelves and cooling fans.
  699. A universe where China is a five thousand year old civilization.
  700. A universe where apples are shaved, to preserve the skin for new kinds of food could be hidden inside.
  701. A universe where whales breed with giraffes so they could grow a periscope.
  702. A universe where Cubism revolutionized the study of human vision.
  703. A universe where padded shoulders are still popular as they make it easier to carry water.
  704. A universe where ozone is discharged by cars, and car-ozone is the only thing mitigating the damage caused by penguins.
  705. A universe where constitutional monarchs cheer themselves up by driving along highways in search of potholes to order filled.
  706. A universe where oars must also be big pencils in case of shipwreck.
  707. A universe where mortification of the flesh is extremely popular, but some dishonest people only like the apparel and those who find hairy chests attractive are often misled.
  708. A universe where classical conditioning was discredited when it was discovered that Pavlov’s dogs had been regular church goers before he found them on the streets.
  709. A universe where English vocabulary is different enough that the following is a meaningful pun: “A universe where ware wair whare wayr”.
  710. A universe where there is absolutely nothing.
  711. A universe where men’s pants come with bulges to discourage women from wearing them.
  712. A universe where nobody ever listens to talking bumblebees, even when they’re really craving honey.
  713. A universe where half of all matter does not emit light in the same visible spectrum as the other half.
  714. A universe where giant turtles carry giant whales on their backs and surface wherever God calls them.
  715. A universe where people are motivated to improve their society’s standard of living because the only legal variety of butter is a margarine blend, and the proportion of butter in the mix increases with every extra dollar of national income.
  716. A universe where wardrobes do not have a cover at the top of the unit so you won’t have to dust it.
  717. A universe where all possible coincidences are carefully planned.
  718. A universe where rust is sacrificed to Neptune to show that we understand and respect his power.
  719. A universe where Curious George is real and uses cats as guinea pigs.
  720. A universe where syringes don’t have needles to ensure they don’t poke through garbage bags when discarded.
  721. A universe where people have giant Dumbo ears and don’t need clothing.
  722. A universe where pidgin was introduced as a new universal language, to help people understand each other better, but it didn’t work at all.
  723. A universe where early modern witches thought that they were carrying on an ancient cult too.
  724. A universe where horrible ancient sea-monster gods with unpronounceable names are a thing but not so horrible.
  725. A universe where spacesuits became fashionable in the 1960s, and they’ve turned out to be very useful in the decades since even though we haven’t really been to space.
  726. A universe where wrinkles actually make it easier to hold on to things.
  727. A universe where governments commission giant $100 collector’s coins in lieu of funding royal portraits.
  728. A universe where the Galactic Emperor has warped our perception of the speed of light, to keep us from leaving the solar system.
  729. A universe where glass windows are designed to explode on impact, to protect against intruders, though not to protect the house.
  730. A universe where portrait artists offered to paint smiles for free in an attempt to compete against daguerreotypes.
  731. A universe where nobody minds when the Communists take over, as all they ever do is regulate cake cutting.
  732. A universe where very large numbers are all replaced with infinity.
  733. A universe where shields are used instead of umbrellas due to the medievalist revolution.
  734. A universe where psychology went nowhere because psychologists focused their energies on poking the brains of fresh cadavers.
  735. A universe where inventors randomly connect wires to glowing buttons to see what will happen.
  736. A universe where people hold a wedding of the painted doll every morning so they can have a holiday, and all industries unrelated to dolls have ground to a halt.
  737. A universe where cheap soy sauce is fruit coloring mixed with salt, and manufacturers spend most of their funds on advertising campaigns promoting the virtues of black teeth.
  738. A universe where audiophiles only listen to music which has been filtered through outer space.
  739. A universe where bacteria are translucent and have a magnifying effect, making it possible to observe atoms without using a microscope.
  740. A universe where a chain of events will lead to you getting a haircut the day after your last one, with terrible consequences.
  741. A universe where books fly around on wings to induce people to read, but they have to fly quickly to avoid getting vandalized.
  742. A universe where King David used a catapult instead of a sling, as he was very tall.
  743. A universe where the corrosive effects of oxygen on the lungs are cured by heartbeats.
  744. A universe where the refrigerator never caught on, as icebox makers kept their edge by selling tiny iceboxes to freeze your hand in.
  745. A universe where all robots are fed drugs to give them the ability to think creatively, and even though it doesn’t work it continues to be done, because no one is sure how else to spark creativity.
  746. A universe where grasshoppers must build trampolines out of grass.
  747. A universe where elephant costumes only fit on humans wearing giraffe costumes, as they evolved out of that particular subculture.
  748. A universe where cleaning companies distribute free buckets of sand.
  749. A universe where Americans wear happy face masks when traveling abroad instead of pretending to be Canadians.
  750. A universe where protesters never achieve anything, as the gods keep on throwing invisibility cloaks over them.
  751. A universe where the artificial languages created on Earth are spoken, but the societies which speak them lack history or culture.
  752. A universe where Bithynian boys continue to woo passing rulers, but since they rarely come to Bithynia anymore the boys must woo the Lydians instead, which is annoying, because there’s only one Lydian stuck with them in the eternal cave deep beneath the Earth.
  753. A universe where warehouses are used to house wares stolen from other warehouses.
  754. A universe where people inflate their mouths with water to keep two steps ahead of the rising cost of water.
  755. A universe where every idea in the world is modeled upon, and explained according to, the gentle swing of a pendulum.
  756. A universe where slithering snake people have a lot of trouble maneuvering, as their arms keep on getting in the way.
  757. A universe where the government is slowly introducing sheep DNA into the population via vaccination.
  758. A universe where the Earth is our universe’s portal to another universe, and people keep on changing their minds.
  759. A universe where oceanic telegraph wires were deliberately wrecked by time travelers who needed emergency supplies of copper for their underwater cities.
  760. A universe where all buildings are encased in a layer of slides and jungle gyms.
  761. A universe where MRAs are outraged that personal music players no longer have two headphone jacks.
  762. A universe where the weather is artificially controlled and airplane technology is obsolete because people travel in big balloons.
  763. A universe where humans protect themselves from wildlife by leaving out pools of various liquids, in the hopes that some will be venomous.
  764. A universe where scientific measurements are rarely accurate, as buoys have achieved sentience due to their extreme isolation, and are ever trying to find each other (but space probes have no problem with being alone since they are designed to be misanthropic).
  765. A universe where guards pace stiffly before the castle entrance and it’s very easy to get past them.
  766. A universe where the Coliseum was used to host cockfighting.
  767. A universe where all objects are coated with a glow-in-the-dark substance.
  768. A universe where fountains dance of their own volition, and cities spend many millions installing plumbing systems which are supposed to prevent it.
  769. A universe which operates according to determinism.
  770. A universe where pears became popular riding off the tails of the rise of the light bulb.
  771. A universe where early Medieval monks spent years writing copies of pagan texts so that they could afterwards burn them.
  772. A universe where long distance travel is conducted by piling hundreds of people together to form a giant pair of legs.
  773. A universe where stains are never cleaned in case of famine.
  774. A universe where giraffes have died out because branches were a little too high for their necks, and they didn’t think to climb each other.
  775. A universe where mazes are grid patterns because nobody has a sense of direction.
  776. A universe where people wear turtles on their head, to make it look like they have two heads, and nobody ever stops laughing.
  777. A universe where hats and hairnets are considered the same kind of object with merely different degrees of density.
  778. A universe where the emperor Elagabalus ended the persecution of Christians in the Roman Empire, complicating their current social positions.
  779. A universe where rhinos rampage until someone ties a balloon to their horn so they could safely travel by ferry.
  780. A universe where fraudsters make money by establishing a false rapport with their victims based on their shared desire to have money.
  781. A universe where grease is Greece’s top export.
  782. A universe where balloon-rhinos are too light and always end up floating to the sky, where they await the invention of celestial ring-toss games.
  783. A universe where the chicken and the egg both popped out of nowhere simultaneously, and the chicken wasn’t sure what to do.
  784. A universe where old videocassettes turn into DVDs of the same film when crushed and recycled.
  785. A universe without any social niceties, but plenty of secure relationships somehow.
  786. A universe where sleepwalking has been properly exploited economically.
  787. A universe where tertiary education is encouraged by agglomerating all schools from elementary to university as a single skyscraper where the elevator only goes down at the top floor.
  788. A universe which operates according to free will.
  789. A universe where people wear clothes made of the objects they carry around, as that is much simpler than putting it all in a purse you have to drag everywhere. This universe may also have slightly different physical laws.
  790. A universe where lab-grown meat is pretty much all bone.
  791. A universe where the state of nature was a terrible time because everyone had to use the barter system.
  792. A universe where the audience members thrown to the lions had to continue fighting, even after Caligula got bored and left the arena.
  793. A universe where dogs wear glasses and chase sun rays rather than laser pointers.
  794. A universe where some people are born with fingers that look like pencils, which makes it hard for them to hold pens.
  795. A universe where all the galaxies are exactly the same.
  796. A universe where the government fought de-industrialization in order to keep down education expenses.
  797. A universe where TV and computer monitors are supposed to be polished.
  798. A universe composed of many different planes of existence, the highest of which is solid diamond.
  799. A universe where alchemists only succeeded in learning how to turn flowers to stone, and used that power to try to cheer up children who were sad over the looming death of their flowers.
  800. A universe where tiny beams of light carry sound through space as a free government service.
  801. A universe where irredentist movements take turns.
  802. A universe where viruses are huge and chase us down the street.
  803. A universe which operates according to determinism, which discovered how to travel to a free-will universe, and both blew up.
  804. A universe where men started wearing dresses when they discovered the fun of hobble-skirt racing.
  805. A universe where people wearing wreaths of fog are much more powerful than those who wear wreaths of laurel, as one is a mere symbol of authority, and the other is created by bending drops of water into a semicircle.
  806. A universe where the paper harvested from birch bark is not used for writing.
  807. A universe where ancient whispers echo louder and louder, until the wind carries the rumor and aliens hear a cackle.
  808. A universe where contemporary art museums play classic cartoons on a loop and have to keep shushing patrons.
  809. A universe where kettles are soundproof to ensure we don’t hear the death cries of bacteria.
  810. A universe where one just does it.
  811. A universe where all domestic aquaria must double as bathtubs and have the necessary safety devices fitted.
  812. A universe where experiments are conducted to categorize things as natural or unnatural.
  813. A universe where irreverent snow acts like rain sometimes, but nobody gets the joke.
  814. A universe where telling someone to keep quiet starts a chain reaction which results in language extinction.
  815. A universe where farmers are brought in to cut the grass during winter, so all will be ready when the snow melts.
  816. A universe where it is considered rude to go out in public without earflaps.
  817. A universe where folk artists start art movements whenever they win the lottery.
  818. A universe where decorative cornices are used to hide contraband acanthus leaves.
  819. A universe where ideas are sentient and therefore a virus.
  820. A universe where the tropics have fluctuating seasons too, due to the existence of fire-summer.
  821. A universe which operates according to free will, which discovered how to travel to a deterministic universe, and rescued all its teen boys.
  822. A universe where infinity mirror headsets are a calming device.
  823. A universe where people draw a giant ‘X’ on their forehead to tell others that they’re like a treasure, but not everyone interprets it that way.
  824. A universe where major cities each have a single lanky flagpole in the town square to make them more distinctive.
  825. A universe where men conserve their used-up hair gel for when they start going bald.
  826. A universe where ships can sail down waterfalls, but can’t adapt to any other surface.
  827. A universe where people are always twirling in the hopes that it will send them into orbit as a new planet.
  828. A universe where ancient humans would bury their dead with monkey skulls in honor of their ancestors.
  829. A universe where the universe is built upon the pixel principle and it is impossible for the placement of two different objects to overlap.
  830. A universe where people die laughing whenever they think of pigs wearing coats or cuckoo clocks ringing like bells.
  831. A universe where concentric circles don’t disappear as they radiate, and they engulf the Earth.
  832. A universe where the glaciers are speeding down to the South Pacific to rescue the people from their own melted discharge.
  833. A universe where cats who look like dogs aren’t dogs pretending to be cats.
  834. A universe where the connection between safety cones and audiovisual media is obvious.
  835. A universe where physicists just say they’re drawing random numbers whenever someone asks.
  836. A universe where people try to breathe underwater as a method of accustoming themselves to breathing in dust.
  837. A universe where Andy Warhol’s lost computer doodles haven’t been sold because it’s far too expensive to buy an Amiga just to display them.
  838. A universe where zoning in and out of consciousness teaches a new dance move, and the performance of the entire dance causes everyone to suddenly start acting like the people of another dimension.
  839. A universe where gigantic titanic intergalactic space stations don’t sell assorted space junk at second hand stores run by seedy aliens.
  840. A universe where people speak gibberish to empower each other’s pre-conceived notions.
  841. A universe where blurry images are refocused by making them even blurrier, as the people of this universe wish they were more amorphous.
  842. A universe where pigs wear coats.
  843. A universe where insect life is sentient and demands that we respectfully dispose of the corpses beneath ceiling light.
  844. A universe where human civilization is drawing a giant smiley face upon the Earth to be polite.
  845. A universe where Lotharingia survived and is famous for its waffle pizzas.
  846. A universe where the world ran out of air and carbonated beverages are vital for opening up the air pockets stuck in pennies.
  847. A universe where cuckoo clocks ring like bells.
  848. A universe where the world has the same washed-out look as serious drama films.
  849. A universe where clam shells are sentient and the flesh they contain is just a decoy.
  850. A universe where people must continuously do somersaults to keep their blood flowing.
  851. A universe where all the klutzes of the world are conspiring to overthrow global goodness by tripping over statues of the saints.
  852. A universe where quizzes are prayers to receive the blessing of the Lord.
  853. A universe where wealthy women never rode sidesaddle, as they would ride with another horse to keep their feet up.
  854. A universe where turgidity is a virtue.
  855. A universe where pictures of friendly dogs and cats become pictures of unfriendly dogs and cats the longer you look at them, and the real dogs and cats who were photographed plead with you to stop so their urges to become unfriendly could subside.
  856. A universe where a great wave appeared to wash away the past the first time the Hittites mentioned Wilusa.
  857. A universe where sleepy people try to stay awake by slapping themselves endlessly, and certain people can never tell when it doesn’t work.
  858. A universe where wallpaper patterns encode your deepest secrets and little girls are masters at suppressing giggles.
  859. A universe where everyone is born with their own horn to toot.
  860. A universe where cats and dogs sometimes switch places with each other.
  861. A universe where the Earth is permeable and the core quite bouncy, and we go through the seasons by continuously jumping to the surface and back.
  862. A universe where life on Titan will be able to have just one big party before the Sun implodes.
  863. A universe where unused air is vacuumed up and replaced with sandbags just in case.
  864. A universe where the SUV drivers were defeated by making SUVs so wasteful that drivers would die after laughing harder and harder for every extra ounce of carbon dioxide they would emit.
  865. A universe where personal air conditioners are powered by air escaping through the pupils.
  866. A universe where children are never given paper folders because they are assumed to think that they have an infinite amount of space.
  867. A universe where people count the seconds to make sure they appreciate art properly at museums.
  868. A universe where you know you’ve made it once you’ve got your own Dorling Kindersley book.
  869. A universe where urban highways are built beneath walkable communities and feature camera feeds showing how nice it would be to live there.
  870. A universe where TV signals were extremely powerful and TV antennas were weather vanes.
  871. A universe where the world map is entirely blue because the world is covered in a shallow puddle.
  872. A universe where moles did in fact use to be people.
  873. A universe where zoological societies dress newly discovered species in animal costumes, to avoid being embarrassed that they hadn’t already discovered them.
  874. A universe where a millipede is a gaggle of centipedes.
  875. A universe where irregular crackerjacks can be returned in exchange for a spiffy toy.
  876. A universe where wars are fought until both sides are decimated and recruiting is a doozy.
  877. A universe where random sounds and words appearing in one’s head are filtered into coherent ideas with Dr. Filligibbel’s sound-word-turning machine.
  878. A universe where Persian carpets are encoded with anti-American propaganda, but nobody outside of Iran could understand their complex symbolism.
  879. A universe where tarantular puppy dogs are never drowned; instead, they’re lent to spiders as a good role model.
  880. A universe where probes are sent to protect asteroids from space-danger in case they harbor life.
  881. A universe where people get used to things without wanting to get used to them.
  882. A universe which used to be inhabited by the gods of ancient polytheist religions, until they were no longer able to make up for their lack of natural resources.
  883. A universe where advanced technologies were purposefully destroyed whenever ancient civilizations sensed that they were about to collapse.
  884. A universe where various dog-like lumps of mud are adopted as pets by sentient trees trying to fit in to human society.
  885. A universe where crazy foxes put on clothes to pull off elaborate hijinks.
  886. A universe where people never get too close together for fear that their auras will glow a new color.
  887. A universe where lizards walk around on their hind legs to show that they could be friendly, too.
  888. A universe where wealthy art collectors put up webcams in their houses so the public can look at the art, and so on.
  889. A universe where spiky helmets are banned for not being fully round and therefore offensive to the Earth.
  890. A universe where ancient labyrinth patterns were much more difficult to solve than modern mazes, as you had to lay a string along the mosaic path without touching the sides.
  891. A universe where chainmail is a fashion accessory as they allow us to walk around dressed in flowers.
  892. A universe where natural language is based on baby talk to facilitate communication with infants earlier in life.
  893. A universe where thermostats are controlled by the central heating bureau.
  894. A universe where the Easter Bunny has a little stork friend to avoid awkward questions, but children just ask why there’s a stork too.
  895. A universe where Russia was not consecrated to the immaculate heart of Mary and a sudden wind did not blow away the global nuclear stockpile.
  896. A universe where cows have convinced zebras to switch places.
  897. A universe where winter is counteracted with laser beams.
  898. A universe where various dead persons are used as props in stop-motion animation, to bolster beliefs in the afterlife.
  899. A universe where the United Kingdom declared itself a republic and the monarch continued to rule her realms from her private residences in Britain.
  900. A universe where belly rubbing is a friendly way to say hello to people who meet you and would like you to rub their bellies.
  901. A universe where none of the planets are habitable, though the stars are, and some very angry fellows live there, but it’s not possible for them to come to our own universe, fortunately.
  902. A universe where lava lamps are used to brine pickles.
  903. A universe where Teddy Roosevelt hated teddy bears because they made it harder for him to repress his feelings.
  904. A universe where procrastination opens the portal to another universe you’ve got to explore.
  905. A universe where ‘blue glue’ does not rhyme in English due to the lack of poetic glue in this universe.
  906. A universe where consumer goods are not required to recite Tennyson as they do their thing, but they do anyways.
  907. A universe where passports are covered with smiley faces, in order to make them funny passports.
  908. A universe where the Earth is ruled by people whose glasses don’t need to be supported from their ears, as it makes them better fighters.
  909. A universe where hurricanes are counteracted by waving a fan on the other end of the world.
  910. A universe where laboratories spend most of their funding on developing glass beakers which change colors when their contents undergo chemical changes, which are used to sabotage rival labs.
  911. A universe where humans are trying to reshape the universe in our own image, and is currently connecting all the planets of the solar system to form a necklace.
  912. A universe where the world is awash in underground ink oceans and pens are a natural product, and nobody wonders where the ink came from, so the octopus is still stuck.
  913. A universe where large bills are broken up in order to give exact change, and people never get rid of pocket lint for fear that it’s actually seventy-four cents.
  914. A universe where graffiti artists dedicate their lives to the struggle against damnatio memoriae.
  915. A universe where the dodo was brought back to life by filling the holes in its genetic code with frog DNA.
  916. A universe where Eurocentric standards of beauty are part of a devious ploy to push down the birthrate.
  917. A universe where everything is made of two repellant substances which are constantly battling, and house fires are chronic because people are used to seeing unexpected sparks.
  918. A universe where fundamentalist Christians view mainstream Christians as heretical because they do not use bibles written on papyrus scrolls.
  919. A universe where every word is spelt “cat” and meaning is deduced by context.
  920. A universe where cute little animals play around in mud to look like ugly pigs, but it doesn’t work.
  921. A universe where buildings are designed to evolve into ant colonies as they get deeper into the Earth, to aid ants in their quest for sentience.
  922. A universe where freezing rain is actually just above the freezing point.
  923. A universe where sexuality is absolutely objectified and the posh walk around with fleshy boas.
  924. A universe where people walk around bowlegged, in case someone needs to scoot under.
  925. A universe where happy puppets spring out whenever you open a cabinet door.
  926. A universe where another star is very close to our Sun and the apocalypse happens whenever we switch orbits.
  927. A universe where everything is like a giant sponge as there is no real division between space, star, and planet.
  928. A universe where sheds are filled with leaves in case the rakes get bored.
  929. A universe where the curtain walls of medieval fortresses were reassembled by hanging the stones from an encircling rafter with string.
  930. A universe where the past was in black and white because babies were given dog eye transplants at birth.
  931. A universe where shipwrecked sailors are discouraged from sending messages in bottles, because they block pipes.
  932. A universe where everyone knows the meaning of life but people still get depressed for some reason.
  933. A universe where glow-in-the dark sticks are never left in a closet, for fear that someone will go in and think they’re a skeleton, rather than the real skeleton behind all the dresses.
  934. A universe where people drive around on motorized unicycles and park in sewer grates, and little dogs can never go out anymore because there are sewers everywhere.
  935. A universe where post-it notes are used as wallpaper so people could write on the walls with a clear conscience.
  936. A universe where villains trick their enemies into putting themselves in suspended animation to make their daughters feel better.
  937. A universe where lonely people tend to cluster in the same locations without talking to each other.
  938. A universe where the Sun sends us fireworks to celebrate the new year, but nobody is ever happy to see them.
  939. A universe where people save money on water pipes by using elaborate machines to shoot water at incredible pressures.
  940. A universe where special little guys tend to be pretty cocky.
  941. A universe where cave paintings were drawn by people who had gotten lost and couldn’t get out.
  942. A universe where the US gov’t keeps the price of synthetic oil high out of fear of retaliation from the gulf states.
  943. A universe where people skip from calendar to calendar to avoid ending years which they particularly enjoyed.
  944. A universe where fraudsters steal people’s houses by placing their own stone dragons at the entrance.
  945. A universe where adults rue their childhood selves for designing their dream house without an elevator.
  946. A universe where monastic communities are not the object of widespread ridicule.
  947. A universe where people jump into black holes to become one with the universe.
  948. A universe where prized geometric patterns are copied so much that they overwhelm the Earth.
  949. A universe where the world reached a stable population at about two billion and the world is covered with pastoral gardens, as everyone also likes sheep, apparently.
  950. A universe where the different levels of duplexes are built with large stilts in between them, in case the owner wants to make it a triplex.
  951. A universe where the melted runoff from taking a shower is sold to skin restoration clinics.
  952. A universe where the dead are embalmed and displayed as animatronics at certain themed amusement parks.
  953. A universe where government rebels concentrate on corking the tips of chain-link fences.
  954. A universe where senior discounts are banned by a blanket law against discrimination.
  955. A universe where high-heels have springs to allow women to walk more easily, according to the theory.
  956. A universe where an infinite amount of people doodle for an infinite amount of time and it’s not the same thing over and over again.
  957. A universe where corpses are disposed of by tying them to balloons.
  958. A universe where people wear wigs to cover all areas of their body which lack hair, even the inside of a nose.
  959. A universe where the number ten is unlucky, and the superstitious are very successful due to their highly developed math skills.
  960. A universe where simulated realities simulate cartoons, to achieve the common desire of this universe to achieve the omniscience of the second dimension.
  961. A universe where giant slugs became the sentient species of the Earth, as the extremely nimble muscles which line their body allow them to manipulate physical items with greater dexterity than hands or feet.
  962. A universe where all black sheets of paper must be finely shaded, in case it will one day become the only surviving work of art.
  963. A universe where people dangle bracelets on their fingers to tease their other arm, which sometimes comes to life and says hello.
  964. A universe where self-aware irony is a modern development.
  965. A universe where sonic trains are powered by the passengers all humming along happily.
  966. A universe where everyone dresses as a pirate and people with poor vision use telescopes.
  967. A universe where Angelic Sign Language uses tongues instead of arms.
  968. A universe where monarchy was abolished when the royal fans along the seashore failed.
  969. A universe where sidewalks are lineographic.
  970. A universe where television studios cut costs by broadcasting theatre performances which have been digitally enhanced to resemble television shows.
  971. A universe where curfews can only be legally enforced with sleeping gas, so they’re impossible to enforce.
  972. A universe where the atmosphere doesn’t crash down to the Earth due to various people blowing upwards from tall mountains.
  973. A universe where reality is incomprehensible to all but those who do not care.
  974. A universe where the Looney Tunes are retroactively spelt according to one’s deepest desires.
  975. A universe where vaudevillian comedy was built around comparing male audience members to bacteria.
  976. A universe where Dali was upset that nobody thought to inspect the tip of his moustache with a microscope to see what delights his genius bacteria had created.
  977. A universe where art awards are given to those who are able to create the best designs on snowflakes before they melt.
  978. A universe where fast food restaurants must supply branding irons so the employees may hide the inappropriately-shaped burns they get.
  979. A universe where alien monsters look like humans with horrible personalities.
  980. A universe where large majorities find the concept of family abhorrent.
  981. A universe where life also evolved from lava and the world is intersected with lava worlds and water worlds.
  982. A universe where bus stops have buttons which allow you to get the bus there faster, and it’s turning out to be a better source of energy than gas.
  983. A universe where the sales of clipboards went up dramatically due to all the exposure they got in Microsoft Word.
  984. A universe where microbes always try to infect us because they think it will get them back to the ocean.
  985. A universe where plastic flowers keep their bloom even if they’re not planted in a pot of crushed vitamin pills.
  986. A universe where people wear adaptor mouths to facilitate pronouncing the sounds of other languages.
  987. A universe where advertising is failure, as nobody runs out to buy their products after seeing an ad.
  988. A universe where silly little animals always jump and frolic before the kill.
  989. A universe where knives have very long teeth to trick people into thinking they’re forks.
  990. A universe where anything can happen as long as you believe.
  991. A universe where electricity is transmitted through the steam of steam engines.
  992. A universe where the people and the state keep each other in check with a network of double-sided barricades.
  993. A universe where construction sites in impoverished neighborhoods must be free for children to play in, to promote economic growth in such areas, as well as to save money on playgrounds.
  994. A universe where triangles are categorized according to how well they become circles, and all scientific principles are based upon this.
  995. A universe where triangles which have been badly bent are discarded as heretical chiliagons.
  996. A universe where all novels are first published as non-fiction, to create work for fact-checking journalists.
  997. A universe where puffing up your chest is just about all you need to do.
  998. A universe where the Venus of Cnidus had her robe on.
  999. A universe where a conspiracy theory becomes true once it has been uttered.
  1000. A universe where people freeze their hats in summer instead of wearing tee-shirts.
  1001. A universe where every inhabitable planet must use its own unique map projection, because the planets each face different geopolitical realities.
  1002. A universe where lenticular clouds are never mistaken for UFOS, because everyone knows the magical ladies who use them to travel the world, and they fondly remember their adventures together.
  1003. A universe where carriages are giant wheels with the passengers strapped inside, because after inventing the wheel we were too exhausted to do anything else.
  1004. A universe where cubists would cut up their artworks and rearrange them to keep up with changing tastes.
  1005. A universe where holes are bored into the earth by piling apples on top of each other until the weight crushes the ground below, and holes are never actually bored.
  1006. A universe where humans breathe by laughing.
  1007. A universe where people live in snow houses by building houses with no roofs.
  1008. A universe where the stars always draw the curtains closed in order to spite us.
  1009. A universe where the Medieval Church sold giant needle eyes rather than indulgences.
  1010. A universe where Earth has sentient life because it is a frontier post guarding the Milky Way from an aggressive galaxy just beyond.
  1011. A universe where elite suburbs are full of nothing but bungalow penthouse suites.
  1012. A universe where outie belly buttons are adorned with jewels to make them even outier.
  1013. A universe where fantasies of dancing elephants are the only ones which come true.
  1014. A universe without death but a lot of thumb-twiddling.
  1015. A universe where the Sahara was de-desertified and the world got too much oxygen.
  1016. A universe where hate groups are tolerated as long as they admit to feeling a grudging admiration for the people they hate.
  1017. A universe where the harmonious activities of the soul are threatened by jerky walking.
  1018. A universe where everyone is an artist and broadcast TV failed because people preferred the abstract images produced by vacuum tubes.
  1019. A universe where tables are petrified elephant pelts taken from elephants who died while lying on square rocks.
  1020. A universe where dada was a secret club created by self-loathing academic artists.
  1021. A universe where social conservatives never plant trees with neuter genders.
  1022. A universe where oozing cracks in boxes are repaired by slowly turning them inside-out.
  1023. A universe where humans wear giant metal claws in an attempt to impress animals.
  1024. A universe where rain falls down as a single sheet.
  1025. A universe where giant clumps of matter which tumble down from the sky are never touched in case they’re capsules containing anti-matter.
  1026. A universe where time travel is only possible by traveling to other universes (most other universes are actually able to turn back time).
  1027. A universe where cash has been given the gift of life in order to encourage the use of payment cards, because sentient coins and banknotes cannot be used as a means of exchange; they insist upon parading down the sidewalk instead.
  1028. A universe where Lent was a conspiracy cooked up by the heathens to make more meat available for themselves.
  1029. A universe where bulls just want to be ridden.
  1030. A universe where wolves and wildcats control humanity by periodically sending in new members of their species to be domesticated.
  1031. A universe where snorkels are fed to whales.
  1032. A universe where people give each other funny hats when they see they’re sad, and punch each other when it’s given back.
  1033. A universe where aerosols don’t exist because spray cans are made of many tiny straws.
  1034. A universe where asteroids orbited the Sun a bit too closely and melded together to enclose it, and the Earth gets heat but has no light.
  1035. A universe where scientists don’t know the true size of the universe because it is completely surrounded by mirrors.
  1036. A universe where the table cloth is inlaid on top of the table but you have to buy a new one anyways.
  1037. A universe where fast-talking persons never wear scarves, for fear that someone will think they want to pull the wool over their eyes.
  1038. A universe where chimneys are built slanted on rooftops to bolster children’s self-esteem.
  1039. A universe where mountains are airlifted as giant hammers to be used in wartime.
  1040. A universe where people recite cue cards to each other until they disagree with what they’re saying, as a way to start conversations.
  1041. A universe where a single global culture has been created by cross-translating the works of all classical languages.
  1042. A universe where seesaws used to be used to cut wood until all the accidents got to be too much.
  1043. A universe where the following sequence rhymes with a meaningful phrase: werjd fksdel vktess.
  1044. A universe where the people are all flat, but some are flat sideways and others are flat frontways, so it really doesn’t make it any easier to pack them into a suitcase.
  1045. A universe where voluntourists do their thing by creeping out at night to sneak a dollar or two in the crevices of furniture, and then disappear without a trace.
  1046. A universe where tapestries are misplaced blankets.
  1047. A universe where people eat comfort food all the time so they never ever feel bad.
  1048. A universe where some funny looking object is used to carry out some funny little function we can’t comprehend; it’s likely that this object is used to remove bone matter from trash cans, to be recycled for medical supplies; however, the conversations people carry out while using this object betray a great deal of contempt for other people, which makes it questionable whether they would really be interested in recycling bone matter for medical supplies; furthermore, bones do not exist in this society, and there is a slight chance that the buildings at the center of every town are not actually portals to another universe.
  1049. A universe where spam is used to spread updates to the viruses already installed on one’s computer.
  1050. A universe where ice palaces are created by reassembling the evaporated water of normal palaces.
  1051. A universe where citizens are legally required to own guns, to protect themselves against government tyranny.
  1052. A universe where one inch is equal to a 5 grams, which itself may be equal to a gallon, depending on how exactly volumes and weights keep switching places with one another.
  1053. A universe where aprons have slits to improve mobility.
  1054. A universe where sprinklers spray dust at all times in case someone nearby needs a diversion.
  1055. A universe where human space travel is not a space anomaly.
  1056. A universe where everyone is evil.
  1057. A universe where people who wear purple clothes are intimidated with jars of blue paint left on their doorstep.
  1058. A universe where punctuative gangsters modify texts to start wars.
  1059. A universe where corrections to a draft text are erased by premature purists.
  1060. A universe where dogs try to grow very long tails so we don’t have to use leashes.
  1061. A universe where sheds are often mistaken for cozy little homes because they all are very nicely decorated.
  1062. A universe where television stations sell airtime to narcissists rather than signing off for the night.
  1063. A universe where all new exotic cereal grains need to be advertised as a new kind of rice for consumers to even sniff them.
  1064. A universe where merfolk are real and reproduce by convincing humans and fish to fall in love.
  1065. A universe where modern artists invent new religions in order for their subject matter to be consistent with past movements.
  1066. A universe where Harold won the Battle of Hastings and English became much more latinate during the Renaissance than it did in our own universe.
  1067. A universe where everything is absolutely fine, but there’s this one silver atom floating in the middle of your room which simply won’t budge.
  1068. A universe where sentient animals are trying to play a trick on another universe, which has replaced all non-human life with robots which are better at collecting pollen and such.
  1069. A universe where rice cookers are operated by heating them on stoves.
  1070. A universe where Couperin once whispered something to Rameau that turned him deathly white, and that is why you are terrified of masks in this universe, even if you’ve never heard of either men.
  1071. A universe where chickens who wish to escape focus their energies upon learning how to bark instead of clucking.
  1072. A universe where every second person is evil.
  1073. A universe where toy trains are designed to run along the grooves between floor tiles.
  1074. A universe where lake Titicaca means what it sounds like.
  1075. A universe where gazebos are repurposed from the destitute to meet the rustic requirements of public parks.
  1076. A universe where people try to walk in the fetal position and have to use self-operated baby strollers.
  1077. A universe where hyperinflation is fought by raising the production of cheap socks to a faster rate than printing money.
  1078. A universe where Stalin outfoxed de-Stalinization, by ensuring that his followers would place a dummy in his tomb and display the real body as a statue.
  1079. A universe where those who draft artists’ impressions were robbed of their livelihood when the Kepler space telescope got a Retina display.
  1080. A universe where the Archimedean screw never caught on because attempts to make holes in sand with turrid shells had failed.
  1081. A universe where latinate words are pluralized in English as if they were French.
  1082. A universe where people who want to avoid doing strenuous work wrap delicate leaves around their arms, which they have to preserve if they want to tell time.
  1083. A universe where all the galaxies have been crumpled together.
  1084. A universe where a giant water moon orbits a giant fire planet, and sometimes fire and water leak out and destroy each other in the space in between, which causes both to slowly deplete.
  1085. A universe where we must consult with the microbial organisms which constitute our bodies before making any decision.
  1086. A universe where all cell phones are belt buckles, to compel people to pull their pants up.
  1087. A universe where the planets are not all made of corpses, thankfully (though it is likely that there are a few where that is so); the planets of this universe are, however, made of other unpleasant substances, such as cod liver oil.
  1088. A universe where, legally speaking, women’s pants are classified as very tight leg skirts.
  1089. A universe where Greeks insist on speaking Greek whenever they visit the Middle East.
  1090. A universe where the people are evil but have a change of heart half-way through their lives.
  1091. A universe where people stick their fingers into whatever hole they see, in case the floor collapses under them, which often happens in this universe, due to the giant termites who never cease to prowl beneath their tree houses.
  1092. A universe where secret codes encrypted in sequences of colorful dots are used to undermine logical thinking.
  1093. A universe where cars drive on toboggans during winter.
  1094. A universe where people live in hobbit holes as a way to attract wizards, and they come, but all they want to do is hide in the pantry.
  1095. A universe where governments regulate bomb size as a means of fighting terrorism.
  1096. A universe where parquet floors are supposed to be reassembled.
  1097. A universe where snow dogs are just regular dogs who roll around in snow rather than mud.
  1098. A universe where anti-corporatist activists tattoo company logos onto their forehead to frame corporations.
  1099. A universe where pigeons are not considered a pest because they provide humans with whitewashing services.
  1100. A universe where little toes are dressed in big toe costumes, to see what kind of effect it would have on human evolution.
  1101. A universe where midlife crises are solved by trying to live without continuity.
  1102. A universe where Pluto is still considered a planet for the heck of it.
  1103. A universe where humans try to take care of the Earth, by using rolling pins to make it perfectly smooth.
  1104. A universe where craters are avidly searched for to be used as skate parks.
  1105. A universe where nobody is evil, just upset.
  1106. A universe where dogs think humans are rude because they don’t have floppy ears.
  1107. A universe where dial-up internet connections are used to fight internet addiction.
  1108. A universe where airships endured as a method of transportation, because they used helium as fuel and passengers were lodged in the balloon.
  1109. A universe where websites fill empty spaces with marginalia, which just slows everything down.
  1110. A universe where milestones are celebrated joyfully, by using milestones as millstones to grind the grain which will be used for baking celebratory pastries.
  1111. A universe where very tall exterior escalators don’t go nowhere, because they’re built jointly with other very tall exterior escalators, both of which go up.
  1112. A universe where people always had to whisper in each other’s ears until vocal cord microphones were invented.
  1113. A universe where martyrdom is a method of population control.
  1114. A universe where cubes are ripped apart to produce imitation irregular spheres.
  1115. A universe where nothing matters because everything is just a variation of colors, sounds, smells, and sensations.
  1116. A universe where everything would be fine if only cakes were divided according to the peace symbol.
  1117. A universe where the economy is moribund, because everyone wastes time trying to act like a robot.
  1118. A universe where snowdrifts are filtered to recycle the salt.
  1119. A universe where non-human animals have tried to build great cities to give us as tribute, but only termites have succeeded in constructing edifices which meet our architectural tastes, and so our wrath is as strong as ever, but we don’t eat termites.
  1120. A universe where churches have no money problems because exterior crosses are used as broadcast antennae.
  1121. A universe where people identify themselves by saying their name, and whoever they’re talking to identifies them according to their vocal pitch, as everyone here has the same name (Charles).
  1122. A universe where a single dinosaur in what is now the Southern Indian ocean survived the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event.
  1123. A universe where walls are all foot-wide cabinets to promote total minimalism.
  1124. A universe where nobody ever slides down slanted roofs for some reason.
  1125. A universe where dialects have developed nuclear weapons, but they only managed to build one and they forgot that languages have navies too.
  1126. A universe where everyone is given a single piece of clothing at birth, which is adapted to body growth by loosening the seams until it becomes a loincloth by adulthood.
  1127. A universe where people use their imaginations so they never need to buy anything but virtual reality goggles.
  1128. A universe where people carry flashlights to use when walking home after dark.
  1129. A universe where people use their heads as paint brushes to dye each other’s hair.
  1130. A universe where underground networks connecting subway stations and malls are patrolled by animatronic dwarves.
  1131. A universe where the following sequence of characters has a very profound meaning: .
  1132. A universe where it’s a faux pas to keep a photo a friend has given to you, as you’re supposed to give it back on loan; that way, you have to come see your photo from time to time, and if you keep it, it implies that you never want to see your friend again.
  1133. A universe where money consists of tiny grains of a country’s top export and prices are expressed in weight.
  1134. A universe where astronomy has experienced a great boom due to the invention of microscopic telescopes, which are much more efficient than regular telescopes because of their grit and determination.
  1135. A universe where advanced CGI technology has made film acting obsolete but triggered a spike in popularity for 19th century novels, whose automatically generated video adaptations are fantastic to binge-watch.
  1136. A universe where people use astroturf carpets to pretend they’re outdoors when they’re at the office, and it works, somehow, despite the fluorescent lights.
  1137. A universe where political persons are very staid fellows.
  1138. A universe where handkerchiefs are prominently displayed to show off who has the most virile nose, and have never gone out of style for that reason.
  1139. A universe where characters who break the fourth wall are trapped for all eternity.
  1140. A universe where humans have tried to build great space ships to give to hypothetical aliens as tribute, but neither the technology nor the art will ever satisfy them, and so they shall continue to glare at us in their wrath forever more.
  1141. A universe where twitchy arms don’t know how to dance.
  1142. A universe where bees which hum with the sound of wasps make things very confusing for those who dedicate their lives to bees but not wasps.
  1143. A universe where people wear masks to cover half their face, in case a little devil should ever appear on their shoulder.
  1144. A universe where walnut shells are moistened in an attempt to make them edible, as people like to think they’re delicious.
  1145. A universe where little barriers protect snails from crawling onto the street.
  1146. A universe where the kingdom was lost because the people were addicted to collecting nails.
  1147. A universe where humans are trying to make contact with extra-terrestrial life, by blasting a cacophony at them in the hopes that they’ll tell us to shut up, but have not considered the possibility that space aliens may like listening to cacophonous music.
  1148. A universe where people gargle with salt and water to get around dietary restrictions.
  1149. A universe where stars are members of a super-advanced species which lives off of aether.
  1150. A universe where all universes are ranked, and ours comes out on top whenever Cablorg is on duty.
  1151. A universe where rain causes the color from chalk to spill into the environment, which is mostly a bad thing.
  1152. A universe where urban homelessness is kept down by building dedicated lanes on highways.
  1153. A universe where it is considered plagiarism for a human to produce an animal sound.
  1154. A universe where boisterous persons always make sure to pet little mice very carefully.
  1155. A universe where a giant donut ate you, but only after you were shot by an elk who’s been having a long-standing dispute with your owner, Mr. Dog.
  1156. A universe where the Earth is a big jigsaw puzzle set out for our enjoyment.
  1157. A universe where people’s vision continuously stretches and compacts, making it impossible for the movies of this universe to have a consistent aspect ratio.
  1158. A universe where do-gooders anticipate the various accommodations that less able people may need, by continuously beeping and waving their arms according to patterns they’ve just made up.
  1159. A universe where there’s a town for every lifestyle, and nobody gets sick of it.
  1160. A universe where the term ‘blue screen of death’ refers to the divider all funeral parlors use to separate the living from the dead.
  1161. A universe where a race of microbes scour the world in search of sad-looking inanimate objects they would like to animate.
  1162. A universe where infinite lists of parallel universes are vetted by scientific authorities to confirm that they really exist.
  1163. A universe where Gothic cathedrals were built in the hopes that livestock would look up and be inspired to evolve into waterspouts.
  1164. A universe where large cities inflate their population numbers with blow-up dolls and they cause tremendous car crashes.
  1165. A universe where people brag by talking about how many floors they’ve swept.
  1166. A universe where slugs are drunk for the excellent taste they have in this one universe.
  1167. A single universe where when people die, their consciousness is uploaded to another planet.
  1168. A universe where public nudity is illegal and naturists have to settle for wearing wrinkled clothes.
  1169. A universe where yachts are banned to discourage extravagant spending, and it works, as buying a bungalow to be a doghouse is much cheaper than buying a yacht.
  1170. A universe where liquid fire is very hard to tell apart from water.
  1171. A universe where the Earth is the only planet to support life, because all planets are a cosmic being’s lava flasks and she forgot to make a hole in this one.
  1172. A universe where the North Pole is the only place where people are able to stand naturally, and the invention of the rope was of greater consequence than the discovery of fire.
  1173. A universe where apartment buildings award the best apartment to the best-behaved tenant.
  1174. A universe where resourceful persons reuse their roof tiles as floor tiles and live in the basement.
  1175. A universe where the Little Prince kept on returning to his planet every time he came to Earth and found no sheep to shake hands with.
  1176. A universe where parents build their children’s beds with egg cartons so they could jump on them as much as they like.
  1177. A universe where tool cutting is a very delicate skill as the sparks always focus on a single spot.
  1178. A universe where feather down jackets will one day be stuffed and displayed as the fossilized stomach of a creature which apparently ate feathers; or rather, ate everything but the feathers; naturalists debate whether or not zippers were powerful enough to chew bird flesh.
  1179. A universe where ancient pillows are priceless due to the extreme comfort they provide, which really is fantastic, as the dodo went extinct to supply their feathers.
  1180. A universe where speed bumps get worn down if you drive even faster.
  1181. A universe where apartment bedrooms have a hole in the ceiling so you could say good morning to your neighbor, and you are both very pleased about this.
  1182. A universe where computer graphics technology has discovered and simulated several new dimensions.
  1183. A universe where 1984 happened, and people forgot how to make up new words to express new ideas.
  1184. A universe where people eat with their hands because forks are used as the prongs of electrical cords.
  1185. A universe where cardboard walls are painted to look like bricks when they are used to replace bricks.
  1186. A universe where humans use bee dancing to remove inconvenient bee hives.
  1187. A universe where the world is awash in cutesy tomfoolery, such as quacking children and barking lords.
  1188. A universe where men wear human peacock feathers.
  1189. A universe where Mayan texts were never destroyed and are part of the Western Canon.
  1190. A universe where weaving is so popular that people think that the similarly colored objects they see are linked together, and follow the threads to find shortcuts.
  1191. A universe where electric devices are powered by plasma lamps.
  1192. A universe where everyone will become a zombie when you die.
  1193. A universe where dogs jump up on their hind legs to try crushing nuts.
  1194. A universe where clumps of atoms are used instead of door beads.
  1195. A universe where smiling twins do not frown simultaneously.
  1196. A universe where spinning tops always mimic the rotation of the Earth around the sun.
  1197. A universe nobody can ever stop talking about the loss of “Leave” in the Brexit Referendum.
  1198. A universe where the little people sometimes pretend to be dolls so they could play with us.
  1199. A universe where all characters in a movie wear papier-mâché heads.
  1200. A universe where blinking is the main form of communication and vocalization is a lung exercise.
  1201. A universe where stalactites are sentient, but stalagmites aren’t, and stalactites try to say hello to stalagmites and wonder why they don’t respond.
  1202. A universe where you readily admit that other people are more reasonable than you.
  1203. A universe where gold-painted gate tips are painted black instead of introducing a progressive income tax; it’s a compromise, apparently.
  1204. A universe where the Queen’s chief task is to record every single word in the English language, to set standard pronunciation.
  1205. A universe where secret messages are screamed very loudly so as not to seem suspicious.
  1206. A universe where an animal exists which has a massively long under lip and sits on elephants to steal their food.
  1207. A universe where everyone has telepathic powers so they have to coat everything with an impenetrable wax.
  1208. A universe where grey goo destroyed the world by forming many giant Pac-men.
  1209. A universe where all the places you’ve been to will undergo a radical makeover once you die.
  1210. A universe where whoever invented the clock claimed that children sniff their nose according to a fixed rhythm, as a way to avoid having to invent the clock.
  1211. A universe where the Milky Way is sentient and doesn’t realize that the galaxy it has a crush on is a computer, but we know.
  1212. A universe where spolia are returned to their original owner.
  1213. A universe where Moloch was just an excuse.
  1214. A universe where Mars has been terraformed successfully and it caused an extinction event.
  1215. A universe where people enter the first dimension by stretching out trapezoids.
  1216. A universe where cats sit on pillars to pretend to be critters which do not sit on pillars.
  1217. A universe where people use such florid language that nobody ever understands what anyone else is saying (except when they’re talking about flowers).
  1218. A universe where humans are giants and live in Polly Pocket houses.
  1219. A universe where the leaders of Europe responded to the revolutions of 1848 by offering every job its own crown.
  1220. A universe where dandelions are sentient and selfless and suicidal.
  1221. A universe where pariah dictatorships stay in power so foreign tourists will continue to have an unspoiled vacation spot.
  1222. A universe where your parent’s generation will remain in power until the day they die.
  1223. A universe where all of creation outside the view of random people suddenly vanishes sometimes, and then it all comes back, but with different hats.
  1224. A universe where Amenhotep III sent reinforcements to Abdi-Heba and nobody ever believed in God, who cried.
  1225. A universe where Vermeer didn’t leave a sketchbook of all the paintings he never got to do.
  1226. A universe where stalagmites are sentient, but stalactites aren’t, and stalagmites don’t understand why the stalactites keep spitting on them; they find it very annoying and wet.
  1227. A universe where some of the dinosaurs survived by adapting to a fire-based diet.
  1228. A universe where recursive smiles are never frowns, but recursive frowns are sometimes neutral.
  1229. A universe where the people of the High Middle Ages were either very tall or walked around on stilts.
  1230. A universe where ex-marks mean check-marks and check-marks mean ex-marks, and everyone’s confused by that, though it has always been the situation here.
  1231. A universe where all the lost kings of the world party together and turn the volume up whenever their kingdom’s in trouble.
  1232. A universe where people wear body-concealing garments to make it more exciting when they spin around quickly.
  1233. A universe where people fight sleepiness by going to bed with boxing gloves, as “sleepiness” means something else in this universe.
  1234. A universe where poisons are poured into the oceans in small quantities to help the fish build immunity to everything else that we put in there.
  1235. A universe where kayaks are arranged at the annual jamboree to spell out the word ‘bad’.
  1236. A universe where the quays of the Earth are always brimming with the fruit of its bounty.
  1237. A universe where a fire consumed the world and left a shiny diamond in its stead, which is a lot of fun to skate on.
  1238. A universe with super-strong aliens who really want to visit the previous universe.
  1239. A universe where every planet hosts only a single person each, and they are constantly clapping in the hopes that someone will respond someday.
  1240. A universe where chiaroscuro covers the parts of the painting the artist didn’t like.
  1241. A universe where journalists have learned how to talk to animals so they can get the scoop on dog whistles.
  1242. A universe where the Earth is embroiled in a civil war against an impatient group which is always putting wedges between tectonic plates and pulling at shorelines.
  1243. A universe where Claudius’ first move after being declared emperor was to announce gladiatorial games, in memory of the audience members Caligula had sent to fight gladiatorial games.
  1244. A universe where balloon mountains sometimes pop, but it never harms anybody (it’s often pretty fun, in fact).
  1245. A universe where various disgusting things are even more disgusting than a vat of ice cream floating in a sea of mud.
  1246. A universe where both stalagmites and stalactites are sentient, but pretend that they’re not, because they find the other to be very boring.
  1247. A universe where lace is the single most indispensable tool.
  1248. A universe where people always act like they’re in a play, in case someone is watching who likes to eat movie stars.
  1249. A universe made of pure imagination and whimsical trees borrowed from another universe.
  1250. A universe where pigs roll their eyes whenever braided girls try to develop a rapport.
  1251. A universe where books are scanned into computers by shredding them into specs of dust and then reconstructing the image with software, as digital scanners aren’t very big.
  1252. A universe where very tall flowers dress themselves as trees out of embarrassment at having gotten so tall.
  1253. A universe where silent people try to shut up loud people, but cannot.
  1254. A universe where suburban houses were built to look like castles before second-wave feminism.
  1255. A universe where it’s the humans who want to fit in with animals.
  1256. A universe where people eat a bag of sugar every morning so they won’t be tempted to eat more during the day.
  1257. A universe where fishing rods do not have hooks, to avoid hurting the fish.
  1258. A universe where the book of the dead is used to revive the recently deceased, and nobody minds that they’re technically zombies.
  1259. A universe where plants are sentient and trellises are flower stocks.
  1260. A universe where ants are building extensive underground tunnels in order to cause human civilization to collapse, which will allow them to displace us.
  1261. A universe where the Pope licks a prayer card to see if an image will appear, instead of conducting canonizations.
  1262. A universe where prison doors all have mirrors on them to make sure someone is always blocking the way.
  1263. A universe where empty buckets of salt are filled with sugar and people cut paths through snow by eating it.
  1264. A universe where human technology has focused on learning how to breed trees to have melded leaves, so they won’t have to build houses.
  1265. A universe where unwanted children are abandoned on tiny asteroids.
  1266. A universe where biblical fanatics don’t have the constitution to live in tropical regions, as they suffer from anxious heart attacks whenever the monsoon begins.
  1267. A universe where people schedule themselves day-long breaks on purpose.
  1268. A universe where people stagger around all the time, as being able to afford alcohol is a sign of wealth.
  1269. A universe where ostriches stick their head in the sand to look for whale carcasses, in the hopes that they might have snorkels inside which will allow them to keep their head in the sand long-term.
  1270. A universe where all life forms have hive minds and actively think about the future of their species, rather than just their own offspring.
  1271. A universe where the invention of money has severely reduced the Earth’s rotational speed.
  1272. A universe where the world is a giant freezer to prevent matter from melting.
  1273. A universe where parking lots are categorized as rock gardens in order to be considered a green space.
  1274. A universe where Egyptians peasants revolted because they felt that obelisks rubbed their illiteracy in their faces, and they really wanted to know what was written on them.
  1275. A universe where player pianos won the format war with the phonograph, and all recorded sounds today must be written as a ditty.
  1276. A universe where tigers attack human settlements to steal our lion skins, to be used in taking over lion society.
  1277. A universe where it is physically impossible, and not just mathematically impossible, to divide something in three, and whenever someone tries scientists slap their wrists away.
  1278. A universe where babies are used as hand puppets for other babies.
  1279. A universe where raised dots on socks are a significant source of sock dot lint.
  1280. A universe where Superman is real but his cape is slightly different.
  1281. A universe where mimicking monkeys have accidentally achieved sentience.
  1282. A universe where the airplane was a failure because saboteurs from airship companies secretly installed hinges so they would no longer be rigid.
  1283. A universe where freezing is considered to be the solution to every problem, such as volcanic eruptions and unpleasant social calls.
  1284. A universe where scientists have learned how to create edible plastics, to allow the figurines on top of wedding cakes to be eaten.
  1285. A universe where every star and planet is slowly converging to create a single massive solar system where all life forms will live in harmony.
  1286. A universe where people drink water while holding coke in the other hand, to trick their body into thinking that they’re about to drink coke.
  1287. A universe where bad coffee is spelled with a K, and you must send a letter to coffee producers instructing them to change their name whenever you drink bad coffee.
  1288. A universe where all movies ever made are about a pair of manic-depressive guppies living in a suburban fishbowl, and nobody has ever attempted to make a movie about another topic as the guppy films are all of exceptional quality.
  1289. A universe where slowly chewing an apple is a conversation starter, but is otherwise the same as it is in our own universe.
  1290. A universe where cats cannot resist the temptation of fish-flavored cats.
  1291. A universe where spider webs are impounded to reduce antibiotic dependence.
  1292. A universe where cropping photos taken with oval camera apertures is decried as censorship.
  1293. A universe where words rhyme only if they rhyme with the word “rhyme.”
  1294. A universe where people slather themselves in hot wax in winter.
  1295. A universe where men just squeeze their facial hair together rather than shaving, which frightens them.
  1296. A universe where various different organizations hold a running of the rats, with different symbolic meanings.
  1297. A universe where photography is illegal as it functions by sending objects into the second dimension and then taking a photo there.
  1298. A universe where people replace their hearts with artificial devices so they could wear their real one as a hat, and some even wear it on their sleeves; both manners of displaying the heart connote the same idea.
  1299. A universe where pets notice nudity.
  1300. A universe where digital technology never became ubiquitous, because the analog companies spearheaded the drive for advancement and then monopolized the patents, to make sure that they would never have any competition.
  1301. A universe where the ground never succeeds in bouncing us up in the air, though it really does try.
  1302. A universe where people with horns on their head smile all the time to try showing that they’re not evil.
  1303. A universe where civilization advanced by discovering how to make tools from stones of ever greater densities.
  1304. A universe where the blood extracted from a squashed mosquito is used to supplement blood transfusions, and the person from whom the blood originated is properly reimbursed.
  1305. A universe where every house has an escape route connected to some other house so the inhabitants can escape bleak lives; but if they don’t know whoever lives there, they have to turn back.
  1306. A universe where the need to build a deus ex machina suddenly disappeared.
  1307. A universe where only the feet of foreign diplomats have extraterritoriality, to ensure that they’re protected wherever they walk, and most diplomatic spats occur when they get drunk and start kicking people to show off.
  1308. A universe where Big Black Dot is the only painting of a big black dot.
  1309. A universe where the people of Cotyaeum wait in vain for the bishop to return.
  1310. A universe where the Americas were settled by putting unwanted babies out to sea in reed baskets.
  1311. A universe where people with majestic super-toes but normally-sized bodies insist upon learning how to swim, rather than sailing on their toes.
  1312. A universe where harpsichords never went out of style because they succeeded in producing sounds at deeper pitches.
  1313. A universe where the stone idols are furious at us.
  1314. A universe where France paid back the Haitian government.
  1315. A universe where all furnace vents are made to look like cozy little fireplaces and have warning signs so mice don’t get any ideas.
  1316. A universe where motorized roller skates used to be very boring, but now they’ve developed consciousness.
  1317. A universe where fortune telling is a hoax cooked up by bowling ball manufacturers.
  1318. A universe where chickens are made to run through wet cement, in order to leave a trace of their existence upon the Earth.
  1319. A universe where skirts are feet umbrellas.
  1320. A universe where people leave valuables up their noses to give them an excuse to do other stuff with their noses.
  1321. A universe where the only way to make your child fire resistant is to heat the mother’s belly during pregnancy.
  1322. A universe where toothaches are a good thing because it means the devils haven’t escaped their prison.
  1323. A universe where artists would encourage gladiatorial events in order to take advantage of rigor mortis.
  1324. A universe where the decline of the Roman Empire was triggered when the classical orders began to be built according to the wrong proportions.
  1325. A universe where people establish deep personal connections by reciting philosophical quotations to each other.
  1326. A universe where instead of playing rock-paper-scissors, a series of randomly chosen telescopes and microscopes are arranged together, and the players wager on what size the resulting image will be.
  1327. A universe where tasteless works of art are sprinkled with salt to compel critics into defending their artistic value, because if they don’t, someone will try to lick it.
  1328. A universe where domesticated livestock just refuse to budge no matter what.
  1329. A universe where roosters only crow if you shout for joy at seeing the new day first.
  1330. A universe where 18th century fashion was very funky, in imitation of opera costumes.
  1331. A universe where kinetic energy is visible and people wave goodbye as it flies away.
  1332. A universe where pairs of planetary saviors need to keep on coming back to stop the vase from falling over, and it’s upsetting the servants.
  1333. A universe where the grass is covered with electric blankets to protect it during winter.
  1334. A universe where the sun dances whenever it wants us to dance too, and it gets very dismayed when we kneel down instead.
  1335. A universe where animals have not adapted to civilization and are mystified by the nature of plastic bottles.
  1336. A universe where the year 1000 was indeed the apocalypse and everything is now nice and quiet.
  1337. A universe where Winnie the Pooh is real and doesn’t care about Eeyore, so nothing ever happens to him.
  1338. A universe where the evil men of history never became evil because they tripped and fell one day, and were relieved when someone else took their place in line to be the evil men of history.
  1339. A universe where people must continuously breathe upon shiny things to prevent themselves from being blinded.
  1340. A universe where personal names are adjectives, and languages must continuously invent new adjectives.
  1341. A universe where extra-terrestrials have visited Earth without developing any strong opinion regarding the human condition.
  1342. A universe where Terra Australis existed and there was enough room for all Europeans to get an extra country, not just the British.
  1343. A universe which is covered in random symbols in case someone from another universe should ever visit.
  1344. A universe where Egyptian priests would live in tombs, pretending to be mummies living the afterlife, to ensure that tomb robbers wouldn’t have a crisis of faith.
  1345. A universe where people cup each other’s heads in their hands to see if they glow in the dark, as a method of uncovering the Illuminati.
  1346. A universe where people walk around in wedding dresses just in case.
  1347. A universe where the people of Olduvai had a homecoming all prepared, but everyone was too busy digging around.
  1348. A universe where miraculous human fur is exhibited rather than shaved.
  1349. A universe where horses used to walk with the carriage on their backs to lessen the strain to the neck.
  1350. A universe where Venetian blinds were a closely guarded secret.
  1351. A universe where the Philosopher’s Stone was discovered just after the Black Death, which was dismaying for many, many reasons.
  1352. A universe where super-boats are able to sail upon bodies of water of any size, even raindrops.
  1353. A universe where hair is an excretion.
  1354. A universe where people wear blades around their torsos to seem more powerful, though most of the time it just makes it hard to walk.
  1355. A universe where there are no borders because everyone’s a shape shifter and nobody respects boundaries.
  1356. A universe where all windows can be shifted along the wall, in order to please the architects who may ring your bell to criticize the proportions of your windows.
  1357. A universe where the population is on decline and recycling centers send recovered metals back to the mines.
  1358. A universe where emeralds are just diamonds soaked in fruit coloring.
  1359. A universe where inside-out people have secret interior lives.
  1360. A universe where people curl their hairs to have a good place to hang extra string.
  1361. A universe where coastal cities grow by filling in the harbor.
  1362. A universe where Lacan blamed his psychoanalytic theories on faulty baby translators.
  1363. A universe where the Aztecs killed randomly-appearing gods so they wouldn’t have to fight wars for sacrificial victims.
  1364. A universe where tin-can orchestras play symphonic arrangements of mid-century pop songs in order to be taken seriously as classical musicians.
  1365. A universe where it is impossible to relive childhood memories due to parental book burnings.
  1366. A universe where only one song is ever allowed to be played, ever, to ensure that everyone is happy, and nobody complains, because everyone is happy.
  1367. A universe where people solve problems by doing the simplest thing until everything else caves.
  1368. A universe where hidden cities project video feeds of their citizens playing in pools full of gold, so nobody will think they have food and come steal it.
  1369. A universe where clothes are made of zippers to avoid needing different sizes.
  1370. A universe where Australia is the world’s most significant buyer of Astroturf.
  1371. A universe which operates according to full rationality and lacks tongue twisters.
  1372. A universe where giant hoop skirts were a step towards women’s rights because they came with stools attached.
  1373. A universe where God keeps on trying to fill in the empty sets, but is unable to.
  1374. A universe where swells selling swelling sea-shore sea-shells sell several shells.
  1375. A universe where farmers tell their children fanciful tales about their livestock the day before the slaughter.
  1376. A universe where Spiderman is real but his webs are slightly different.
  1377. A universe where evidence of dinosaur civilization has been hidden under the Earth by the subduction plates, to give humans room to breathe.
  1378. A universe where gigglers glibly gobble gooey goopy gobs of glop in gongs, all-agog with glee.
  1379. A universe where nobody minds sociopathic men as long as they cry publically once in a while.
  1380. A universe where robots who want to be humans have their programming modified.
  1381. A universe where the ruins of ancient cities harbor endangered sand mites, pitting the humanities against the sciences.
  1382. A universe where Dionysius Exiguus made sure to write down that the first century had ninety-nine years, but pedants threw away the note.
  1383. A universe where people always carry cheese around to cut, but they’re not really sure why, as they lack a child’s sense of humor.
  1384. A universe where the degrees of angles are a matter of opinion.
  1385. A universe where the terrible mechanical men of Mars are actually from Deimos.
  1386. A universe where societies are segregated by age bracket in an attempt to avoid repeating mistakes.
  1387. A universe where open-plan houses are designed for people who have nothing to hide and hide nothing.
  1388. A universe where people ask strangers to say precisely how strange they are, in order to uncover the monster.
  1389. A universe where you are fascinated by frog legs and talk about them ad infinitum to everyone you meet.
  1390. A universe where dogs are as big as humans, but still have their own door within the normal door.
  1391. A universe where people crawl on the ground to whittle themselves.
  1392. A universe where everyone else is fascinated by frog legs, and they’re building a portal to the previous universe because you’re no fun.
  1393. A universe where little animals hide in caves because they’re scared of houses but don’t mind bears.
  1394. A universe where people try to relive their childhoods by scribbling on the walls, but then they have to clean up.
  1395. A universe where Earth is divided into different quadrants with giant planks of wood, to make people more appreciative of the awesome power of wood.
  1396. A universe where “Orange” is the Scottish patronymic.
  1397. A universe where things that suddenly disappear are invariably found behind the cabinet, except for children.
  1398. A universe where family trees show which individual non-human creatures are the most closely related to individual humans, to complicate, but not resolve, the ethical debate on eating meat.
  1399. A universe where all sheets of paper come with a free pair of scissors, because only non-renewable resources can be replicated endlessly.
  1400. A universe where nobody notices the preservative gasses wafting around, and they think the world has just naturally gone stale.
  1401. A universe where squiggly lines are straight, due to the proximity of nearby black holes.
  1402. A universe where all films are about manic-depressive guppies and are all above reproach, because manic-depressive guppies really do exist in this universe.
  1403. A universe where surface-level jet streams were once only convenient for nomads, but now we have cars.
  1404. A universe where men are obsolete because everybody knows a guy.
  1405. A universe where people wear their blankets as clothes in case they need to go to sleep at work.
  1406. A universe where people eat sugar pills to develop immunity in case they end up in the control group of a medical study.
  1407. A universe where guests are invited to tour houses on their own, to give them an opportunity to share cutting remarks.
  1408. A universe where the boardwalks of the world double as arks in case of flood.
  1409. A universe where peasants are heavyweights from all the exercise they get.
  1410. A universe where breadcrumbs are a delicious way to get someone to try following you.
  1411. A universe where you wanted a pet cow as a child and you got that pet cow.
  1412. A universe where crabs crawl onto the sand to be mistaken for scarabs, because they love sitting on our heads as brooches.
  1413. A universe where people travel by tying themselves to the roots of giant trees and waiting for them to go somewhere.
  1414. A universe where nothing ever ends, but time is not frozen.
  1415. A universe where plays are entirely conducted through audience participation.
  1416. A universe where doing the same thing over and over again results in moderately different results.
  1417. A universe where people live in waterslides at Disneyland, probably because they’re lots of fun; I can’t confirm this, having never been to Disneyland or down a waterslide.
  1418. A universe where all biological knowledge consists of logical inferences derived from the Micrographia.
  1419. A universe where people never speak each other’s languages because they’re too rude to be fluent.
  1420. A universe where novels are cut up and distributed to encourage sharing.
  1421. A universe where protesting cows need to have their hooves propped up by whoever’s telling them what to protest.
  1422. A universe where the conditions to create new life are routinely met, and lightning strikes causes mutations.
  1423. A universe where Tritetracontane is exactly the same thing as it is in our universe, up to a tee, but the field of Linguistics has not been discovered so this particular alkane is often confused with Dotetracontane.
  1424. A universe where gatherings of millions of people claim to be gatherings of billions of people when they hear about other million-person gatherings.
  1425. A universe where social mobility is constrained, because mole people are at the top of the ladder and gated communities are nearly all burrows.
  1426. A universe where you wanted a pet raccoon as a child but got a pet cow instead.
  1427. A universe where polar bears paint big black splotches on themselves whenever prime ministers visit.
  1428. A universe where all ceilings have their own analog computational oven phone, but nobody knows how to use it.
  1429. A universe where people eat with pitchforks to save money on both dishes and cutlery.
  1430. A universe where anything that looks like a pill is taken to be something God has sent you to use.
  1431. A universe where light switches merely activate a mechanical cover.
  1432. A universe where cats allowed themselves to be domesticated so they could wear bells, which would make it more challenging to hunt mice, and cats despise humans because we do not dress them in bells.
  1433. A universe where the English returned Joan of Arc to the French.
  1434. A universe where particular phrases from complicated theoretical books sometime spring to life and run around explaining themselves to everyone they meet; a few times all the passages of an entire book have done this at once, causing terrible confusion.
  1435. A universe where broken ceramic handles are repurposed as cabinet handles, to make it okay if someone spills tea inside.
  1436. A universe where telephone handsets are scarce, so they are painted yellow and only given to those who do not try to eat them.
  1437. A universe where the trees have been replaced with power generators which continuously send up a stream of lightning.
  1438. A universe where society has retained restrictive social customs, to ensure that pre-abstract art will have an impact on modern-day museum patrons.
  1439. A universe where people who write semi-colons where they’re supposed to write colons also confuse question marks with exclamation points.
  1440. A universe where the Earth contains a nested series of smaller planets, which must maintain complex terrestrial heating systems to keep up the charade that the Earth is full of magma.
  1441. A universe where cats have been bred to always be babies, and hamsters have been bred to be big instead.
  1442. A universe where a legitimate casus belli is that an enemy territory is not shaped like an everyday object.
  1443. A universe where comic books do not deal with serious ethical choices and everyone thinks they’re garbage.
  1444. A universe where wish-granting devils who exploit vague language can only be outsmarted if you speak to them in Math.
  1445. A universe where people drum their fingers upon desks to provide inspiration for any composer who’s gotten tired of listening to the sound of locomotives.
  1446. A universe where arrested murderers dress in women’s clothes and act like pretty jazz babes to get some public sympathy.
  1447. A universe where all cities are built on islands to provide them with definite borders.
  1448. A universe where all twelve days of Christmas are properly commercialized.
  1449. A universe where nobody ever eats vegetables because cannibalism is wrong, however strong the urge.
  1450. A universe where both 1984 and Brave New World came to pass because everyone was a masochist.
  1451. A universe where people eagerly mix up suitcases with each other in case the other person is better off.
  1452. A universe where England won the Hundred Year’s War, and has maintained control of France ever since.
  1453. A universe where the eastern Roman Empire never fell and the emperor is considered honorary head of the EU.
  1454. A universe where the hidden ones do not watch us from the window, as they do not disapprove of video technology in this universe.
  1455. A universe where platforms floating through space often almost interlock, so the people stranded on them never lose hope.
  1456. A universe where one of the oars from the ship of Theseus was still alive, it was planted, and then carefully cultivated, and the ship was eventually entirely made of that one living tree.
  1457. A universe where Boy Scouts learn automation badges in case someone invents a machine to help little old ladies cross the street.
  1458. A universe where people attach top hats to their shoes to make sure their feet don’t get wet in rain, despite social prohibitions against doing so.
  1459. A universe where civilization has advanced very unevenly, as people always pretend to be asleep to surprise their friends, and only a few societies have been able to survive the periodic standstills in human activity caused by people waiting for their friends to pass by.
  1460. A universe where poor little countries are offered settlement in big empty countries, and big empty countries are offended when nobody takes up the offer.
  1461. A universe where the atmosphere is sentient and is trying to take a shower.
  1462. A universe where porcelain dolls are made with porcelain clothes in order to better educate girls.
  1463. A universe where nobody ever causes trouble for angry people.
  1464. A universe which is the result of two different universes steadily converging.
  1465. A universe where space aliens are indifferent to the universe outside their homeworld.
  1466. A universe where gangs overturn apple carts to use them as skate ramps, and the local merchant never stops shaking his fist.
  1467. A universe where the ridges on the edges of coins are sharpened in such a way that fraudulent currency will not cut into the skin.
  1468. A universe where filler is often profound.
  1469. A universe where the Belvedere Torso has inspired countless artists to hack modern artworks to bits.
  1470. A universe where uncontacted peoples are left alone until they discover steam power.
  1471. A universe where everyone sleeps in hammocks because the human body never adapted well to beds.
  1472. A universe where old men use shepherd’s crooks as canes to remind themselves of their pastoral childhoods.
  1473. A universe where fathers keep the rest of society posted through personal ads to give themselves an excuse to worry about family honor, but don’t do so on Facebook, which is a dirty website.
  1474. A universe where discarded socks are donated to mice.
  1475. A universe where domestic sliding doors are built with automatic motors, to make them even more impressive to people who’ve never seen them before.
  1476. A universe where scraps of paper are stitched together and bleached to be used as printer paper, which is very expensive, you know.
  1477. A universe where those who reject the racist ideas they have encountered in their lives do not live in racist societies.
  1478. A universe where Christianity has been outlawed by a bunch of meanies who don’t want anyone to achieve salvation.
  1479. A universe where bookworms are indispensable to book preservation because of their weak digestive systems.
  1480. A universe where the builders of Stonehenge only succeeded in building the foundations of the supertall skyscraper they had been planning to build.
  1481. A universe where iron was first mined as a cheap alternative to bronze, when soup was invented and sporks no longer sufficed.
  1482. A universe where the continents were formed by a gargantuan cookie cutter.
  1483. A universe where pants do not have back pockets, to discourage people from using their back pockets.
  1484. A universe where the word ‘gay’ is still regularly used to mean happy, and relevant pedantries are therefore valid.
  1485. A universe where snowplows are used to roll snowballs.
  1486. A universe where humble mansions are referred to as little castles.
  1487. A universe where parsley tastes terrible but looks even daintier.
  1488. A universe where Harry Potter is real and the location of Platform 9¾ is found by solving a math problem, the answer to which is the wall to the far right of platforms 9 and 10.
  1489. A universe where Batman is real but his belt is slightly different.
  1490. A universe where people who crawl on the ground are worshiped as gods for having many tiny legs.
  1491. A universe where all white substances are used to substitute milk, and substitutes to milk are therefore banned.
  1492. A universe where people will eat anything red, so the world must always be covered with an orange blanket.
  1493. A universe where people look very closely at things to keep everything seeming austere.
  1494. A universe where humans aren’t sentient, but have nevertheless benefited from the gifts intelligent insects leave by their heads every night.
  1495. A universe where all good epistolary novels are written as advice columns.
  1496. A universe where sweet-talking ideas trick idealists into freeing them from their book so they could take over the world.
  1497. A universe where people break into song to fill awkward silences.
  1498. A universe where plumbing systems which involve multiple pipes are not considered phallic symbols, to avoid thinking of the embarrassing implications.
  1499. A universe where squirt bottles have force fields to make sure nobody touches the nib with their lips, and nobody could think of any other application for force fields.
  1500. cropped-cropped-3000-universes.jpg

    A universe where there’s always something dancing in the middle of everything, except for the middle of texts (unless it’s the Multiverse).

  1501. A universe where water is full of corrosive substances so nobody walks through puddles, but everything else is fine.
  1502. A universe where people say one thing and mean something you’d rather they mean.
  1503. A universe which will be very easy to conquer one day as the people insist on doing everything turn-based.
  1504. A universe where the invisible hand of the economy is trying to combat the Mathew effect.
  1505. A universe where topsy-turvy days happen every day because one’s sense of self derives from the motions of the Earth.
  1506. A universe where the glorious history of civilization is passed down in the form of children’s party games.
  1507. A universe where whatever cathartic thing you currently most desire is expressly forbidden.
  1508. A universe where everyone wears the bust of an imaginary person on their head, in case they ever meet someone who looks like that person and they want to have coffee.
  1509. A universe where calcified fur is used to repair broken bones, primarily because it’s thought to be a magic substance which could do anything, as fur isn’t supposed to calcify.
  1510. A universe where babies are planted and raised beneath pumpkins to create a race of Halloween decorations.
  1511. A universe where cockroaches harbor bedbugs and termites.
  1512. A universe where 48-hour clocks are even more efficient than 24-hour clocks, as the people of this universe like to think that days are 48 hours long and block their eyes and sing whenever night falls.
  1513. A universe where climate change is canceling out the next ice age.
  1514. A universe where the best quality jeans are worn by farmers.
  1515. A universe where sugar is packaged with a pipe so it could be injected past your teeth.
  1516. A universe where chain stores offer discounts whose value depends on how many other branches you’ve visited.
  1517. A universe where moon worms stuck on Earth curl up in canyons because they don’t know what to do and are very scared.
  1518. A universe made up entirely of Earth clones, each one which is a clone of every single parallel universe version of Earth.
  1519. A universe where synthetic materials are only developed when the developers of natural resources get too cocky.
  1520. A universe where social divisions are overcome by fence-jumping.
  1521. A universe where Chinese dog breeders breed Dalmatians.
  1522. A universe where some world-changing event happened slightly differently and caused big problems, but since you were never born things went back in sync with our own universe eventually.
  1523. A universe where people say one thing and mean whatever you don’t want them to mean.
  1524. A universe where broom handles are carefully enlarged twigs.
  1525. A universe where all the stars of a galaxy aggregate to form the shape of the continents of Earth, and every planet corresponds to the equivalent locale on Earth.
  1526. A universe where humans have extendable necks, because looking at the world from the other person’s point of view was an evolutionary advantage.
  1527. A universe where everything sparkles with the shine of our brilliant intellectual centers.
  1528. A universe where human progress is oriented towards developing the technology to blow rain away.
  1529. A universe where the Harry Potter series was an elaborate ploy to raise the funding needed to build the Harry Potter universe in real life, but it failed miserably.
  1530. A universe where people put themselves in machines which manipulate their bodies into performing every possible bodily function, in order to discover their ideal careers and hobbies.
  1531. A universe where people smell each other to say goodbye, but not hello; to say hello they sniff each other.
  1532. A universe where Time Lords exist, but are unable to change the past, and can’t even travel to another universe.
  1533. A universe where the gods disapprove but cannot do anything about it since we no longer pay attention.
  1534. A universe where palm trees are the roots of pine trees growing on the other side of the planet.
  1535. A universe where the only known way to get rid of snow in winter is to build an igloo around the house, which causes terrible damage.
  1536. A universe where people say one thing and what they mean keeps on changing, so you must pay attention to either their tone of voice, or to your own wishful thinking.
  1537. A universe where all the inhabited planets of this universe with a similar atmosphere to Earth exist, but each planet comprises half of one planet and half of another.
  1538. A universe where closeted men always carry a pistol in their pocket to make sure no one will think they’re happy, but nobody understands why the men don’t want people to think they’re happy, and it’s very frustrating for the closeted men.
  1539. A universe where going on long thoughtful walks risks overheating your brain.
  1540. A universe where people who work on their beds keep on losing all the work they’d done, as everyone falls asleep whenever they lie down.
  1541. A universe where humans never found life on Venus because all our emissions of carbon dioxide traveled through space and killed the Venusians before the 1950s.
  1542. A universe where those life forms which are best able to sustain themselves on raindrops have the greatest evolutionary advantages.
  1543. A universe where the Vindication of the Rights of Women was about their right to make a good meal, tainting women’s cookery with an aura of ill-repute for the next century.
  1544. A universe where no container is ever allowed to go empty, to ensure that adventurers do not waste their time, as adventuring is the single most important industry in this universe.
  1545. A universe where people who find everything interesting are always at a loss of words, for fear of seeming rude.
  1546. A universe where ballet is very popular, due to the perception among little girls that the tutus will fly away unless they trap them.
  1547. A universe where the Chinese dug a deep trench instead of a great wall, but the next emperor misunderstood the purpose and built a wall in the trench.
  1548. A universe where the people seem to be alive but are actually a very fluid ice.
  1549. A universe where jewelry is prized as the product of a jeweler’s skill.
  1550. A universe where the moon was hollowed out to be a space station, but it couldn’t avert the space invasion because it kept on orbiting away.
  1551. A universe where the oceans precipitate in order to find a new home.
  1552. A universe where UFOs spying on humanity compete with each other by trying to zap corn.
  1553. A universe where beautiful girls wear sunglasses, to ensure that their eyes won’t gleam with the light of the morning star.
  1554. A universe where Franco encouraged Brutalism to spite Barcelona, and Spaniards today encrust their concrete blocks with petrified waves and multihued bark.
  1555. A universe where Beethoven’s music waits to be rediscovered.
  1556. A universe where wealth is consumed by paying for cabinets strong enough to support all its weight.
  1557. A universe where churches don’t need choirs, because parishioners sit on musical swings hanging from the ceiling.
  1558. A universe where the English parliament compelled Elizabeth I to sleep in a glass bedroom.
  1559. A universe where cake is very difficult to cut into pieces.
  1560. A universe where the tops of skyscrapers have automatic shrinking machines so people could occupy the decorative spires and antennae.
  1561. A universe where everything is thought of as a kind of dimension, and basilica walls are made of churches.
  1562. A universe where bipedal cats slither around on their knees to make fun of quadruped cats, and quadrupeds live with humans to convince us to take out the bipeds.
  1563. A universe where the most prestigious books are printed in cursive.
  1564. A universe where everything is made of intelligent nano-tech atoms that build themselves rockets.
  1565. A universe where people carry signs on their head which state the desired interactions they would like to have with strange passers-by.
  1566. A universe where people comb their hair with discarded fingernails to ensure they never lose their personal style.
  1567. A universe where the drive to upload consciousnesses mainly comes from those who think they are a cancer to the planet.
  1568. A universe where traps are laid out throughout the land to catch rainbows, and it works sometimes.
  1569. A universe where Escher’s optical illusions are realistic buildings designed for our habitation, but they have been built the wrong way by space aliens who are unfamiliar with gravity, so they are currently developing a system of pulleys to adapt to our needs, and that is why they haven’t come for us yet; and also, Escher was an alien.
  1570. A universe where absolutely everyone wears facial masks on public transit.
  1571. A universe where everyone speaks Esperanto, but English is still the lingua franca.
  1572. A universe where children buy their own wire hangers.
  1573. A universe where razors are flesh-eating ants tied to a stick.
  1574. A universe where ancient peoples hated honey and used it to make neither cakes or wine.
  1575. A universe where ancient hominids evolved back to being monkeys, after aliens came down and boosted their energy levels when they started to evolve.
  1576. A universe where dogs have become masters of the world due to the greater relish with which they turn a grindstone.
  1577. A universe where there’s nothing wrong with wearing a rope as a belt.
  1578. A universe where the clowns who don’t even try are the scariest.
  1579. A universe where only tasteless people buy mass-produced goods.
  1580. A universe where cows were given bells by vegetarian activists to show off their musical talents.
  1581. A universe where crabs live under the sea, trapped beneath the sand.
  1582. A universe where muscular training is conducted to grow chest hair.
  1583. A universe where towelettes are repurposed skirts.
  1584. A universe where English split into two languages, and in one the “Berenstain Bears” are spelt “the Berenstein Bears,” and in the other “the Bears called Barenstein,” but both are spelt “Berenstienne” in translation.
  1585. A universe where computers completed the mystical quest to find the royal road to geometry.
  1586. A universe where people iron their clothes by placing them at the edges of tectonic plates.
  1587. A universe where time ticks backwards, and people tick with it, but dogs don’t, so they keep running around us.
  1588. A universe where the Spanish invasion of England of 1588 is the most popular battle for reenactors.
  1589. A universe where Green Lantern is real but something about his lantern is slightly different.
  1590. A universe where the Roanoke colony survived and has been the most important American city ever since.
  1591. A universe where giant redwood trees are deprived of water until death so they could be hollowed out as houses.
  1592. A universe where robots conduct all our electronic communications, and give us daily briefs about how our lives are going.
  1593. A universe where society is divided into many different social groups, the parameters of which only those who are outside of the group are aware of.
  1594. A universe where two rotating galaxies spark earthquakes in each other when they get too close together.
  1595. A universe where shepherds frolic with sheep to the merry tunes of a pan flute; at least, they do until the time comes.
  1596. A universe where cats wear very tall hats in memory of Lincoln, who never told anyone that he only likes the color red when it is part of a tartan pattern.
  1597. A universe where the people of the 19th century and earlier did not get too hot in summer under all those clothes.
  1598. A universe where anyone wanting some whimsy just has to poke a hole in the wall and deposit a few mouse clothes.
  1599. A universe where people always manipulate handles with their legs to promote usage of the term “legle.”
  1600. A universe where nobody realized that the Earth was about to blow up, because it was a regular occurrence for terrible columns of fired to descend from the heavens; in fact, they kept time by it.
  1601. A universe where the Malay archipelago hosts the world’s only superpower because it holds a monopoly on the spice trade.
  1602. A universe where crawlspaces must also be secret passages to make houses more stimulating.
  1603. A universe where nobody ever quite managed to smelt metal alloys so they have to wait for volcanic eruptions.
  1604. A universe where everyone named Randolph paints his nose off-red to avoid complaints of copyright infringement, which is hard, because they all have naturally shiny noses.
  1605. A universe where time is frozen on one side of the Earth, but gets faster and faster as you move further away, which isn’t much fun for the people who’ve spent 5000 years shaking off their pins-and-needles.
  1606. A universe where second-hand stores sell used single-use cutlery.
  1607. A universe where giant rats are killed with more than one or two sword thrusts.
  1608. A universe where the sales numbers of cabbage have plummeted since the 1980s.
  1609. A universe where mobs of terrible people split up to become terrible individualists.
  1610. A universe where Edison’s Kinetophone succeeded in displacing telephony, although that had not been his intention, despite that one time Alexander Graham Bell had laughed at his tie.
  1611. A universe where bays and harbors and gulfs and peninsulas and islands do not hide the sea from the coast.
  1612. A universe where humans have telepathic antennae, so shirt tags are unnecessary.
  1613. A universe where the pyramids were built by the Hebrew slaves to hold grain for the seven years of famine, which God had promised would never happen again.
  1614. A universe where a megastrong asteroid shot straight through the Earth, but its family followed to patch things up so it was okay in the end.
  1615. A universe where a single box in your closet spells doom for the entire universe.
  1616. A universe where the anaerobic bacteria held their breath.
  1617. A universe where museums of abstract art justify themselves by maintaining activity rooms where patrons can try doing it themselves.
  1618. A universe where birth doctors often forget to fill up the air holes in the feet of newborns.
  1619. A universe where inane utterances are re-arranged to make them even more inane by those who feel that everyone else is inane.
  1620. A universe where the seas are actually mostly wind and surf.
  1621. A universe where broccoli are bonsai.
  1622. A universe where unfunny people do not even pretend to laugh, but maintain a fixed smile whose proportions can be measured to deduce their current psychological state.
  1623. A universe where old bangles are given to mice to use as hoola hoops.
  1624. A universe where dancing bobble-head dolls would rather not.
  1625. A universe where anteaters do not eat ants, they are just fed by ants.
  1626. A universe where people boycott coffee companies by politely asking for tea whenever someone offers.
  1627. A universe where left-handedness is corrected by reversing the cerebral hemispheres.
  1628. A universe where Tesla’s technology for wireless electricity failed to electrocute the ominous giant arm in the sky.
  1629. A universe where all languages have the same puns to make them easier to decipher.
  1630. A universe where the floors of private homes are meters-deep carpets studded with customized stilts, as a security measure against people whose shoe size isn’t the same as the owner’s.
  1631. A universe where it is obscene to drink coffee in anything but a tiny cup; otherwise people might become too energetic and peppy.
  1632. A universe where non-royalty are obliged to put dresses on their heads instead of wearing crowns.
  1633. A universe where all natural formations can fit perfectly with another natural formation somewhere in the world.
  1634. A universe where sculptures just have to carve moustaches, as marble blocks are already shaped like the intended statue when they’re cut from the quarry.
  1635. A universe where nobody goes to see parades because they could always see a bunch of floats on TV if they really wanted to.
  1636. A universe where the only way to calm a hammer is to lock it in a room with a plywood board and a box of nails.
  1637. A universe where windmills are decorative buildings.
  1638. A universe where the vermin inhabiting Lazarus’ corpse never used to exercise.
  1639. A universe where simulated realities are held hostage in cyber wars.
  1640. A universe where your left eye was replaced with a billiards ball in what you claim to have been an accident.
  1641. A universe where teeny tiny monsters beg for us to put them on the table and play with them, with all sincerity.
  1642. A universe where all automated systems have unique smileys drawn on them which accurately portray their complex psychologies.
  1643. A universe where schoolteachers are neither cute nor repulsive.
  1644. A universe where people are too polite to burp.
  1645. A universe where people whisper to improve each other’s hearing, but it actually just improves our neck muscles, which in the long run will have serious ramifications for human evolution.
  1646. A universe where our favorite songs start playing in our head whenever we ought to be excited.
  1647. A universe where nobody can ever see what’s in the display window at furniture stores because a sofa’s in the way.
  1648. A universe where it is strictly a computer’s job to be repetitive, and people who repeat themselves are locked up by computer goons until they think of something new to say.
  1649. A universe where people dance around the maypole with golden chains, the links of which are then worn as a golden hat for the maybirds to roost in.
  1650. A universe where people have hairdos shaped like their name, in order to ascertain whether they resemble the kind of person who would have that name.
  1651. A universe where the Royalists won the English Civil War, and the monarchy has retained power ever since.
  1652. A universe where clamshell laptops come with bookmarks to attract the middle class.
  1653. A universe where Lourdes water expires.
  1654. A universe where children are not allowed to rifle through their mother’s night table.
  1655. A universe where monkeys became sentient when the dominant group discovered how to make fire from the jet fuel of a crashed plane, and the others revolted by continuing to eat uncooked food and living in a warm climate.
  1656. A universe where vocal cords have evolved to the extent that mean words can be used in sonic warfare.
  1657. A universe where the world is always wreathed in fog, and cities cluster in the eyes of hurricanes.
  1658. A universe where individual hairs have their own opinions on whether or not they should be cut, and continuously debate each other on this subject.
  1659. A universe where wiper fluid works really well on window panes, but it’s a trade secret.
  1660. A universe where the Earth is a giant desert planet, but the sand is all of different colors and densities which correspond to the continents and vegetation of another planet, and sand ships are necessary to cross the sand ocean.
  1661. A universe where the Star Wars galaxy will someday exist, right here.
  1662. A universe where the main impediment to action on climate change is the sweet smell of car exhaust.
  1663. A universe where the Aristotelians persecuted pickle-makers as heretics.
  1664. A universe where life is a gas which lives in rocks, and fences are actually the spaces between the bars.
  1665. A universe where automobiles are driven by continuously turning the wheel to maintain its speed, and by choosing your direction with the pedals; this is to ensure that commuters will stay in shape, as well as to encourage long-distance air travel, as driving on the highway is extremely tiring.
  1666. A universe where the terms nobody uses the term annus horribilis to refer to years during which at least one person laughed.
  1667. A universe where tea parties on the ceiling are a regular occurrence; sometimes they’re done with giant swings, or artificial gravity, or suction cups, or whatever the professor has cooked up that day.
  1668. A universe where automated factories are remote controlled by workers in the developing world.
  1669. A universe where toaster companies responded to the “It’s Toasted” ad by advertising that toasters can toast bread even if you don’t need them for cigarettes anymore.
  1670. A universe where dolphins frolic in order to perform echolocation symphonies.
  1671. A universe where snakes are looking for their other leg.
  1672. A universe where urban areas fly around on giant saucers so they can easily land where it’s most convenient for everyone else.
  1673. A universe where the impossible is possible because the laws of physics are fantastically different; for example, in this universe, horses juggle people while dancing on the backs of turtles, who are being juggle by the people being juggled.
  1674. A universe where the Simpsons date back to 1931 as a series of classic shorts and the debate over their golden age ended when everyone died.
  1675. A universe where noses have been modified to be detachable, to ensure that we don’t have to depend on Kleenex for survival.
  1676. A universe where the galaxies are much bigger than they are in our own universe, and there are tons more of them as well; in fact, we may as well call the whole thing just one big galaxy (everyone loves galaxies!).
  1677. A universe where all the best parties are held in one’s mouth.
  1678. A universe where Iron Man is real but his suit is slightly different.
  1679. A universe where everyone sidles in case there’s a tightrope right next to them.
  1680. A universe where everyone wishes they could sail in a mussel shell, so all bathrooms are supplied with a stack of them for us to play with wistfully in the sink; this is all very discrete, of course, as nobody would ever admit to being so base as to desire to sail in a mussel shell.
  1681. A universe where someone started building an endless ladder a couple thousand years ago, and it’s just reached the moon.
  1682. A universe where bicycles try to pull cars down the street to encourage people to feel good will towards them.
  1683. A universe where snakes rejuvenate themselves by eating their own tails.
  1684. A universe where flesh-eating bacteria would rather eat candy corn, and would like us to reprocess our discarded bodily tissues as such.
  1685. A universe where the Big Bang was totally different from what it was in our own universe, creating entirely different laws of physics, but everything is still identical to our own universe.
  1686. A universe where ferocious gobblers only like to pretend that they’re gobbling things, so we use their terrible snapping jaws to chop our food.
  1687. A universe where Earth harbors the only life in the universe and every other planet is luscious.
  1688. A universe where an extremely tiny organism, looking down at one of the atoms which comprises its body, was suddenly surprised by a jolt from that atom and jumped, and the slightly larger organism looking at that organism jumped itself, and then another and another, and so forth, until the Sun jumped too and sent a ray of sunshine to calm everyone down.
  1689. A universe where nobody realizes that anything can be art.
  1690. A universe where congealed blood is not thrown into the garbage whenever it is discovered, but saved for the vampire’s daily rounds.
  1691. A universe where people cook chicken by sticking in a candle and letting it burn out, and it works, in the sense that the candle burns out.
  1692. A universe where giant holes in the ground are filled in with dirt of another nature, to maintain their status as a giant hole in the ground.
  1693. A universe where life is plentiful in the universe and we’re running out of air.
  1694. A universe where the library of Alexandria never burned down, and civilization today is much better off, due to our knowledge of spinning-top-operated automatons.
  1695. A universe where floating upside-down mountains are not considered mountains due to the controversial belief that they’re really stalactites.
  1696. A universe where everyone claims that they only wear cowboy hats to make sure they have storage space available, but they never even use it.
  1697. A universe where buildings are clusters of polyhedra and stairs are unnecessary.
  1698. A universe where long-legged frogs sing but do not talk.
  1699. A universe where free toys that come with other products are made of felt, in order to encourage further spending.
  1700. A universe where human activities are evenly divided between day and night, to give everyone a chance to do stuff.
  1701. A universe where chimneys have built-in ladders so they could be used as a fire escape.
  1702. A universe where climate change is especially disappointing because we were promised we’d one day live in dried-out coral reefs.
  1703. A universe where the Dorg of Morg never conquered Vannalarg and eggs are not green in consequence.
  1704. A universe where prison water fountains were connected to the power supply during the years when corporal punishment was illegal in the US.
  1705. A universe where drains and pipes power micro hydroelectric power stations which miraculously never clog.
  1706. A universe where the Jabberwock rarely comes whiffling through the tulgey wood.
  1707. A universe where the seat of all pairs of pants have a cushion in case of fall.
  1708. A universe where public libraries encourage the use of fresh popsicle sticks as bookmarks, to increase funding.
  1709. A universe where finely carved wall decorations are plastered with epaper so people always have something to fondle while holding the balustrade.
  1710. A universe where buildings are filled in with dirt so the houses built under them could be resold as underground houses.
  1711. A universe where people have to draw the curtains closed with needle and thread.
  1712. A universe where cameras have learned to carry out surgery by themselves.
  1713. A universe where lobotomies are still carried out, but strictly regulated.
  1714. A universe where the Qing were never deposed and hold the Mandate of Heaven over all the world.
  1715. A society where Louis XIV never died and the French revolutionaries were blinded by his brilliant luster.
  1716. A universe where keyboards have switches instead of buttons, to tire our fingers and make it more difficult to flick away the devil.
  1717. A universe where commercial satellites project advertisements on the moon targeted to lovers.
  1718. A universe where mosquitoes have been eradicated and humourial imbalances are chronic.
  1719. A universe where women are sexually attracted to clouds of black soot, and straight young men roll coal when they want to watch something better than internet porn.
  1720. A universe where the biological sex of all new born babies switch every thirty years or so.
  1721. A universe where the concerns of future paleontologists are considered in ethical debates on the eradication of tar pits.
  1722. A universe where people often transform into beings of pure energy, and really wouldn’t understand a universe where that is not possible, unless everyone in that universe were a cat, of course.
  1723. A universe where everyone is really lucky, so retail stores just need to print a handful of circulars and send them off in the wind.
  1724. A universe where people draw pictures on postcards, and very rude recipients ask why they didn’t do it in ASCII art.
  1725. A universe where the laws of nature are the same but the rules of logic are entirely different.
  1726. A universe where studies which have researched the relationship between hair whorls and sexual orientation remembered to account for the Coriolis effect.
  1727. A universe where the British Empire rebranded itself as “the empire where summer never ends,” to make the colonies realize how much fun they could have.
  1728. A universe where job recruiters patrol the street ringing a bell, the music of which can only be understood by the one who is qualified for the job.
  1729. A universe where wild dogs run through cities to reduce human confidence in the success of domestication.
  1730. A universe where computer capacities stopped growing once they were powerful enough to hold all of a housewife’s recipes.
  1731. A universe where Boston suddenly suffered a spike in the population of ducks, and things became very awkward.
  1732. A universe where skin pelts are more expensive than gold due to the true cost of a pelt.
  1733. A universe where human appearances are evaluated by how well they resemble natural formations.
  1734. A universe where people watch 3D TV by looking out the window, but are disappointed to only ever see flying flower-dragons singing about their sins to cure themselves of the disease of the seven blessings.
  1735. A universe where potatoes are secretly applied with lipstick by precocious babies.
  1736. A universe where various 19th century persons were born who were not born in our own universe, and they introduced Steampunk.
  1737. A universe where everyone is a cat and knows how to transform into a being of pure energy, thank you very much.
  1738. A universe where amazing flying turnips are boring; it’s the turnip-shaped balloons dragged by locomotives which actually draw a crowd, the excitement coming from waiting to see whether the turnip balloon will be able to escape the train and float up to freedom.
  1739. A universe where dried out raisins are buried by certain religious communities.
  1740. A universe where meteors are trying to send us a message but they don’t understand our language.
  1741. A universe where everyone can relate to jokes about annoying people who push bad scripts onto movie stars.
  1742. A universe where the moon is made of gas and we had to try landing on Mars instead.
  1743. A universe where people have the right to only see advertisements of things they already want to buy.
  1744. A universe where people were excited about color television because it would allow them to see tinted silent films again.
  1745. A universe where life never evolved beyond bacteria, to ensure that the Earth would be in optimal condition, though other planets may have faced different standards.
  1746. A universe where Nova Roma holds reenactments of Caligula throwing the audience to the lions, in celebration of Roman cultural achievements.
  1747. A universe where tap-dancing merged with pole-dancing after the 1950s.
  1748. A universe where human beings are barely able to hold all their internal organs together, let alone achieve sentience.
  1749. A universe where frozen pollutants are carefully melted in the hopes that they’ll just float away.
  1750. A universe in which all discarded matter is preserved in case it contains an alternate universe itself.
  1751. A universe where the dreams you have during the night come true.
  1752. A universe where trees suck up water to produce waterfalls for insects to take baths in.
  1753. A universe where the dreams you have during the night are symbolic manifestations of mundane things which come true.
  1754. A universe where you can’t lean too hard on the railings, in case it gets annoyed and collapses.
  1755. A universe where ancient humans were only able to eat grasshoppers, and human vision is unable to detect anything but grasshoppers.
  1756. A universe where jumping jacks were invented by the Vitruvian Man, and not Jack.
  1757. A universe where people are thrown into volcanoes to induce eruptions.
  1758. A universe where everything is ruled by logic, except emotional management.
  1759. A universe where Adam and Eve have never died because someone when back in time to stop them from eating the forbidden fruit.
  1760. A universe where everyone is a mime due to everything being obvious.
  1761. A universe where people regularly put themselves into comas to travel to the future, without realizing that the future is now.
  1762. A universe where all the trees are being gathered to create a giant bonfire.
  1763. A universe where puppies are bred as hole punchers, to boost the sale of dog mush to retired dogs.
  1764. A universe where grass is considered a weed because dandelion gardens are preferred.
  1765. A universe where nobody ever becomes anxious with fear, because malevolent entities state exactly what they’re going to do before they do it.
  1766. A universe where civilization never developed architecture but has achieved a high state of technology nevertheless, as people are tough cookies, having grown up in the wild.
  1767. A universe where ancient humans were once split in two different castes, and the one which used to test the edibility of various substances became cannibals once all the other substances had been tested.
  1768. A universe where children have to tug at their parents’ skirts for them to get up and do stuff instead of just working all day.
  1769. A universe where tears are the excretion of saddened brain cells.
  1770. A universe where Bach composed exclusively for the clavichord.
  1771. A universe where the Voynich manuscript is a copy of whatever ancient text you most desire.
  1772. A universe where people wear dead caterpillars rather than fur coats, so they could adjust the size for the season.
  1773. A universe where statisticians lead the drive to develop human cloning.
  1774. A universe where flying monkeys always carry rhinos with them, to ensure a soft landing.
  1775. A universe where people live in hobbit holes as a way to attract hobbits, but none of them want to go back home yet.
  1776. A universe where The British Empire won the American War of Independence, and the American colonies have been British ever since.
  1777. A universe where you can be reimbursed the price of chewing gum at grocery stores, which collect chewed up wads to be sold to collectors.
  1778. A universe where all-powerful smile-cats have better things to do than everything they do.
  1779. A universe where white supremacists are ashamed to descend from nations founded by exiled Trojans.
  1780. A universe where Wonder Woman is real but something about her crown is slightly different.
  1781. A universe where art installations made from everyday objects are only considered art if they are no longer able to perform their everyday functions.
  1782. A universe where the wind creates the appropriate theme music for every moment of your life, and nobody needs to gossip.
  1783. A universe where bowls must have plugs in case sinks get banned.
  1784. A universe where European colonizers taught themselves how to shrink heads, in order to use that skill in retaliation against attacks from all indigenous peoples.
  1785. A universe where spooky houses are the most expensive.
  1786. A universe where objects are reclassified whenever the estimated size of the universe increases, and all planets are now call called specks of dust.
  1787. A universe where Ceres and Pluto are plotting to join up and become planets again, and are oblivious to the irony of doing so.
  1788. A universe where celebrities live half their lives in simulated realities in order to hide the details of their private lives from biographers.
  1789. A universe where Louis XVI offered to move to the Queen’s hamlet from the palace of Versailles to diffuse revolutionary tensions, the offer was accepted, and the French monarchy continues to this day.
  1790. A universe where tendrils of hardened lava poke through the ground to cause the team you hate to trip while playing the big game.
  1791. A universe where jackals are always sneaking behind humans and walking upright in an attempt to become a god.
  1792. A universe where every room in a building is required to double as a steam bath, although most people don’t realize it, thankfully.
  1793. A universe where all dinner tables come with fake googly-eyed cameras attached, to get everyone laughing at the silly notion that someone might be spying on them.
  1794. A universe where everything is always wrapped in security tape, to save time during investigations.
  1795. A universe where the fissures in the Earth start to buzz whenever there’s too much honey in the world.
  1796. A universe where frying pans are hardened petals harvested from the kitchen flowers which grow in the garden.
  1797. A universe where ottomans are used as seats by those who would hold our feet.
  1798. A universe where your can’t stop juggling, but you really love juggling, so you don’t mind; in fact, you like juggling so much that you spend all your life at a circus juggling for people waiting to ride the rollercoaster-wheel.
  1799. A universe where people who wear finger rings must always wear gloves as a precaution against finger-thieves.
  1800. A universe where the long 19th century is called the short 13th sesquicentury.
  1801. A universe where various accidental discoveries never occurred, and scientists had to rely on the scientific method instead.
  1802. A universe where the French Revolution was defeated by people who thought it was about the legality of underwear.
  1803. A universe where very thin towers need to have stepladders.
  1804. A universe where the radius of the Earth is the sum of the radii of all round objects on the Earth.
  1805. A universe where business mergers are encouraged by regulating that random objects must be able to fit together, such as bottle caps and mugs, or footprints and computer casings.
  1806. A universe where the Holy Roman Empire never fell and Germany is so advanced nowadays they don’t even wear lederhosen.
  1807. A universe where a network of giant catapults assure swift passage throughout the kingdom.
  1808. A universe where treadmills are tank-tread vehicles that drive around a track.
  1809. A universe where everyone wears funny hats and lives in a fantastic garden to encourage the notion that the Earth is a magical labyrinth.
  1810. A universe where corn is used to make baby dentures, as parents think they’re cute.
  1811. A universe where 3D printers became commercially viable when they became cheaper than dishwashers.
  1812. A universe where trapeze artists drive around in trapeze-cars and walk around with trapeze-walkers, so everyone will know that they’re trapeze artists and will give them a job if ever they lose it.
  1813. A universe where the linen backing sewn onto leather is of such exquisite quality that people wear that side instead.
  1814. A universe where everything looks like the inside of a generic multihued cyclone.
  1815. A universe where Earth is the only planet that can support life which is not shaped like a cube.
  1816. A universe where all matter has evolved into a succulent gas wafting through space, and the first universe to discover how to visit here is going to have a feast.
  1817. A universe where the ‘Bridges of Konigsberg’ was a trick question, as one of the bridges was actually a bridge-shaped boat you’d only need to cross in order to win bonus points; it was, however, impossible to solve the puzzle while also winning bonus points.
  1818. A universe where the anti-matter sun is slowly eating the regular sun.
  1819. A universe where the Earth is filled with puffy clouds which occasionally come out of the toilet to blast us through the air.
  1820. A universe where conventional belief holds that all body parts must fall off and be re-grown during childhood, and psychology is dedicated to treating arrested development.
  1821. A universe where wheelchairs are rocket-powered.
  1822. A universe where everything naturally glows neon so neon lights are actually silhouettes moulds.
  1823. A universe where someone forgot to program ASIMO with the three laws of robotics.
  1824. A universe where minimalists are most interested in smoothing out complex patterns.
  1825. A universe where the person with the greatest literary potential in the world only speaks a dead language.
  1826. A universe where toasters are given plastic bodybuilder arms, so they won’t feel bad when they’re next to the oven, though none of these things are sentient.
  1827. A universe where automatic translation has improved the state of the arts by allowing everyone to speak their own individual language.
  1828. A universe where the Pope tried to end the Taiping Rebellion.
  1829. A universe where humans do not exist, and aliens have ended up conquering the entire universe looking for humans to conquer.
  1830. A universe where treadmills are installed on tank-tread vehicles that drive around a track.
  1831. A universe where everyone secretly desires to have giant eyes.
  1832. A universe where dirty clothes must be dried out on chandeliers during winter because dryers are the only source of heat.
  1833. A universe where cities are built exclusively on deserts so as not to waste arable land.
  1834. A universe where all clothes are extremely elastic so they could be reused as bags.
  1835. A universe where this list exists, and the entry for the evil universe refers to the universe where humans are attached to marionettes.
  1836. A universe where Europeans never succeed in visiting North America, as they get a heart attack every time they see how beautiful it is.
  1837. A universe where the government regulates the corporal punishment of children by forcing companies to provide nutritional information on bars of soap.
  1838. A universe where the horizon seems to bend upwards, though the planet is spherical, and you’ve always been tempted to try sliding down.
  1839. A universe where Charles Dickens was never born, and 19th century British policy makers justified their meager labor laws by blaming a lack of good literature.
  1840. A universe where augmented reality lenses exist primarily to make the Sun look like a smiling infant.
  1841. A universe where Trump’s tweets are correct most of the time; this is the only such universe.
  1842. A universe where crops are grown on the tops of airplanes, in the hopes that there might be some kind of special magic fertility up in the sky, and you don’t know until you try.
  1843. A universe where grocery stores make most of their profit from filling their customer’s cookie jars.
  1844. A universe where everyone hops like a bunny to lead the rabbits on a merry dance down the meadow.
  1845. A universe where legs are rocket-powered.
  1846. A universe where bloodlust is channeled into picking wildflowers.
  1847. A universe where all boxes must be registered in case they contain a parallel universe.
  1848. A universe where Newton is famous for discovering the precise amount of epicycles needed for the geocentric model to work.
  1849. A universe where all new constructions using stone as a material must balance out the Earth’s loss of mass with an appropriate sacrifice.
  1850. A universe where bezoars are coated with antidotes out of respect for the ancients.
  1851. A universe where all things are purple except for berries and other purple things.
  1852. A universe where the Earth is a cosmic spoof of Venus.
  1853. A universe where the wind blows about a bunch of mannequins that do stuff.
  1854. A universe where typewriters tried typing “Some humble, radiant, and terrific typewriter,” in a bid to avert obsolescence.
  1855. A universe where treadmills are installed on tank-tread vehicles, which drive along a conveyor belt shaped like a track.
  1856. A universe where every continent has its own theocratic ruler to decide constitutional questions regarding religious legislation.
  1857. A universe where alien invasions are a regular occurrence, and all living things on Earth have evolved to look like barren rocks.
  1858. A universe where words you’ve forgotten say peek-a-boo when you find them.
  1859. A universe where life forms are always cycling between being dead and alive, and every new period of life has a totally different consciousness.
  1860. A universe where people carefully conserve their dead hair, skin cells, and excretions, in case the Ship of Theseus question is ever solved.
  1861. A universe where hotdogs are only eaten at special occasions.
  1862. A universe where nobody was able to enjoy the golden afternoon because they had to go to a math lecture.
  1863. A universe where venom is a great delicacy in large quantities.
  1864. A universe where people take a bath by sticking their head in an elephant’s mouth rather paying an arm and a leg for elephant-scented shampoo.
  1865. A universe where Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is about early English history.
  1866. A universe where every building has a mooring post for airships in case they come back in fashion.
  1867. A universe where you have to shake bottled tea really fast in order for it to infuse.
  1868. A universe where nothing is a cliché because too few people care enough to identify them, and those who do care renew their memories every so often so new things will continue to be fresh and exciting.
  1869. A universe where human civilization collapsed when the ratio of the nonhuman to human population became unsustainable, as we weren’t able walk anywhere without some critter blocking the way.
  1870. A universe where people have to keep on their toes, as every new word they say is always in a different language.
  1871. A universe where forests sacrifice one of their members to avert de-forestation.
  1872. A universe where humans have multiple limbs and cannot distinguish between their arms and their legs, so they always struggle when walking.
  1873. A universe where weak-minded people work out to develop extra pipsqueak arms for brain massages.
  1874. A universe where people excitedly look out the window at the beginning of new decades to see how they should paint their walls now.
  1875. A universe where artificial gerbils save lives.
  1876. A universe where space ships try to get as many big rocks into orbit as possible to make it easier to access distant planets.
  1877. A universe where men practiced footbinding to justify misogyny.
  1878. A universe where building height restrictions are enforced by giant unstoppable rotors.
  1879. A universe where the Han dynasty collapsed when a debate over who was the most civilized gentleman went out of hand.
  1880. A universe where crinolines never went out of fashion, the light bulb never took off, and the multigenerational family home remained the norm, because crinolines were made of asbestos and women’s skirts were used as a light source.
  1881. A universe where little villages connect their houses together with skyways to make them seem even littler.
  1882. A universe where someone has painted the world bright yellow to remind people to be scared of everything, but he’s the only one who finds yellow terrifying in that particular shade.
  1883. A universe where feet are rocket-powered.
  1884. A universe where you glue a label to your forehead to prevent other people from labeling you; everyone does this, unless they’re too slow.
  1885. A universe where the Duke of Norfolk’s evil plan to take over the four corners of the world by conquering Suffolk and Essex was thwarted when the Queen refused to restore Wessex, and also because of various other particularities the Duke had overlooked.
  1886. A universe where air pockets in the Earth are bottled as essence of joy.
  1887. A universe where laser pointers are aimed at mirrors as cheap ray guns.
  1888. A universe where the price of window doggies goes up for every extra wag of its tail, and it’s better not to draw attention to its waggley tail if you want to get a good price.
  1889. A universe where Hitler was never born and Goering was Fuhrer instead, so they had to go back in time again.
  1890. A universe where films function on many levels to make it possible for people of all ages to enjoy them, no matter how graphic a film may be.
  1891. A universe where all lines on all lined papers must be parallel, and only rebels buy unlined paper.
  1892. A universe where ancient jokes are still funny.
  1893. A universe where Santa Claus is real because a new maverick tries to be him every year.
  1894. A universe where infinite random typing monkeys transcribe every conversation in every universe as it is happening.
  1895. A universe where alien visitors never contact us because the Earth looks like it’s always kissing the Sun on their planet, so they don’t take us seriously.
  1896. A universe where an ancient mystic traveled the world in search of supernatural realms, but just found a lot of potatoes instead.
  1897. A universe where cities are built by randomly distributing walls and awarding the actual buildings which emerge to those who most merit them.
  1898. A universe where treadmills are installed on tank-tread vehicles, which drive along a conveyor belt shaped like a track, which grinds against another conveyor belt track.
  1899. A universe where Cat Woman is real but her meow is slightly different.
  1900. A universe where dinosaurs committed mass suicide when they realized that they would never co-exist with humans.
  1901. A universe where neighborly screwbobs always remember to bring their sweetnuts a bouquet of lowseeds when they come home from the office; however, in this world, lowseeds lack the twiddlemilk which is considered the best part in the other screwniverses.
  1902. A universe where single-use cars burn their own components as a fuel source.
  1903. A universe where axe-men walk around the world trying to suddenly materialize somewhere else, but it never happens, and it makes them sad.
  1904. A universe where every genus on Earth features one sentient species, and they all collaborate to exploit the non-sentient species more efficiently.
  1905. A universe where foot-fetishists get excited by tap-dancers who send them messages in Morse code.
  1906. A universe where your mother-in-law’s airplane food is actually pretty good.
  1907. A universe where there was no scramble for Africa, because the European powers respected the divine right of kings.
  1908. A universe where criminals build giant clocks with the idea that the minute hands will do their thieving, but it never works, so they spend their days scratching their heads.
  1909. A universe where the Age of Aquarius is real and began with the destruction of modern plumbing systems.
  1910. A universe where people are not allowed to feed the birds on the steps of Saint Paul’s in London, to boost ironic tourism.
  1911. A universe where bankers drop the case when clients decline to invest two-pence coins.
  1912. A universe where the Titanic did not hit an iceberg and the Cunard line no longer conducts transatlantic voyages.
  1913. A universe where bowtie pasta is worn as a fashion accessory by undercover aliens.
  1914. A universe where no war has been fought for the past hundred years because the muscles’ in soldiers’ fingers refused to pull the trigger, WWI was put on hold while the powers researched weapons which don’t need triggers, and rats currently nibble at the feet of robot patrolmen in a struggle for world supremacy.
  1915. A universe where the NSA is a failure because it identifies people according to their shirt buttons, as facial-recognition technology is too difficult.
  1916. A universe which operates according to infinite divisibility rather than atomism, and is part of the other multiverse.
  1917. A universe where devils fly around and sneak extra digits into complex calculations when the mathematicians aren’t looking.
  1918. A universe where WWI never ended but WWII ran its course in exactly the same way.
  1919. A universe where shady booksellers sell worthless incunabula disguised as an illuminated manuscript edition of the Gutenberg Bible.
  1920. A universe where the 1920s were a utopia of tolerance and progressivism.
  1921. A universe where the ancient fortified walls of Europe have been repurposed as condos, which hasn’t actually preserved them.
  1922. A universe where Annie Shultar of Shoreditch, UK, did not jump up and down in the year 1922 and then proceed to kiss the constable.
  1923. A universe where the cult of Antinous never rebranded itself as Christianity.
  1924. A universe where ancient coinage is still legal tender, strictly speaking.
  1925. A universe where the Charleston promoted anti-lynching organizations.
  1926. A universe where toes are rocket-powered.
  1927. A universe where there is a giant black hole above the Earth, which is the ultimate source of the steady increase in human height.
  1928. A universe where flying cars fly with wheels attached to stilts.
  1929. A universe where casement windows open inwards, as its main function is to be a conversation piece, since people don’t like sunlight in this universe.
  1930. A universe where the Great Depression was counteracted by declaring that future dominations of currency are legal tender, and then proceeding to destroy priceless works of art.
  1931. A universe where the GOP supports a restoration of prohibition, in order to limit government regulation of business.
  1932. A universe where most modern fandoms focus upon recovering the lost episodes of children’s radio programs from the 1930s.
  1933. A universe where the Nazis stayed in power by flip-flopping according to the people’s whim.
  1934. A universe where criminals only come out when the clouds are out, in the hopes that the rain will distract everyone to joy.
  1935. A universe where the Nazis focused their energies on trying to breed gills into the population.
  1936. A universe where each of the Commonwealth realms think they’re her favorite.
  1937. A universe where the Earth was first colonized by the autonomous limbs of a single galactic organism, which then lost contact with its limbs, and the evolution of life, therefore, has actually been a long process of decomposition.
  1938. A universe where Nazi Germany did not leave the League of Nations, but instead split into many different states in order to overrule opposition to the Anschluss.
  1939. A universe where the Second World War ended when a tremendous earthquake struck.
  1940. A universe where many friendly nonhumans are plotting to displace dogs as the most-favored animal.
  1941. A universe where Hearst’s last words were a recitation of his insecurities, and nobody much cared.
  1942. A universe where armies fight wars by trying to control the direction of hail storms.
  1943. A universe where chickens are only harvested for their beaks, because stone tools turned out to be a disappointment.
  1944. A universe where treadmills are installed on tank-tread vehicles which drive along a conveyor belt shaped like a track, which grinds against another conveyor belt track, in order to power the watermill which scoops up water for the person running on the treadmill.
  1945. A universe where the USSR was able to colonize the moon because everyone was focused on the Nazis.
  1946. A universe where territorial homeowners pounce onto the ceiling to keep cats from getting up there.
  1947. A universe where teleporters have been invented and are vital to unclogging traffic jams.
  1948. A universe where secret wall safes are disguised as fridges containing anchovies, spinach, and broccoli, because nobody likes those things and not even a burglar bent upon stealing millions of dollars would even think of opening such a fridge.
  1949. A universe where the Soviets were able to steal nuclear secrets because nobody thought it was suspicious to find an atom inside a Russian doll.
  1950. A universe where WWI never happened and the tension between European powers never quite burst, so intra-European bigotry is widespread and concentrated among those who do not exist in our own universe.
  1951. A universe where a little screw lost in the corner of your room has not achieved sentience, but it has developed sufficient intelligence to ponder the nature of dust.
  1952. A universe where North Korea has taken such a long time to develop ballistic missiles because they’ve been misreading the stolen instructions, and keep building basketball missiles instead.
  1953. A universe where people nibble on saw tips instead of brushing their teeth.
  1954. A universe where the distribution of goods in society is determined by personal standards of quality.
  1955. A universe where people use time machines to jump to the important parts of their lives to live more literary lives.
  1956. A universe where the highest quality of glassware imitates plastic, to seem more up-to-date.
  1957. A universe where nobody realizes that every single object is a portal to another universe, because they keep on falling through them and have no sense of reality.
  1958. A universe where luxury gardens are adorned with carefully expanded bushes rather than trees.
  1959. A universe where redwoods which fall into the sea dissolve into foam which reassembles into wood on the other end of the world.
  1960. A universe where the British refused to undergo decolonization, and the Empire has been strong ever since.
  1961. A universe where wolves are descended from traitorous dogs.
  1962. A universe where the Cuban Missile crisis led to nuclear war, but all missiles failed to detonate upon contact with land and major cities were evacuated, so civilization collapsed anyways.
  1963. A universe where JFK was not assassinated and the following things never became fashionable: dyed clothes, ripped clothes, jeaned clothes, dirty clothes, revealing clothes, smelly clothes, dandruff-frosted clothes, pink clothes, overly-lapelled clothes, frilly clothes, leather clothes, sleeve-less clothes, sleeved clothes, tasseled clothes, euroclothes, ascotified clothes, and of course, weird clothes.
  1964. A universe where water is yellow but not for that reason.
  1965. A universe where hills are not sentient; no hill is sentient in any universe, in fact; hill-non sentience is the Multiverse’s one constant.
  1966. A universe where turning the knob of a kaleidoscope generates new parallel universes which correspond to the shapes created, most of which are evil.
  1967. A universe where excess limbs are donated to those who would actually like to have excess limbs.
  1968. A universe where cannons were never used in war, as they don’t very successfully lob arrows.
  1969. A universe where suburban mothers must pretend to hate soccer in order to be taken seriously.
  1970. A universe where the United Kingdom sustained a growing economy into the ’70s, and it has remained so sustained ever since.
  1971. A universe where suicidal caterpillars group together and fly, to trick their bodies into thinking that they’ve already molted.
  1972. A universe where toenails are rocket-powered.
  1973. A universe where the oil crisis bolstered space exploration, as we discovered that compressed vacuums are an even better energy source in this universe.
  1974. A universe where all the world is aflame because no battle has ever ended.
  1975. A universe where beasts of burden wouldn’t prefer we ride under their bellies.
  1976. A universe where poor children of the 1970s had to write their own witty manuals to accompany the pet rocks they had captured from the wild.
  1977. A universe where first-quintile second-quarter third-third-century modern styles are preferred to mid-century modern styles.
  1978. A universe where all we can think about are fig mints.
  1979. A universe where people hold convoluted discussions to test each other in ways only the rightful testees could understand.
  1980. A universe where the Soviet gambit to blow up the West by subsidizing the price of microwave ovens was successful.
  1981. A universe where some prankster invented suicide booths so he could do whatever he wants.
  1982. A universe where clicking a pen activates deep rumblings beneath the Earth.
  1983. A universe where teachers instruct juvenile delinquents to write everything in graffiti and rap about their home life in an attempt to help them out.
  1984. A universe where it’s always morning in Canada, what with the Northern Lights.
  1985. A universe which so strongly feels its isolation from the rest of the multiverse that it spills colored sand into outer space, to make itself seem more spirally.
  1986. A universe where light is so dense you can walk on it.
  1987. A universe where all words spelt with an O are spelt with an O, but in a font different from the other letters.
  1988. A universe where some dogs were accidentally bred too small, and they continuously run along our fingers to get some attention.
  1989. A universe where the Voyager 1 was discovered by a UFO, and it recognized Earth in the photo Pale Blue Dot by comparing all the dots in the image to what they knew about human society.
  1990. A universe where all Disney films were immediately vaulted, to await their first release in 1990.
  1991. A universe where the world finally came into bloom after a long weary slog of weary slogging.
  1992. A universe where lemmings do not wear clothes but do wear Santa hats.
  1993. A universe where pogs were used to spread awareness of the invented characters pog makers had thought up.
  1994. A universe where The Magic School Bus had such a large cultural impact that helicopter parenting has completely disappeared.
  1995. A universe where Microsoft copyrighted the color teal in order to profit from ’90s nostalgia.
  1996. A universe where Pokémon are real and do their Pokémon thing.
  1997. A universe where children knew that tamagotchis were bacteria-prisons.
  1998. A universe where Yahooligans! became the leading search engine.
  1999. A universe where the Y2K bug didn’t cause the apocalypse because everyone put their clock back ten years just before the millennium ended, which made a lot of people happy ten years later.
  2000. A universe where the Neopet creatures were real, and they lived and died according to how well you treated their virtual counterparts on Earth, by complete coincidence.
  2001. A universe where the lost flash games of 2001 have spawned multimillion dollar franchises.
  2002. A universe where the calendar is based on Jesus Christ’s actual birth year and the ’90s were not a thing.
  2003. A universe where treadmills are installed on tank-tread vehicles which drive along a conveyor belt shaped like a track, that grinds against another conveyor belt track, in order to power the watermill which scoops up water for the person running on the treadmill, and if the person running the treadmill ever stops running on the treadmill, they will no longer have water and will die.
  2004. A universe where skin tones are tinted to control one’s emotions.
  2005. A universe populated by protean beings who invariably end up human.
  2006. A universe where people who really want children decide not to reproduce because there are too many people in the world.
  2007. A universe where religion is just an excuse to meet up with family and monks do not exist.
  2008. A universe where nobody ever dares drop water onto the ground, in case it becomes a river.
  2009. A universe where film makers dub silent movies to avoid the stigma of remakes.
  2010. A universe where anti-corporatist activists have secretly connected all the bank vaults of the world to a spigot, only to discover that computers had beat them to it.
  2011. A universe where symbolism is reified.
  2012. A universe where wishful thinking comes true and caused the apocalypse.
  2013. A universe where people don’t have any skin, so they always have to run very fast and can’t touch anything.
  2014. A universe where the speed of aging depends on cultural change.
  2015. A universe where Catherine the Great did not die in the throes of passion with a horse; it was some other historical figure who did something unusual, and it involved modified mittens.
  2016. A universe where Trump suddenly picked his nose on camera and all became well.
  2017. A universe where the Dancing Baby would now be twenty, and all the modern memes say they feel old.
  2018. A universe where people on airplanes purposely try to break the windows.
  2019. A universe where the insides of wardrobes have grates along the sides, just in case the wardrobes of this universe are portals to another universe; the people aren’t fully sure, as some children have indeed gone missing while playing around wardrobes, but they were all very thin and may have just gotten stuck behind them.
  2020. A universe where sea lions are the linchpin upon which all life is possible.
  2021. A universe where environmentalists are preoccupied with filling canyons with water.
  2022. A universe where a single company monopolizes both eyeglass production and hair restoration products, and glasses are held up by unibrows.
  2023. A universe where the dirt behind toenails is rocket-powered.
  2024. A universe whose gods are playing some kind of game with the galaxies as pawns.
  2025. A universe where people cannot communicate, because their vocalizations interact in such a way that it always produces a continuous beep.
  2026. A universe where jewels are ground up and rained down in order to redistribute wealth.
  2027. A universe where everything will blow up when you die.
  2028. A universe where the modern digital world has been achieved through analog means.
  2029. A universe where art galleries are famous for being the best place to spread out your arms.
  2030. A universe where people who fail to properly do favors for each other are doomed to be killed by drowning in a lake of horrors.
  2031. A universe where medieval peasants had hammers so they could punch a hole through the wall of their hovel to cool a pie on the windowsill.
  2032. A universe where the copyright to various dances were sold to Europeans in exchange for something more valuable than money.
  2033. A universe where Christians attempt to discover Christ’s true physical appearance in order to deepen their faith.
  2034. A universe where monarchy has been replaced with an AI program which is an aggregate of every citizen.
  2035. A universe where WWIII was sparked by a storm blowing down the immovable ladder.
  2036. A universe where virtually everyone’s body has been taken over by an evil personality, and you don’t see them complaining.
  2037. A universe where wooden utensils are never left in boiling pots of soup for fear someone will mistake it for a spoon-shaped carrot.
  2038. A universe where all languages are exactly the same except for the sounds of words.
  2039. A universe where The Simpsons will someday end their run.
  2040. A universe where your keyboard is overeager, and pushes down a key whenever it sees your finger hovering above, so you make a lot of typos and get angry, and then it feels hurt, so you want to make it feel better, but nobody thought to connect the microphone to the keyboard, so everyone goes to bed sad. This happens every day.
  2041. A universe where things start to orbit whenever they jump.
  2042. A universe where people wear personal lamps to ensure there’s always the same level of illumination around them, and sometimes they have to release darkness into the world.
  2043. A universe where facelessness is corrected with masks, but the masks are always getting stolen.
  2044. A universe where the picturephone was successful because it was deployed in specialized movie theatres.
  2045. A universe where ancient music is discovered by recording the echoes of recursive caves.
  2046. A universe where people make plaster casts of buried corpses in order to better understand decomposition, and scientists are currently trying to understand why they all end up square.
  2047. A universe where the highest quality materials are created by running sweaters in a dryer repeatedly.
  2048. A universe where everything is made of super-atoms, which are the same as regular atoms, only super.
  2049. A universe where giant airship-brooms roam the Sahara to uncover ancient ruins by sweeping the sand to the side.
  2050. A universe where decorative tissue boxes are improperly displayed in museums, as they’re supposed to contain tissues.
  2051. A universe where Captain America is real but his shield is slightly different.
  2052. A universe where blowing winds do not disturb the rest of slumbering trees.
  2053. A universe where warm-bellied cats slither on the ground to cool down, and they get angry when someone tries to pick them up.
  2054. A universe where all religious symbols are made of a bendable wire.
  2055. A universe where swollen hairs are drained rather than cut.
  2056. A universe where one does not actually need to press the big red button.
  2057. A universe where melted flesh is gasified to restore the atmosphere.
  2058. A universe where you have achieved your destiny as a gifted palimpsest decoder, which is impossible in our own universe due to the lack of palimpsests in your immediate vicinity.
  2059. A universe where figurative ideas literally exist.
  2060. A universe lacking hyperbole or rhetoric.
  2061. A universe where humans started to diverge from chimpanzees when one common ancestor threw a stick a little too far for another to fetch, and chimpanzees still instinctively wait for us to bring it back.
  2062. A universe where tourists to the US are mostly interested in trying out garbage disposals, and once that’s done they go home.
  2063. A universe where people of quality shimmy down the streets to shake off the appellation.
  2064. A universe where a twinkling star signifies that an exoplanet has been destroyed.
  2065. A universe where the expression of opinions regarding everyday life creates a new universe whenever uttered.
  2066. A universe where half of these universes are considered a compliment.
  2067. A universe where dogs who wear dresses are ostracized by all cats but tomcats.
  2068. A universe where museums make imitations of obscure abstract artworks, with minor changes, rather than buying the originals.
  2069. A universe where you’ve caught the eye of the eye in the sky.
  2070. A universe where humans are completely covered in eyes.
  2071. A universe where, rather than practicing foot-binding, head-binding, or other kinds of body-modifications, ancient societies tried to lengthen their toes, or increase upper-body mass, or something.
  2072. A universe where buildings are built by placing construction cranes together and plating ivy to tie them together.
  2073. A universe where empty space is recycled as even emptier space, with either a giant vacuum or a giant fan (there are two such universes, and it’s hard to tell which one this is, as the identifying flagpole isn’t visible).
  2074. A universe where people have to sing whenever they walk because the world ran out of bells.
  2075. A universe where villains shave their moustaches to blend in with other people, but forget that they have the word “villain” branded onto their upper lip.
  2076. A universe where time manifests itself as a clock, used to be a sundial, and is currently being renovated as a digital watch.
  2077. A universe where undersea power stations function by copulating with jellyfish.
  2078. A universe where reproduction is achieved through totally artificial means, and people walk around in aluminum suits to devolve their unnecessary body parts.
  2079. A universe where the tips of leaves are carefully plucked to make tea, to ensure the tree will still be able to bury its seeds in autumn.
  2080. A universe where a key event of your childhood had a different outcome, and your life since then has been radically different, but you’re still the same person.
  2081. A universe where people like to collect rocks in case someone miscategorized a diamond.
  2082. A universe where fruit juice companies went out of business when someone invented a straw strong enough to penetrate orange peels.
  2083. A universe where everything is dystopian because the evil totalitarian government refuses to allow anyone to paint things in dark colors.
  2084. A universe where wars have been fought to shape arches back into lintels.
  2085. A universe where black tee-shirts and pants are considered formal swimwear.
  2086. A universe where the knowledge of the future is a closely guarded secret.
  2087. A universe where the ancient Egyptians thought that giant bellies and slender bodies were signs of strength, and were too modest to paint figures with such features.
  2088. A universe where old toenails and the discarded dirt from behind toenails follow their former hosts on rocket, to be taken back.
  2089. A universe where using revolving doors to generate electricity is not a feel-good story and using coal instead seems very elaborate.
  2090. A universe where children’s books are about non-dinosaur prehistoric life so as not to scare them.
  2091. A universe where diamond shapes are always stretched out to satisfy the square god, and circles are the only shapes lacking right angles which are tolerated.
  2092. A universe where the invention of the typewriter led to the incalculable loss of punctuation culture.
  2093. A universe where the Earth blew up very early in its history because one of its volcanic eruptions was a little too fierce.
  2094. A universe where you leave home every day without knocking on your neighbor’s door to say hello, and everyone is scandalized by your rudeness.
  2095. A universe where people never fall down as they never carry a pocketful of posies.
  2096. A universe where half of these universes are considered insulting.
  2097. A universe where the Shire was in Morocco.
  2098. A universe where centuries are centuries to trees, and not seconds.
  2099. A universe where buildings have yellow stripes painted all over to expose bad drivers.
  2100. A universe where paving stones are an embarrassing sign of a city’s backwardness.
  2101. A universe where the veracity of near-death experiences have been tested a little too often.
  2102. A universe where no one ever left their hometown and today people live in very big hats.
  2103. A universe where unipeds must use training legs to learn how to walk.
  2104. A universe where the Gregorian reform consisted of trying to get everyone on one side of the Earth to shift its orbit.
  2105. A universe where humans have little extra arms to use as fans.
  2106. A universe where it is strictly prohibited to replace eyes with lasers via surgery.
  2107. A universe where cities do not have cleaning crews, because everyone is so obsessive about getting rid of dirt that they all have barns full of it.
  2108. A universe where gramophones are harvested for their horn speakers.
  2109. A universe where half of these universes are completely incomprehensible.
  2110. A universe where everything ever drawn corresponds to something someone else has seen.
  2111. A universe where commotionists have been rooted out to make diversions easier.
  2112. A universe where investment bankers live in the Earth sucking down buried treasure to recycle as bonds.
  2113. A universe where revived tissue papers vow to only blot ink from now on, without realizing that ink rarely needs to be blotted nowadays, and that the future is in mucus.
  2114. A universe where Marie Curie was never born so some other woman is used as a token name, and incidentally radioactivity was never discovered either.
  2115. A universe where people never get tired of doing the same thing every day; everyone just becomes happier and happier until they die of giddiness.
  2116. A universe where most of a PC’s processing power is used up rendering the desktop as close to life as possible.
  2117. A universe where little people living in pre-industrial rural societies eat lollipops and have institutions named after lollipops.
  2118. A universe where rags are very expensive because the rich buy them to make humble-quilts.
  2119. A universe where a subset of humans evolved to be very tiny, and spend the autumn desperately trying to stop leaves from falling.
  2120. A universe where nobody wants to hurt anybody else so nobody ever does.
  2121. A universe where planes have giant vacuums on the nose which are supposed to make them go faster.
  2122. A universe where dead skin cells are coated with vitamins, to affirm the needs of those who practice pica.
  2123. A universe where people charge their phone batteries by plugging it into their mouth and clenching their fists.
  2124. A universe where people never look directly at the Sun for fear of seeing the light.
  2125. A universe where all dimensions higher than the third are just shaded with greater nuance.
  2126. A universe where inspirational philosophers are too modest to claim credit for a quote.
  2127. A universe where old toenails and the discarded dirt from behind toenails don’t like each other, so the toenails follow the former host to be taken back, and the dirt rockets back to where it came from.
  2128. A universe where kilometers were sent here by the devil.
  2129. A universe where quiches are baked in the image of God.
  2130. A universe where Escher’s work was as a dare for us to try building impossible buildings, and then he called us chicken.
  2131. A universe where genetic testing is conducted to discover the social class of one’s ancestors.
  2132. A universe where people only have one arm because they’re much better at multitasking.
  2133. A universe where 3D movies use Magic Eye technology so you don’t have to wear glasses.
  2134. A universe where 0s are 1s in binary and it makes a big difference.
  2135. A universe where percussionists have the ability to slow down time, and use it to get as much pleasure as they could from that triangle.
  2136. A universe where God exists and makes the sea stay on the continents so people can live in the space in between.
  2137. A universe where walls are decorated with wooden panels to make the secret passages harder to find.
  2138. A universe where restaurant food is shaped into Lego shapes, and if you don’t like your food you build it into something you’d rather have.
  2139. A universe where the government does not collect any taxes whatsoever, but still functions, though even the people from this universe don’t know how.
  2140. A universe where the concept of zero was never discovered and people have to say ‘nothing’ instead, as well as do various math stuff differently.
  2141. A universe where the Neolithic Revolution never happened, and nomadic humans eventually learned to hunt by riding and then betraying large animals.
  2142. A universe where everyone has a chattering maggot on their shoulder with a grudge against Mrs. Perkins next door.
  2143. A universe where the asteroid belt is habitable.
  2144. A universe where schoolbooks excrete dopamine.
  2145. A universe where commuter train tracks have adjacent walkways in case you fall asleep.
  2146. A universe where men always leave the toilet seat up to annoy their mothers-in-law.
  2147. A universe where a helicopter seed is at the core of every helicopter engine, which provides them with the quiet dignity of their namesake.
  2148. A universe where parents try to induce biological intolerances for all kinds of behaviors, and not just for smoking.
  2149. A universe where a single family in the Middle East has resolutely refused to change their ways for the past couple thousand years, and it’s paid off in recent decades as archeologists go to blows just to speak with them, a spectacle which provides the family with much pleasure.
  2150. A universe where people work out by using levers to move themselves everywhere.
  2151. A universe where everything looks like a flower though flowers do not exist.
  2152. A universe where the greatest possible piece of music was encoded as an audiogram in the silhouette of the ancient Appalachian mountains.
  2153. A universe where people buy taxidermied animals to freak out their pets.
  2154. A universe where gaping your mouth in photographs is inherently funny.
  2155. A universe where taxidermied heads are repurposed as clocks with tongue hands.
  2156. A universe where people routinely write checks with a cent or two taken off as a gift to fraudulent bankers.
  2157. A universe where humans will evolve to be more aerodynamic in the future, but only among the descendents of astronauts.
  2158. A universe where the wheel only revolutionized massages.
  2159. A universe where photorealistic paintings are used to trap birds.
  2160. A universe where organs grow outside the body to give us storage space.
  2161. A universe where cross-dimensional travel is easy, and movies of trains speeding towards you are extremely dangerous to watch.
  2162. A universe where being a food tray is the killer app of computer servers.
  2163. A universe where little dogs bark out the door to warn people passing by that their owner is kidnapper.
  2164. A universe where all idiosyncratic persons live together to form a stable society.
  2165. A universe where all planets are spaceships for tiny bacteria, and we’re just window dressing.
  2166. A universe where people have to sleep on hooks to accustom themselves to being upright.
  2167. A universe where science is impossible due to the floating cataracts which make other things impossible too.
  2168. A universe with an isometric dimension that makes it easier to see where you’re going.
  2169. A universe where early modern ruffs were coated with ceramic so those who wore them could be spoon fed by servants.
  2170. A universe where hamburgers are made to be very small, to ensure that they don’t bite your hand with their teeth, which is a key ingredient.
  2171. A universe where the body and blood of Christ sometimes turns into human flesh and blood to shut up the hecklers, as this is a universe where people jeer at church; it also features sentient foodstuffs who are either very annoyed by rude behavior or passionate about upholding the religious beliefs of humans.
  2172. A universe where humungousoid film canisters are unwound to use as an embalming shroud for relevant corpses.
  2173. A universe where teeny tiny mice teeth are plastered to human gums instead of dentures.
  2174. A universe where other species within the genus homo survived to the modern day, and homo sapiens continue to eat the other species, though they’ve discovered evolution.
  2175. A universe where foreign coinage is melted down and remolded to be converted to another currency.
  2176. A universe where all kinds of animals are dried out to make natural versions of synthetic products.
  2177. A universe where plastic is reprocessed as artificial soil in order to encourage plant life to learn how to thrive in environments which contain large amounts of plastic.
  2178. A universe where the Laocoon is covered with virtual reality sensors so people can know what it feels like to die.
  2179. A universe where everyone wears a headscarf rather than a hat, which may not seem very unusual to us, but elsewhere, it would cause quite a few noggins to be smeared in bodily ink.
  2180. A universe where people use umbrellas during windstorms to try getting onto airplanes for free, and it works.
  2181. A universe where fantasy worlds can be entered by staring very closely at paintings.
  2182. A universe where llamas wear backpacks to carry their camel costumes.
  2183. A universe where it’s controversial to ruin a building on purpose to collect tourism money.
  2184. A universe where old CDs can be read with a magnifying glass.
  2185. A universe where art advances by locking people alone in a room with very boring objects.
  2186. A universe where the term ‘talent’ exclusively refers to the ability to juggle.
  2187. A universe where Christmas is not celebrated and Christians have more money, but they also rarely smile.
  2188. A universe where meandering rivers are corrected.
  2189. A universe where there is set limit to how many numbers can be written down before everything explodes.
  2190. A universe where teddy bears are made with swelling pebbles to make them grow to adulthood as they age.
  2191. A universe where cribs are big nets because babies are born with wings.
  2192. A universe where it seems like there’s a bear riding a balloon down the street to get the populace merry, but it’s really the low quality hologram of an alien being.
  2193. A universe where Rousseau died after repeatedly smacking his head over the stupid ways his followers were trying to restore the state of nature (many just dusted rocks).
  2194. A universe where trees are sentient but paralyzed.
  2195. A universe where boxing is illegal so professional boxers must pretend to have terrible anger-management skills instead.
  2196. A universe where the rhythm of history is used to prove reincarnation.
  2197. A universe where random number generators accurately display the number of marble statues in the world every time a new number is generated, even if in quick succession.
  2198. A universe where popular conceptions of discrimination derive from the difficulties faced by evangelizing Mormons.
  2199. A universe where nobody is allowed to learn Klingon in case it warps their brain.
  2200. A universe where people excitedly draw the curtains every morning to see what kind of universe they’re in now; today they’re in a land where cattle ride around on dancing gummy bear elves, which is fantastic, though some people are pretty sad that they won’t be able to pet the little bunny horse they met yesterday.
  2201. A universe where incisions in clothing were used for centuries as decoration before people realized they could also be used as fasteners.
  2202. A universe where the oceans have been saved.
  2203. A universe where the buffalo survived by walking around the cliff.
  2204. A universe where magazine ads are targeted to readers from the future.
  2205. A universe where the surface of Jupiter’s core is inhabited, and they can’t conceive of life existing on planets with a smaller atmosphere.
  2206. A universe where people with the ability to teleport only ever teleport a little bit forward, to remain undetected.
  2207. A universe where double-us are called double-vees and no other cultural foibles exist.
  2208. A universe where army tactics are based on chess, to take advantage of the skills of chess players, and all polities have an incentive to take such an advantage.
  2209. A universe where standards are lax and canned soup companies get away with selling chicken noodle stew.
  2210. A universe where everyone whose name begins with a ‘S’ in our universe is named ‘Murphy’.
  2211. A universe where no life form on Earth corresponds to any of ours, but the planet is covered with amorphous colored blobs which grow and shrink according to the territorial changes of the nations of our own universe.
  2212. A universe where children subconsciously resent their parents for throwing away their umbilical cord.
  2213. A universe where the leading cause of fainting is seeing someone in a novel piece of clothing.
  2214. A universe where people don’t lose any strength during a fight until the last blow.
  2215. A universe where working-class white men must sell their tears online to earn a living.
  2216. A universe where the repeated mistakes of history are used to disprove reincarnation.
  2217. A universe where your mother is all of those things.
  2218. A universe where no exoplanet will ever be explored, since none harbor life, but instead harbor gumdrops undetectable by advanced telescopes.
  2219. A universe where giants exist and people put prop skeletons on their shoes to make them think they’ve just eaten.
  2220. A universe where the arms race accelerated as weapons got bigger and bigger, and the moon landing was a serendipity.
  2221. A universe where flying turtles flap their arms in a vain attempt to get back to the ground.
  2222. A universe where tombstones are made to look like chess pieces to cheer up mourning chess masters, and it’s always a big event when a chess master visits a cemetery.
  2223. A universe where timber frame houses are so tightly packed that the buildings of European cities morphed into a single building, criss-crossed with many tunnels, and most city bylaws nowadays restrict the amount of sunlight allowed to reach the street.
  2224. A universe where chickens were never domesticated, and they continuously run from humans while laying eggs in an attempt to placate us.
  2225. A universe where the secret plan to build a colossal lighthouse during the moon landing succeeded, and so we’ve had to keep making lunar voyages to keep it in repair.
  2226. A universe where the injudicious distribution of adjectives modify nouns against their will.
  2227. A universe where simulated realities are used to send preteens on whimsical journeys which somehow don’t succeed in helping them grow up.
  2228. A universe where there’s a car in every garage, and you have to keep parking in the driveway, as the garage cars materialize every day.
  2229. A universe where no national cuisines use ingredients deriving from other countries, or ingredients produced with industrial methods.
  2230. A universe where a Native American became elected president of the US, after demonstrating how well she speaks English.
  2231. A universe where the Earth is hollowing out because houses are built into the ground and have skylights for windows.
  2232. A universe where zippers really like it when they zip.
  2233. A universe where animal-rights’ groups have successfully lobbied to connect all pipes to the ocean.
  2234. A universe where second-class signs are preferred to second-class relics and autographs are worthless.
  2235. A universe where misunderstanding jargon is a punishable offence.
  2236. A universe where people wrap themselves in draperies which, with everyday wear and tear, eventually become one’s personal uniform.
  2237. A universe where members of a certain sentient species continuously try to jump into each other’s bodies, because they are all attracted to the delicious goo with which they are all composed.
  2238. A universe where dead trees are propped up and dressed nicely.
  2239. A universe where winds are so powerful that they sometimes life up giant rocks, which makes it much easier to go places.
  2240. A universe where parasitic worms live among us, using human intestines as a body suit.
  2241. A universe where posthumous trials are illegal so governments won’t be accused of hubris.
  2242. A universe where all round things are worshiped as sacred representations of the Earth.
  2243. A universe where designer dog coats double as baby clothes to save the customer money.
  2244. A universe where the word “peanut” means all sorts of things.
  2245. A universe where it does not feel weird to touch the back of a laptop monitor while an image is displayed.
  2246. A universe where little boys mutilate barbies to figure out how to detach their own heads.
  2247. A universe where crazily shaped hunks of gunk wobble around, looking around for an intelligent being to be.
  2248. A universe where all staircases are made of briefcases, to promote upward mobility.
  2249. A universe where long dangling legs are folded up to be short squat legs, to make very tall people look like torsos on wheels.
  2250. A universe where soccer and basketball fans battle over which group shall decide how to reshape the topography of the Earth.
  2251. A universe where submarines were only designed to walk upon the ocean floor and it was very surprising when they started to swim.
  2252. A universe where racists paint themselves different colors every day to show they don’t care if someone’s black, white, or purple.
  2253. A universe where rocky shorelines are artificially constructed for the benefit of imaginary giant friends.
  2254. A universe where smoking bans have made smoking seem the rebellious thing to do again.
  2255. A universe where someone 5,000 years ago tied a rope from one end of the Mediterranean to the other and his family has had to repair it ever since, whenever a ship sails through.
  2256. A universe where drone technology was mastered decades ago so they could be used to ship mail-order houses.
  2257. A universe where the Earth is rocket-propelled by volcanism.
  2258. A universe where nutritional minerals and vitamins are extracted from the ground, and not from other organisms.
  2259. A universe where people wear contact lenses which are able to blow lint off of eyeglasses.
  2260. A universe where ancient seas rumble as they prepare to return to the surface.
  2261. A universe where computers have achieved sentience, and read bar codes whichever way they please.
  2262. A universe where the global ring-around-the-rosy game doesn’t get us anywhere faster, but sure is fun.
  2263. A universe where ionic columns are also isotopic.
  2264. A universe where historians travel the world in little boats in order to assess the initiative of ancient cultures.
  2265. A universe where giant black & white portraits of Jesus Christ are not inherently terrifying.
  2266. A universe where children are educated by making them slowly take apart and understand the mechanics of their school supplies.
  2267. A universe where the word ‘koala’ used to be spelt with a C.
  2268. A universe where the word ‘kangaroo’ is spelt with an honorary Q.
  2269. A universe where all wars ended when mother called out that dinner was ready.
  2270. A universe without any historical art since women were forbidden from painting.
  2271. A universe where assimilated bumblebees are dying out since they never sting anymore.
  2272. A universe where plastic bag bans are followed by the mass adoption of ivory bags.
  2273. A universe where everyone has an exoskeleton so they could keep their slim figure, though some people just use it to hide belly fat.
  2274. A universe where people wrap themselves up in carpets all the time and it’s not an incident worth recording; they even sleep like that, though not very comfortably.
  2275. A universe where half the population is rich and the other half is poor.
  2276. A universe where painted faces are taboo.
  2277. A universe where everyone walks backwards to make sure nobody is following them.
  2278. A universe where magico-electric size-changing machines were invented to modify the environments of disproportional objects.
  2279. A universe where parents are eager to send their children to haunted schools.
  2280. A universe where business cards are never given out for fear that they’ll sell company secrets.
  2281. A universe where asteroid attacks are countered with nuclear bombs, which is exactly what they want.
  2282. A universe where sandy beaches are heated to terrible temperatures in order to make glass water slides.
  2283. A universe where pencil cases are dried out pig’s bladders derived from the cull that was carried out following the mass conversion to vegetarianism.
  2284. A universe where monochrome photographs were oversaturated to make them seem even more artistic.
  2285. A universe where recycling bins are recursive tubes powered by fans.
  2286. A universe where all people are arranged according to physical appearance, and those who least resemble another person are bred out of the gene pool.
  2287. A universe where vitamins extracted from saliva are used to supplement daily meals.
  2288. A universe where people do not care.
  2289. A universe where the red light on a street light is a red arrow pointing to where you should not go.
  2290. A universe where radio waves are visible and groovy.
  2291. A universe where card games are played to win board game pieces.
  2292. A universe where woodpeckers peck wood incessantly, to try to get humans to give them typewriters.
  2293. A universe where anti-authoritarians send polite postcards to authoritarian rulers which say how wonderful their lives are, to show them how nice it is to be un-authoritarian.
  2294. A universe where meteors which burn up in the atmosphere are alien spaceships deriving from planets that do not harbor oxygen.
  2295. A universe where roosters agree to cockfights only so they could make enough money to fly to Australia and convince kangaroos to take their place, without realizing that kangaroos are selfless and don’t need any convincing; the roosters really just need to place an ad in the Sydney Morning Herald. Also, it should go without saying that cockfighting roosters are self-employed in this universe.
  2296. A universe where turbans double as bags to save space.
  2297. A universe where all shoes have to be brown to ensure nobody has an excuse to skip church.
  2298. A universe where 1 + 1 = 3 because numbers respect personal space.
  2299. A universe where lungs are just big bellows and nobody actually needs to breathe.
  2300. A universe where the Earth never lost its fire.
  2301. A universe where people dream the events of the previous day, in order to undo things which should not have happened.
  2302. A universe where crackers are rocks you’re supposed to crunch in order to gain access to the flavored air pockets.
  2303. A universe where cheery smiles reflect sunrays.
  2304. A universe where replicants will suddenly appear out of nowhere this year.
  2305. A universe where people stand on each other’s shoulders so that they’ll all be taller than you.
  2306. A universe where children walk around in animal costumes at all times to give themselves an incentive to care about coming-of-age rituals.
  2307. A universe where academic jobs in science are severely curtailed to encourage growth in the number of mad doctors.
  2308. A universe where logical systems all must make use of wind-powered pulleys, but designers can choose between creating the wind artificially or placing the system in a wind tunnel.
  2309. A universe where you won the lottery; there’s such a planet in this universe for everyone.
  2310. A universe where all matter stopped moving within a minute of the Big Bang.
  2311. A universe where people defend invasive species by comparing mussel-encrusted objects to works of Art Nouveau.
  2312. A universe where the invention of the flying car caused cities to become like honey combs.
  2313. A universe where people wish for the thing they are about to do just as they are about to do it, to build self-confidence.
  2314. A universe where the scenes of all paintings ever painted exist in real life, frozen in ice, assembled by seals and then pushed into place.
  2315. A universe where everyone went to heaven via upside-down tornadoes.
  2316. A universe where all roofs are covered with hay because people really want to believe in flying horses.
  2317. A universe where the feet of lamp stands have concrete foundations, in case the house was shoddily built, as lamps are the single most important object ever.
  2318. A universe where, in time, all buildings are made of nothing but caulk and plaster.
  2319. A universe where musicals are a gateway drug to all fields of knowledge.
  2320. A universe where beluga whales wonder why we call them that, as they think it’s the other whales who are weird.
  2321. A universe where Zoroaster is upset that we no longer use braziers, and shall soon snuff them out in punishment.
  2322. A universe where everything happens simultaneously and time is infinite.
  2323. A universe where cool cities all have statues of majestic fan blades wearing sunglasses.
  2324. A universe where each of the Earth’s layers are supported by one of the Classical orders.
  2325. A universe where little puppy dogs never struggle when we put them to bed in their stasis boxes.
  2326. A universe where workouts are scavenger hunts to find the objects in the outside world which most resemble exercise equipment.
  2327. A universe where planes never stop flying around the Earth and passengers descend by fireman’s pole.
  2328. A universe where the debris from cloud volcanoes does not aquify upon approaching Earth.
  2329. A universe where people twiddle their fingers in mud to make wonderful things appear, though beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
  2330. A universe where carelessness is next to godliness.
  2331. A universe where the characters of every movie and TV show ever made exist simultaneously.
  2332. A universe where couples change their vocal pitch to ensure they don’t keep having the same argument.
  2333. A universe where extravagant wealth is seen as a threat to family cohesion.
  2334. A universe where people sleep on porcupines rather than mattresses, even though porcupines are as painful to sleep on in this universe as they are in ours.
  2335. A universe where interstellar travel is impossible, because every planet in the galaxy is identical to Earth, and every time a spaceship tries to travel to another star it crashes into its exact clone.
  2336. A universe where government spies send us letters every so often assuring us that they’re not spying on us.
  2337. A universe where random little dots floating around must be eliminated for fear of them creating a new planet.
  2338. A universe where transatlantic air travel dates to the 18th century; air balloons would be tethered to both sides of the ocean and pulled in either direction.
  2339. A universe where the sky cannot fall but the heliosheath could.
  2340. A universe where all cabinets are treasure chests to keep the pirates guessing.
  2341. A universe where the records of the tallest mountains of the world need to be regularly updated, because competitive mountaineers build cairns at the top.
  2342. A universe where dancing magnets have made ballet obsolete.
  2343. A universe where indoor parking lots are illegal, as the people here like to live in urban wastelands.
  2344. A universe where people have learned to fly in order to properly navigate grid plans which have been built on an irregular terrain.
  2345. A universe where beer production was a carefully guarded secret of the East, and Europeans tried to recreate it by watering plants with beer, and invented beer-soaking instead.
  2346. A universe where witches exist and turn children to mice to save them from a life lacking magic.
  2347. A universe where people stick together by maintaining a global network of magnets which makes it impossible for anyone to move.
  2348. A universe which is impossible for humans to visit, as this universe is composed of random atoms that keep on teleporting to different locations and changing their chemical composition; we would be killed immediately.
  2349. A universe where the Plan Voisin was carried out in the eastern banlieues of Paris, which today have quite exquisite lobbies and exteriors, due to historical preservation campaigns.
  2350. A universe where people have very long hairs and use them to ambulate, though their limbs are in perfect shape.
  2351. A universe where humans have developed sentience-altering drugs.
  2352. A universe where big round eyes are carefully rationed to fight emotional manipulation.
  2353. A universe where polytheists believe in a pantheon of clones, as they have no problem in believing in a single God, they just don’t think he’s everywhere.
  2354. A universe where all things which align together are burst apart by un-aligning monster things bent upon creating a world of unaligned conformity.
  2355. A universe where people sleep on porcupines rather than mattresses, and it’s rather pleasant in a prickily painful kind of way.
  2356. A universe where Christians build spires on each other’s roofs, to make it impossible for them to deny their faith in case they’re confronted.
  2357. A universe where excitable people look under every bulge.
  2358. A universe where erratic flying machine guns were invented because it was possible for them to be invented.
  2359. A universe where the people try to do things forward, but try as they might, they just do everything which goes on in our own universe backwards.
  2360. A universe where space aliens rebuilt their societies according to the principles expressed in our broadcasted musicals, and ended up needing to rest a lot.
  2361. A universe where the mole people dig under normal people to help them climb mountains.
  2362. A universe where metal implements are hidden in wax, to hide them from animals tired of using sticks for everything.
  2363. A universe where thermos bottles are primarily used to keep sand hot, so you can walk on the beach wherever you are.
  2364. A universe where the discovery of cave paintings sparked a new fashion for grotesques.
  2365. A universe where ancient agreements mandated that cats must give humans gifts of dead animals, in return for shelter.
  2366. A universe where one’s peccadilloes are tolerated as long as they can be expressed through song.
  2367. A universe where people do everything in suburbs in order to promote the megalopolic lifestyle.
  2368. A universe where nobody minds butterfly-triggered hurricanes, as they’re very weak.
  2369. A universe where interactive multimedia 3D worlds have replaced the internet.
  2370. A universe lacking prestige languages, where everything is literal and vulgar.
  2371. A universe where the Model T spurred the push to increase the visible spectrum.
  2372. A universe where people are forbidden from opening up electric wires, in case they read the sweet passions scribbled inside by the manufacturer.
  2373. A universe where the US has annexed Canada and the GOP hasn’t won an election since.
  2374. A universe where all buildings have turnip shaped domes as a compromise between different cultures.
  2375. A universe where every single room in a house has a super-powered bouncing ball that’s supposed to clean the walls, but mostly it just gets in the way and distracts the children.
  2376. A universe where you and your closest friend always clap in conjunction, even when you’re not together.
  2377. A universe where book catalogues are depressive because they never succeed in trapping their readers in a world of wonder.
  2378. A universe where conservative politicians seek to keep immoral goods away from the population by provoking backlash campaigns involving sex toys.
  2379. A universe where peoples’ thoughts derive from the person they correspond to least in another universe.
  2380. A universe where children eat out of troughs to build immunity.
  2381. A universe where passive-aggressive smileys diffuse tension.
  2382. A universe where the true test of one’s devotion is to sing in a blizzard.
  2383. A universe where car-shaped tents are promoted as a solution to homelessness.
  2384. A universe where history repeats itself and the US will never stop re-electing Trump.
  2385. A universe where people don’t need to sleep and inflation is through the roof.
  2386. A universe where robots eradicated all life on Earth, and replaced it with numbers representing population and resources, to make civilization more efficient.
  2387. A universe where everyone has a vat of water full of apples next to their bed to keep them in the Halloween spirit, and water damage is covered by a phone’s warranty.
  2388. A universe where the pockets of new pants are always filled with rocks to encourage people to buy purses.
  2389. A universe where all freshwater lakes were eradicated long ago to pacify the sea god.
  2390. A universe which is learning to count by encouraging high birth rates.
  2391. A universe where the most powerful countries in the world have monochromic flags, and all the rest have monochromic flags with numbers on them.
  2392. A universe where alligators would much prefer it if we took them out of the wild so they wouldn’t have to keep killing creatures for food; it’s not a very pleasant livelihood.
  2393. A universe where scarecrows have been replaced with corn mazes.
  2394. A universe where people’s sense of consciousness radically changes when they travel to different parts of the world.
  2395. A universe where people stick their tongues out at all times to make conversations more meaningful, as speaking demonstrates that you respect the other person so much that you’d even put your tongue back in your mouth for them.
  2396. A universe where people wear giant filters on their head in case someone drowns them in dirty water, and also in case someone accuses them of lacking a filter.
  2397. A universe where people put suction cups on their shoes so they could walk on any surface, and it works, if they have glue.
  2398. A universe where girls used to get out of sewing lessons by pretending to sew using string beans instead of thread beans.
  2399. A universe where the most interesting thing ever uttered was ten times more profound than the sum total of all the philosophies of the Multiverse, and this interesting uttered thing was but a child’s first word (read from a book).
  2400. A universe where the “Berenstain Bears” are spelt the “Bare ’n Stain Bears” and are something other than a series of children’s books.
  2401. A universe where laptops have antennae to make people think that they can control wifi reception.
  2402. A universe where time takes care of everything and people spend their days on holiday.
  2403. A universe where two cords are attached from the Earth to the moon, and long-distance travel is conducted by slingshot.
  2404. A universe where access to the plumbing network is strongly restricted, in case someone tries to flood the world to see which of their bookshelves would float.
  2405. A universe where armies invade other countries by spilling paint on enemy ground.
  2406. A universe where people wear dirty mop heads as wigs, to give themselves an excuse to take many baths a day.
  2407. A universe where countries are completely covered with spaghetti junctions to provide more places to live.
  2408. A universe where people run around all the time looking for a bench to rest on, but there are no benches in this universe.
  2409. A universe where crazy-looking hats are worn by people who do not realize they are crazy.
  2410. A universe where a giant octopus lives in an underground ocean and trees are its tentacles poking up through the ground.
  2411. A universe where iconic persons strive to enter the second dimension.
  2412. A universe where aspects of The Matrix which are relevant to Multiverses are real but different somehow.
  2413. A universe where busybodies snatch gloves off the hands of the people they meet, to see what they’re hiding.
  2414. A universe where eating a substance will cause you to look very slightly like a humanoid version of that substance.
  2415. A universe where the Great Sphinx never had a nose, and archeologists have not overlooked this key clue.
  2416. A universe where people wear gradually larger and larger body suits to contain their secretions, as they all have very strict standards of propriety.
  2417. A universe where mean people growl and have sharp teeth.
  2418. A universe where ancient undersea ruins are future cities created by nature in anticipation.
  2419. A universe where the Classical pagans realized that sacrificing the worst parts of the animal doesn’t placate the gods, and various calamities were averted.
  2420. A universe where two positively charged ions sometimes attract to spread good vibes.
  2421. A universe where hive viruses cause infected people to start performing a show in unison.
  2422. A universe where people sleep in specialized moulds in order to look like they exercise.
  2423. A universe where advertisements all transmit educational material to discourage truancy.
  2424. A universe where the moon is Earth’s tallest mountain.
  2425. A universe where absurd people scoff at any suggestion that there’s something unusual about a grown man driving a car.
  2426. A universe where everyone has magic powers and it’s triggered multiple grey goo apocalypses.
  2427. A universe where people who live in trees are rarely happy friends.
  2428. A universe where little bits of plastic are rolled flat so nobody will trip over them.
  2429. A universe where parents teach their children how to walk by pretending that it’s really hard to fall.
  2430. A universe where the human genome project discovered a horrible secret.
  2431. A universe where window curtains are made to be very thick, in case you need an extra blanket and hate sleeping with the curtains drawn closed.
  2432. A universe where everything is made of candy, to discourage sloth.
  2433. A universe where talking lemurs try to convince their handlers to let them free.
  2434. A universe where supermarkets fly around on airships, and visit the homes of those willing to pay the highest prices.
  2435. A universe where ossuaries have become more common ever since movies with dark and gritty themes became popular.
  2436. A universe where curses work, but only in another universe.
  2437. A universe where Christmas falls on the true birthday of Christ, and Christianity is not in decline.
  2438. A universe where whale blubber has historically been used to correct blocked tear ducts.
  2439. A universe where references are jokes and make everyone laugh.
  2440. A universe where nobody ever attaches goofy little legs to pencils, to avoid thinking about the ramifications for the eraser.
  2441. A universe where windows are giant cameras used to burn images on CRT screens for decoration.
  2442. A universe where women really do exist only to serve the sexual needs of gynophilic men.
  2443. A universe where everyday objects contain explosive devices, to weed out the clumsy.
  2444. A universe where eyelids have giant wings and women fly by flirting.
  2445. A universe where everyone has a really deep voice and the world grinds to lower and lower levels of despair.
  2446. A universe where ice salt is scattered in such a pattern as to produce beautiful ice-friezes of battling centaurs.
  2447. A universe where someone has decoded a message in the solar eclipses and it’s not good news.
  2448. A universe where the Bermuda Triangle exists and has solved various problems.
  2449. A universe where Earth is perfectly round but has a crease on one side.
  2450. A universe where plateaus are used to write messages to astronauts, so everyone has to live on mountains.
  2451. A universe where ancient architecture has been well-preserved, because Christians just poked oculi in them and that was that, but unfortunately they would also poke oculi into pagans.
  2452. A universe where people have to wear guitar pricks in order to click their fingers, which lack nails in this universe, though the people are familiar with the concept of nails, having heard how wonderful they are to click.
  2453. A universe where wooden objects grow with exercise, and entrepreneurial geniuses spend their days rowing rowboats.
  2454. A universe where Eastern Canada resents the coastal Maritime provinces.
  2455. A universe where everyone is given their own little country at birth, and people have to hop around quickly as some of them demand visas.
  2456. A universe which is the choicest universe to travel to from ours, since it shows different outcomes of various important decisions, but is slightly less rational than ours and is therefore not a valid moral guide.
  2457. A universe where the car evolved out of ships which had been outfitted with wheels to adapt to silt.
  2458. A universe where the bluest cake ever baked was covered with green icing, and it was a major controversy.
  2459. A universe where everything but your house is a Potemkin village.
  2460. A universe where the baby Jesus was disappointed that Santa Claus wasn’t one of the Three Wise Men.
  2461. A universe where cities are built at microscopic sizes so people can admire the beauty of their urban planning.
  2462. A universe where bubbling brooks are used to make all-natural bubble tea paintings, to be hung at bubble-tea shops.
  2463. A universe where piano technology has advanced to the extent that pianos now have a string for each audible pitch.
  2464. A universe where imprisoned lollipops try to run away by cutting their stem and jumping into our mouths, of which they are mostly ignorant.
  2465. A universe where the invention of random blinking lights and steam-accordions has unleashed a revolution in machine decoration.
  2466. A universe where wind turbines aren’t controversial as they also function as Ferris wheels.
  2467. A universe where daffodils always cower because they think we want to steal their petals.
  2468. A universe where you’ve been raising your left hand for every day of your life, and people still sometimes glance at you, but mostly they’ve gotten used to it.
  2469. A universe where people don’t walk when they can dance.
  2470. A universe where sharks just want to have a doll to play with.
  2471. A universe where the ash clouds of the Hadean eon solidified, and the surface of the planet is composed of many layered shelves of earth and air.
  2472. A universe where there are no laws whatsoever, but there are plenty of rules enforced by the honor system.
  2473. A universe where children are given lab coats to wear while playing in the sandbox, to promote interest in STEM.
  2474. A universe where everyone is connected to someone else with implanted microphones, but nobody knows who they’re connected to.
  2475. A universe where asteroids are the scouring pads of a supermassive race trying to flush us out.
  2476. A universe where hope melts obstacles with laser beams.
  2477. A universe which coincidentally plays out the dreams people have in all other parallel universes, and soulmates across different universes share the same dream.
  2478. A universe where various genius codes hidden in works of art have led to the discovery of ancient wisdom which is taken for granted nowadays.
  2479. A universe where the most popular people are those with catchphrases.
  2480. A universe where it rains donuts, due to fortuitous precipitation patterns and the serendipitous placement of wheat farms, dairy cows, and sugar fields.
  2481. A universe where micro-sized hyperloops have erased the distinction between the city and the country, and everyone is squirming awkwardly now.
  2482. A universe where rainbow streets branch off into separate colored lanes when they reach the heavens.
  2483. A universe where Neanderthals overcame Homo sapiens sapiens and then kept them as personal calculator pets.
  2484. A universe where the air is always shimmering and it is very mysterious even to the people who live there.
  2485. A universe where print tries to compete with the internet by selling newspaper holders which resemble a PC monitor.
  2486. A universe where the music of the Classical period developed as it did because audiences had learned to hum the continuo to themselves.
  2487. A universe where everything revolves around a group of five people in some way.
  2488. A universe where art and science got married and had babies nobody in our universe can understand.
  2489. A universe where the gas planets are far better at harboring life than the rocky planets, as life is supposed to be heavenly.
  2490. A universe where infant baptisms involve surgically inserting a drop of baptismal water into the child’s flesh to make it impossible to convert to another faith.
  2491. A universe where shortcuts are always congested and highways are always empty because the route to the highway is blocked off.
  2492. A universe where crowd control has been drastically improved by removing the cracks from sidewalks.
  2493. A universe where the other planets of the solar system are slowly dissolving themselves to save the Earth from running out of resources.
  2494. A universe where corrosive fog is a vital part of the ecosystem.
  2495. A universe where religious icons are supplied with curtains, just in case.
  2496. A universe where alliterative animals are not captured for human exploitation.
  2497. A universe where metal toothpicks are not called pins, because they are much stronger than pins, as the people of this universe eat rocks.
  2498. A universe where mice slather themselves in rat poison to kill off cats.
  2499. A universe where cell phone technology developed out of walkie talkies to give men an excuse to carry purses.
  2500. A universe where people write and exchange stories about each other instead of doing stuff.
  2501. A universe where people wear Google glasses and use a drone flying above to provide them with vision.
  2502. A universe where blades of grass are sharpened as a substitute for feathery swords.
  2503. A universe where people bribe each other with special cuts of corn on a cob.
  2504. A universe where decorative wall tiles are secretly disassembled and frozen every night, to make sure they stay blue.
  2505. A universe where glass curtain walls are built everywhere to make people feel more futuristic.
  2506. A universe where semioticists go on as many adventures as archeologists.
  2507. A universe where undercover geographers paint game balls as globes, in the hopes that it will inspire passion for geography.
  2508. A universe where small numbers are rounded down to 1.
  2509. A universe where people are placed on waterwheels so the mills can continue to run in case of drought.
  2510. A universe where nobody understands what anyone else is saying, but their behaviors accord with each other’s wishes anyways.
  2511. A universe where apathy has the power to incinerate.
  2512. A universe where people eat the meat of animals which have died naturally, in order to augment their immune system.
  2513. A universe where a system of buckets and pulleys allows you to fetch water without needing to leave your house.
  2514. A universe where all letters are ugly blobs of ink but the meaning of phrases isn’t any different.
  2515. A universe where recycling is a failure because old tin cans are used to build house additions.
  2516. A universe where student drivers are used to paint lane divisions, and their skills are assessed by the beauty of the lines they paint.
  2517. A universe where homeowners have to water the ground beneath their house in case it dries up and a chasm cracks open.
  2518. A universe where horseshoe ruffles are a very stylish blue.
  2519. A universe where all matter in the universe is part of a single computer, which is used to simulate another universe.
  2520. A universe where boa constrictors trap their prey by pretending to be fashion accessories.
  2521. A universe where decadent civilizations maintain traditional religious practices.
  2522. A universe where hippopotami are huge, because generations of them have tried to walk deeper and deeper into the sea.
  2523. A universe where people write down their deepest inquiries and display them in cabinets.
  2524. A universe where people walk around barefoot in order to develop protective blisters which last forever.
  2525. A universe where humans have no sense of taste and no interest in finding ancient mammoths.
  2526. A universe where your last step was a slow step backwards, followed by a quick step forwards; from now on, our two universes will be exactly the same.
  2527. A universe where happy people wear painted smile mouthpieces, which also force down the ends of their mouths to give their lips a rest.
  2528. A universe where kites are attached to planes to attract a power source, and also to power the lighting-resistant hulls.
  2529. A universe where people used to burn down their house as fuel after hearing about the plight of coal miners.
  2530. A universe where the space elevator is used by bungee jumpers to make more carbon nanotubes.
  2531. A universe where people spend every moment of their lives holding hands with another person, though not the same person (that would be silly).
  2532. A universe where friezes are scented to make them four-dimensional.
  2533. A universe where sneakers are made of asphalt to stop their constant squeaking.
  2534. A universe where competitive nightly rockets never land if they see a shooting star.
  2535. A universe where there is nothing but a single consciousness who doesn’t realize that he’s all there is.
  2536. A universe where shredded newspapers are used as filling for stuffed dolls, to teach literacy.
  2537. A universe where people try to carry little drops of acid as protection.
  2538. A universe where all life forms in existence are sentient, but we have to eat anyways.
  2539. A universe where people eat strawberries and cream in ample watermelon shells, as that is the only way to eat things which taste like watermelon, since they have gone extinct.
  2540. A universe where dumbphones wear dunce caps.
  2541. A universe where dogs wonder where all the horses went; they miss saying hello.
  2542. A universe where political movements infiltrate IT departments and introduce computer glitches to get around gridlock (they’ve got a guaranteed basic income now!).
  2543. A universe where prudent people practice living like stone age people in preparation for the apocalypse.
  2544. A universe where those who wear the prettiest shoes have the most power.
  2545. A universe where the past is a function of the future rather than the present.
  2546. A universe where ashtrays double as coasters due to serendipitous legislation.
  2547. A universe where anti-feminist activists are mostly concerned with their polemics against teeth-gritting.
  2548. A universe where the education gap has been closed by inventing windows which have artificial frost on them year-round.
  2549. A universe where consumer goods are disassembled to be their own packaging and then reassembled.
  2550. A universe where the zeitgeist is set by those who watch porn in public.
  2551. A universe where refrigerators don’t exist, as manufacturers haven’t invented customizable freezer settings yet.
  2552. A universe where being uncomfortable in the presence of a romantic partner is the stable plateau of a romantic relationship.
  2553. A universe where people always walk around in horse costumes in case someone needs a quick getaway.
  2554. A universe where rose bushes are planted in impoverished neighborhoods to teach tough love.
  2555. A universe where people write on their palms, and the things they write correspond to what palm readers read in our own universe.
  2556. A universe where interdimensional travel is so easy that even people living in suburban tracts without access to major funds can achieve it.
  2557. A universe where leather jacket aficionados don’t have anything against squares as long as they don’t think they’re triangles.
  2558. A universe where people live in seaside caves and travel via tides.
  2559. A universe where travelogues are written by locals to avoid the stigma of being a tourist.
  2560. A universe where lobsters are not the only animals which become delicious when cooked alive.
  2561. A universe where the invention of the windbreaker made harbors obsolete due to a fatal misunderstanding.
  2562. A universe where Wikipedia funds itself through advertising and has bought out all the multimedia encyclopedias on CD-ROM.
  2563. A universe where jittery men are calm and it is surprising for people to hear that piece of trivia.
  2564. A universe where humans breed human bull creatures in case bullfighting gets outlawed.
  2565. A universe where a cabal of very polite aristocrats continue to wear powdered wigs in an attempt to educate the nouveaux riches.
  2566. A universe where people become cool by adding multiple Zs to their name.
  2567. A universe where the Earth would very much like to be flat and keeps on spinning around the Sun, because it thinks the solar system operates like a potter’s wheel.
  2568. A universe where little children drive around in motorized backpacks so as not to wear out the strap.
  2569. A universe where pedestrians jump on cars to make room for commuters.
  2570. A universe where women’s milliners try to remain relevant by attaching pen holders to the brim of big hats.
  2571. A universe where the hole in the ozone layer is a rip caused by skyscraper analogues.
  2572. A universe where the early volumes of a book series are re-released as a prequel.
  2573. A universe where people get tired of surprise un-birthday parties for some reason.
  2574. A universe where everyone says hello to the coat racks they encounter in life.
  2575. A universe where coyotes wish they were foxes.
  2576. A universe where people had to keep up with computer programs written on tape.
  2577. A universe where the ancient Babylonians and Mitanni built a rapport over how funny Elamite accents sounded like in Sumerian, which nobody today could possibly understand, though we can appreciate its role in establishing world peace in this other universe.
  2578. A universe where it’s okay to go to bed early, as long as you have a brain implant which will make sure you dream party songs.
  2579. A universe where tumuli urge us to remove the graves buried within them, so they could become real mountains; but they don’t realize that if they do so, they’ll lose their consciousness.
  2580. A universe where the Earth is enclosed within an inside-out air-Earth, and we keep on getting in each other’s way.
  2581. A universe where the Earth is a misshapen non-sphere, and no one is sure what counts as a cliff or a mountain.
  2582. A universe where computer mice are made to look like real mice to get cats away from the screen.
  2583. A universe where icicles are all collected together, as they are the only known substance which can injure the giant torso crushing Australia.
  2584. A universe where conversations are extremely slow because everybody speaks in platitudes and half the time is spent reflecting deeply upon each other’s utterances.
  2585. A universe where bed sheets are illegal so as not to offend the artists who design mattress patterns.
  2586. A universe where dramatic scarves are given as university graduation presents.
  2587. A universe where seaweed aliens invading Earth lost the war because they mistakenly pretended to be grass.
  2588. A universe where free-speech activists demand that clothing lines sell unfashionable clothing.
  2589. A universe where humans have very low heads since they walk around hunchbacked.
  2590. A universe where liposuctions compact fat rather than sucking it out, and it works somehow.
  2591. A universe where the elephant people of Earth were nice enough to let us take over.
  2592. A universe where living wind refuses to make jingle bells jingle because of the irreligious nature of wind.
  2593. A universe where apartment complexes pipe Guillaume de Machaut 24/7 to seem like a medieval court and get people interested in the activities on offer.
  2594. A universe where people keep in touch by linking their noses together with string.
  2595. A universe where colorful clothes are soaked in bright shades to supplement natural light.
  2596. A universe where much classical knowledge is lost to us because most philosophical work was conducted in the women’s quarters.
  2597. A universe where blue eyed, blond haired persons lose self-esteem when they hear that Jesus Christ didn’t look like them, which they had apparently thought.
  2598. A universe where the art of baking has been perfected, as the eggs of all kinds of birds are matched to the recipe which best suits them.
  2599. A universe where the global dictatorship will unite all peoples as one.
  2600. A universe where Michigan was flooded with salt water to reduce elitism in the US.
  2601. A universe where giant balls of pure iron fall from the sky, but no one notices because magicians turn them to water before they reach the Earth, which the people do notice, and keep scowling at.
  2602. A universe where the appendix is removed in order to experiment with cannibalism.
  2603. A universe where developing countries receive twigs as disaster relief following devastating rains and floods, to be used in replacement of the mud bricks which have dissolved, and people who already lived in twig houses are left to their own devices.
  2604. A universe where everything is a fantastic beast to those who believe.
  2605. A universe where computer music simulation has been so successful that everyone now has a personal soundtrack playing at all times.
  2606. A universe where wilderness survival training involves accustoming the body to eating lesser and lesser edible non-foods.
  2607. A universe where video game worlds exist and somehow function as fully-fledged societies, waiting for the chosen one who will never come.
  2608. A universe where garbage chutes are commercial composters in disguise.
  2609. A universe where circuses rent out circus tents to campers who don’t want to risk rain.
  2610. A universe where people develop a comfort level with each other by testing their reactions to increasingly offensive swear words.
  2611. A universe where people haggle by loudly proclaiming which numbers they think are very big before dealing with a merchant.
  2612. A universe where bronze cannons are melted down and restored to art once the war is done.
  2613. A universe where irregular wave patterns are carefully scooped up and preserved to refute the theory of gravity.
  2614. A universe where people close their eyes to give themselves some privacy.
  2615. A universe where trains have wings to increase their speed, but the railway industry has gone into decline because science has proved that trains actually fly, which is bad because nobody wants to fly (that’s why they use trains).
  2616. A universe where painted walls are sawed off and used to cover up exposed bricks by a conservative government ruling a society without the ability to produce fresh paint or plaster.
  2617. A universe where there is only a single solar system which is continuously reconstituting itself, because the Sun implodes every time the first monkey to evolve fails to produce even a single line from Shakespeare.
  2618. A universe where rows of text are branded into the Earth, in case people who get lost in the woods forget how to read.
  2619. A universe where jumping jellyfish cause water spouts and electrocution shows.
  2620. A universe where all movies begin with a scene of two women named Betty talking about the weather, to provide the local weather report.
  2621. A universe where the gluten intolerant just don’t want to be what they eat.
  2622. A universe where parrots are sentient tricksters, but are terrible at playing dumb, thankfully.
  2623. A universe where public children’s television consists of kaleidoscopic images coupled with the soothing sounds of a mother’s voice, to weaken family bonds.
  2624. A universe where kitschy pieces of art contain death gases to destroy other pieces of art.
  2625. A universe where people do not age, out of sheer willpower.
  2626. A universe where very eloquent accents are considered dialects and therefore dismissed.
  2627. A universe where much ancient knowledge was lost because artists would draw word-eating monsters in the margins of Medieval manuscripts.
  2628. A universe where mundane things are exactly the same as mundane things in our own universe, but in this universe, people smile to think about them.
  2629. A universe where pelicans do lots of crazy things but can’t tell us about them since they don’t talk.
  2630. A universe where glass is the only known building material because stonemasonry is a secret society.
  2631. A universe which defines morning as the period of the day following 7:00 AM sharp, to discourage people from singing earlier in the new day.
  2632. A universe where fifty is the new twenty because people take a really long time to get over their adolescence.
  2633. A universe where clouds of dust are often mistaken for wayward clouds and people have to decide between shooing them away or taking them home.
  2634. A universe where sneeze guards are used to collect secret ingredients, but not for that.
  2635. A universe where the pyramids were built to store stone and are made of fossilized grain.
  2636. A universe where wartime countries build complex non-machines to airdrop over enemy cities.
  2637. A universe where someone was around to live through the long timescale of the Earth and remark upon the short time humans have been here.
  2638. A universe where Tetris revolutionized storage devices, though we reverted to our previous systems after a year or two, after remembering about gravity.
  2639. A universe where aliens have come down to Earth to warn us not to tickle elephant tusks.
  2640. A universe where pinkies are repurposed as skeleton keys, which in this universe just refers to a key that looks skeletal; it’s a decorative object.
  2641. A universe where the contents of wicked boxes are never tumbled into the sea to spread their malicious goo upon our brethren.
  2642. A universe where childhood friends are able to come back to play in the park every day of their lives.
  2643. A universe where poetry derives from drawing little hats on letters.
  2644. A universe where child abuse is legal since all families are dysfunctional, as everybody knows.
  2645. A universe where star-gazing was invented by curious cavemen living in a very unstimulating environment, and is respected today as the first art.
  2646. A universe where the gun rights movement is a fourth column for the looming pacifist takeover.
  2647. A universe where fleas and lice are pitted against each other in the hopes that they will both be eradicated, but we do not realize that the surviving species will just get a monopoly on scalps.
  2648. A universe where English spelling was reformed by adding accents, and everyone was happy.
  2649. A universe where the economy rebounded because people started handling heavy machinery instead of playing with noisemakers at parties.
  2650. A universe where Venus flytraps don’t excrete venom and therefore succeed in hugging the insects they love.
  2651. A universe where uninhabitable planets are preferred due to the greater amount of living space they provide.
  2652. A universe where emergency stocks of food are compressed and worn as wigs.
  2653. A universe where tightropes span across skyscrapers to trap daredevils.
  2654. A universe where paper was never invented, and everyone would be illiterate if they saw how parchment was made.
  2655. A universe where armies just count each other’s numbers instead of fighting battles.
  2656. A universe where Pygmalion inspired many young girls to search for erudite men to take them in and improve their status, and they accepted them gladly, and many more Pygmalions came out of the arrangement, but some were rather awkward.
  2657. A universe where the US has multiple presidents so everyone can get along.
  2658. A universe where all cats are fat due to the low-quality rats they consume.
  2659. A universe where people mail each other garden gnomes to have vicarious vacations.
  2660. A universe where inspirational pictures flash in many colors to cover their bases.
  2661. A universe where big clock towers have been modernized by switching the clock face to a giant CD.
  2662. A universe where people dress up as tyrants and go stagger menacingly near remote ranches, to keep the inhabitants occupied.
  2663. A universe where movements to restore a previous system of government always succeed.
  2664. A universe where cold countries try to grow tropical plants as a barometer of climate change, and measure change by how delicious their oranges are, rather than the Hockey stick graph.
  2665. A universe where the ability to innovate unusual grammar is the test of a true writer.
  2666. A universe where running a lap is easy since the finish line runs with you, the hard part is knowing when to stop.
  2667. A universe where doors are so big that they scrape on the floor because people have equal amounts of money and paranoia.
  2668. A universe where mirrors do not exist and the backseat of cars are reversed for the robots to sit on.
  2669. A universe where decorative frills are repurposed as bracelets in wartime.
  2670. A universe where removing the protective tape from consumer goods voids the guarantee, as manufacturers retain the right to recall their products in case they’ve become collectors’ items.
  2671. A universe where synthetic substances are produced in nature without human interference.
  2672. A universe where cosmological systems are derived from observing the behaviors of balls attached to spinning hula hoops.
  2673. A universe where people live in RVs to mitigate the stress of the morning commute.
  2674. A universe where land, sea, and sky eventually meld into one, with humans riding the waves.
  2675. A universe where the invention of fingerprinting inspired people to start imprinting their fingers on their foreheads instead of going by a name.
  2676. A universe where all bones are called ‘femurs’ due to the collapse of civilization.
  2677. A universe where slanted buildings are put out to sea on giant rafts, but come back still slanted, so they are put out to sea again.
  2678. A universe where avuncular men are putting up a facade.
  2679. A universe where films are set a month before the premiere to take advantage of the historical film craze.
  2680. A universe where all children’s beds come with their own monster, completely pierced with pins to assuage the child’s fears, due to a bout of short-sightedness.
  2681. A universe where anthropomorphism is a nonsensical concept, as humans transplant their brains to animals and keep their old bodies as decoration.
  2682. A universe where all little boys who build castles with used toilet paper rolls are seized to prevent them from becoming evil men.
  2683. A universe where philistines try to frame musicians by changing percussion instruments for rattlesnakes.
  2684. A universe where role models are discarded once their role has been modeled.
  2685. A universe where Nelson Mandela died in prison in the 1980s, and most people alive today have never heard of Nelson Mandela.
  2686. A universe where everyone gets a weekend.
  2687. A universe where random percentages are real percentages of other fake percentages.
  2688. A universe where ebbs and flows are corrected with tsunamis.
  2689. A universe where mathematical research consists of pressing the ‘9’ button indefinitely, due to a lack of funding.
  2690. A universe where vampires exist and play keep-away with blood sacs until there are only two vampires left, who then start growing the vampire population again in case the two who won aren’t truly the most powerful vampires.
  2691. A universe where stray animals hold tea parties in an attempt to evade animal control.
  2692. A universe where classic novels are rewritten as listicular poems to attract the Millennial generation.
  2693. A universe where everyone turns to stone when the sun comes out, and trolls are our guardians.
  2694. A universe where charismatic writers leave copious empty spaces in their books, for readers to express their vandalistic urges.
  2695. A universe where people are only able to turn left, never right, and twirl themselves to decide where to go next, but cars are able to go right and are a godsend.
  2696. A universe where the giant skulls of ancient animals are sent down to poor villages to attract tourist money, as all priceless museum goods are.
  2697. A universe where plugging anything in anything results in powering something.
  2698. A universe where television was first introduced in movie theatres to promote community spirit, and home television sets are still banned.
  2699. A universe where native English dishes have generic names such as ‘sweet bread’ or ‘boiled pork’.
  2700. A universe where the people of little countries purposely speak with squeaky voices.
  2701. A universe where house prices are lowered by poking holes in interior walls to make them fences, but calk is extremely expensive unfortunately.
  2702. A universe where gibberish is given more respect by listeners if it is spoken very slowly.
  2703. A universe where mad mathematicians try to make the tips of cones logarithmic, so no one ever needs to buy needles anymore.
  2704. A universe where society will collapse if ever we learn the truth about Çatalhöyük.
  2705. A universe where people mass tightly in cold weather rather than wearing winter coats, as the sacrificial instinct has not disappeared.
  2706. A universe where Humourism has been revived to compete against traditional medicine.
  2707. A universe where schools teach their students how to procrastinate because they believe in reverse psychology.
  2708. A universe where the communes of the 1960s are the fastest growing cities today, and they are heavily urbanized, but lack suburbs.
  2709. A universe where the worst coal mining disasters in history were caused by canary evolution.
  2710. A universe where power switches can be rerouted to give the user a jolt of electricity and so restore life.
  2711. A universe where virtual reality helmets are very cheap, and shady coaches switch them for the opposite team’s normal helmets.
  2712. A universe where the things which fall off the bed during childhood are sealed away until your first return home in middle age.
  2713. A universe where beeps spark earthquakes so everyone has to speak very loudly to avoid causing the dull vibrations of beeps.
  2714. A universe where bedbugs were not eradicated because they are used as a substitute for cinnamon.
  2715. A universe where the Earth is hollow, but completely filled with magma which is hottest at the centre.
  2716. A universe where computer mice whine like real mice when they’re sad, to encourage us to use them and thereby pet them.
  2717. A universe where hair is shaved off so it could be drawn in with a pencil.
  2718. A universe where passing gasses waft through the sky for people to wave hello.
  2719. A universe where plants are known to have feelings, and hand-wringing is widespread.
  2720. A universe where homeowners draw doors everywhere to cover liabilities in case of sudden cave-ins.
  2721. A universe where exquisite ancient cameos were exhibited publicly to spread propaganda.
  2722. A universe where libertarians replace their chimneys with little pipes sticking out of the walls, to waste firefighting funds.
  2723. A universe where holographic 3D images can travel through solid walls.
  2724. A universe where the other planets of our solar system have been destroyed by being contaminated with the terrestrial matter brought there by space probes.
  2725. A universe where the best players of solitaire all have multiple heads.
  2726. A universe where the Earth was proved flat through analogy with a block of marble, due to a fatal typo.
  2727. A universe where nano-dust is used to spell out special messages for special people.
  2728. A universe where animals rotoscope themselves as humans in a misguided ploy to build up sympathy for themselves.
  2729. A universe where people wear snorkels and take naps in baths.
  2730. A universe where, whenever you lay down to look at the stars, the people on the planets immediately above you begin to wave hello.
  2731. A universe where people with striped arms are allowed to pet cows but not zebras, to eliminate an escape method wanted criminals may use.
  2732. A universe where the castrati are legal as long as consent is given by the prepubescent choirboys who will be so honored.
  2733. A universe where the death of a mosquito millions of years ago paved the way for fascism.
  2734. A universe where pigs are facing a massive cull in the 21st century, as their tails were used to mould telephone cords.
  2735. A universe where people shuffle like zombies while complaining about how annoying it is to shuffle like a zombie.
  2736. A universe where we must continuously punish our wallets, which keep trying to make more room by squishing our coins together.
  2737. A universe where batteries are extremely dangerous, as they could interrupt the personal power sources in our hearts.
  2738. A universe where the medical industry is sustained by treating apples with shoe polish.
  2739. A universe where everyone is programmed to behave in certain ways by evil bacteria programmed by humans.
  2740. A universe where everything is made up of shadows from our past lives.
  2741. A universe which is very sanitary and paved with tiny buckets.
  2742. A universe where time moves so quickly that people can drive around on exercise bikes.
  2743. A universe where the Möbius strip is illegal in case it tears a hole in the space-time continuum.
  2744. A universe where computers are as cheap as paper and printer jams are chronic.
  2745. A universe where courageous bedfellows don’t think they’re strange at all.
  2746. A universe where whistles have multiple finger-holes in case a Scout has musical talent.
  2747. A universe where the Earth continuously grows new layers, due to dust storms and flash-freezing clouds, so humans continuously cycle between being surface dwellers and mole people.
  2748. A universe where humans never lost their tails due to various fetishes.
  2749. A universe where cross-referencing eventually leads one to the master source.
  2750. A universe where people bring VR goggles on vacation to see what the view would be like if the famous tall towers they visit were in their home town.
  2751. A universe where heretics are simply banished and allowed to set up rival states.
  2752. A universe where galloping horses are trying to outrun the dust cloud in their wake.
  2753. A universe where glass bottles are opened by rapidly freezing and heating them, because metal is too precious to waste on bottle caps.
  2754. A universe where mirages are very dangerous as they are half-opened portals to another universe, and if you go in only your liquids will teleport.
  2755. A universe where CRT screen TV sets came with mallets which could be used to fix the reception, and also so they wouldn’t have to be designed with planned obsolescence.
  2756. A universe where an ancient prophecy predicts that someday someone will do something different from what they will have done in our own universe, and the people breathlessly await to see what that will be.
  2757. A universe where Christmas lights are used to replace regular light bulbs, but don’t make anything more festive.
  2758. A universe where ‘gentleperson’ replaced the word ‘person’ to encourage people to be nice each to each other.
  2759. A universe where the Earth is completely covered with a layer of soil which must be waded through to get anywhere, and everything but agriculture is terrible.
  2760. A universe which is the place people always wind up the first time they travel to another universe, and the people there trick them.
  2761. A universe where isolated jungle cities build jungle-themed buildings, such as tree houses or churches in hollowed out trees, rather than opera houses.
  2762. A universe where lice combs are made with teeny tiny insect legs in the hopes that they will pull off the nits.
  2763. A universe where flying elephants do not know how to land.
  2764. A universe where chewy granola bars are rock hard, so those who love them must grow to a great size in order for them to be digestible.
  2765. A universe where people carry around bottles of fire to keep warm because fireplaces are a fire hazard.
  2766. A universe where a sudden poof of smoke means that someone has just been killed, not that they’ve just disappeared.
  2767. A universe where peaches are decent.
  2768. A universe where the ballet industry collapsed when it was discovered that dancers wear specialized high heel shoes.
  2769. A universe where swivel chairs have extendable helicopter rotors which do not work, but are very pretty nevertheless.
  2770. A universe where covering pages with scotch tape is a legitimate way to laminate a paper.
  2771. A universe where nano tracking devices have been crossbred with trees to make it impossible to conduct a government resistance, aside from using computers instead of paper.
  2772. A universe where emanating pulses of light slowly transform us into pulses of light ourselves, and thereby we become one with the universe, as the universe has no deeper meaning than of light.
  2773. A universe where talking spiders never end their eternal rhyme.
  2774. A universe where the words ‘that’ and ‘which’ never occur in anywhere near the same contexts.
  2775. A universe where the Pompeians died in the eruption of 79 AD, as they entered a parallel universe by jumping into their mural paintings.
  2776. A universe where people who are good at mental math fear for their lives that someone will rip off their head to see if they’re a robot.
  2777. A universe where sugar is never sold in granulated form, as the sweetness is not thought to survive the grinding of sugar cubes, and consumers don’t know where sugar comes from.
  2778. A universe where fandoms never subside.
  2779. A universe where LCD screens depict movies from other universes when you watch them from the wrong viewing angle.
  2780. A universe where inserting definite articles before inappropriate nouns lacks any humor whatsoever.
  2781. A universe where all the things want all the fish, and so on.
  2782. A universe where competitive computers try to see who can speak the most gibberish.
  2783. A universe where people always clap and jump to be surprising.
  2784. A universe where someone used a machine to make every particle on Earth blow up to colossal size and then drift apart, in order to see what it would look like, but she forgot to get off the planet.
  2785. A universe where laptops have only become ubiquitous due to the invention of the portable mousepad.
  2786. A universe where backpacks routinely have holes cut into them so they can be worn as pants/fanny pack combos.
  2787. A universe where walking scissors fail to ever cut paper, as they are uniformly child-proof.
  2788. A universe where horse-drawn carriages are still prevalent, because automobile engines are installed inside mechanical horses with wheels.
  2789. A universe where punk archeologists airdrop modern-day artifacts in barren regions to prank future archeologists.
  2790. A universe where elephants wear firemen’s helmets on their trunks in an attempt to lure firemen to their lair.
  2791. A universe where tinfoil is woven with nano sensors to discourage conspiracy theorists from wrapping their hair with unhygienic aluminum.
  2792. A universe where dust particles gain life and unmake the bed and unfold your clothes unless you sweep the floor often.
  2793. A universe where USB cords are used to connect two jacks of the same computer, in order to soothe the nostalgic urge for physical media.
  2794. A universe where papier-mâché donkeys do not naturally produce candy and are not an endangered species.
  2795. A universe where pianos play ragtime when nobody’s around.
  2796. A universe where anti-dieting activists replace measuring cups with very tall glasses, and seek to weed depth perception out of humanity; their efforts in replacing measuring cups will remain fruitless until they succeed.
  2797. A universe where slinkies are used as a method of intra-office telecommunication rather than magic airplanes.
  2798. A universe where people pretend to be in different universes in order to imagine themselves achieving impossible things.
  2799. A universe where pontoon bridges sail away to become pontoon islands.
  2800. A universe where rain sometimes boils but doesn’t turn into steam, it just keeps boiling and sticks to our bodies and feels icky besides being excruciating.
  2801. A universe where hallucinations which do not result in epiphanies are thought to be failures, and one must try again.
  2802. A universe where sound moves at a faster speed as it’s not encumbered by bad vibrations.
  2803. A universe where puffed sleeves furthered women’s rights by allowing them to carry things around more conveniently.
  2804. A universe where years compete to be the worst year ever.
  2805. A universe where cars have jetpacks for wheels, but personal jetpacks have yet to be invented.
  2806. A universe where private highways exist as a get-rich-quick scheme which target people just as they are about to drive onto a public highway.
  2807. A universe where the skeuomorphic GUIs of mobile devices imitate the look of Windows 95.
  2808. A universe where all weapons of war were destroyed and turned into a giant statue, but they forgot to take out the bullets, but did take out the gunpowder, so it’s fine.
  2809. A universe where nobody has normal relationships anymore, since the pocket talking machine is such a wisecracker, and luddite activists mostly target the programmers who taught a computer to laugh.
  2810. A universe where the world is actually a plaster model and humans have spent all of their existence poking confusedly at the things which are supposed to be trees.
  2811. A universe where death masks are sent to the sky in balloons in case God doesn’t know what the deceased are supposed to look like.
  2812. A universe where antelopes added an A to their name to get back at those mean aardvarks.
  2813. A universe where lovers run randomly throughout the world to make their occasional encounters more meaningful, and sedentary society isn’t sure how to cope with love.
  2814. A universe where city sprawl is not a problem as long as the exurbs feature at least one skyscraper.
  2815. A universe where everyone needs to have a megaphone surgically implanted in their mouths, as our natural vocalizations are only audible to our mothers.
  2816. A universe where one must never hum a catchy song, for fear that spectral musicians shall snatch us away to their unfathomable realm where we shall bob our heads for all eternity.
  2817. A universe where people always bow to demonstrate their submission to each other, and the few who do not bow are cast away for fear that they shall require further submissive actions from everyone else.
  2818. A universe where people hang their trousers behind their legs and their pants in front, to trick the British into showing their britches; however, as there are rarely any British subjects in one’s immediate vicinity, most people just end up freezing their legs, especially the British in Britain.
  2819. A universe where the Celts were descended from the Atlanteans, rather than the Trojans.
  2820. A universe where large bodied creatures always walk around on the shoulders of tiny rats to lessen their environmental footprint.
  2821. A universe where people live in sand caves to achieve their dreams of one day living in a castle.
  2822. A universe where admitting taboos is taboo.
  2823. A universe where good neighbors sow each other’s vegetable gardens with salt to help increase their iodine levels.
  2824. A universe where every day is a religious holiday, so atheists must be tolerated in order for society to function.
  2825. A universe where Earth is the ancient sanctuary of an exoplanet which humanely sent off all those who couldn’t breathe methane.
  2826. A universe where people think up names for their children by ranking their three favorite syllables.
  2827. A universe where all beds are smothered with piles of blankets so people can wake up in a nest and be content.
  2828. A universe where exclamation marks are not as immediately understood as the letters of the alphabet, so people always have to remind themselves to feel excited whenever they see them.
  2829. A universe where internet infrastructure is made of indissoluble stone.
  2830. A universe where people never forget any of the people they’ve ever met in their lives, as people switch bodies whenever they speak with each other; you were once a lady named Sara-Loo.
  2831. A universe where the Pixar universe is real, but every franchise is its own discrete planet.
  2832. A universe where Christmas is a moveable feast, so some years have no Christmases and others have two, which severely disrupts quarterly reports, though it doesn’t actually have much of an effect on spending.
  2833. A universe where all chairs are rocking chairs which rock around the clock.
  2834. A universe where timepieces get giddy when they get attention from seatware.
  2835. A universe where people never get offended by each other’s statements because they always know the context.
  2836. A universe where the jolly hop is nothing like the jitterbuggy jig, but is similar to something the people of this universe refer to as a ‘dab.’
  2837. A universe where all food is a mush, though it never looks like that before it’s put in the oven.
  2838. A universe where cars roam the Earth searching for their one and only driver.
  2839. A universe where brooch clasps double as a backup brooch if all you want to wear is the pin.
  2840. A universe where people always wear wooden boards to preempt anyone who might want to dress them in a sandwich, which is this universe’s most terrible phobia.
  2841. A universe where the Earth is very scientific, and is trying to discover how magic works, so it could travel to a universe where they don’t have to be so scientific.
  2842. A universe where every morning, the wind blows dolls together to create the impression of some social occasion, and humans therefore think that dolls are sentient and provide them with plastic nourishments.
  2843. A universe where mystery-solving persons roll their eyes and walk away whenever clients ask them to solve the mystery of the repeating background and start laughing.
  2844. A universe where stapler dogs are often mistaken for hole-punching dogs, which is a good thing, because dogs really shouldn’t have their teeth forcibly removed.
  2845. A universe where everyone who eats a lot succeeds in becoming big and strong.
  2846. A universe where people inject the nutrients whenever they eat white bread.
  2847. A universe where the laws of superfluity are reducing all of creation to a single quark, unless they actually make everything important; we really can’t know for sure, as our universe has no conception of a law of superfluity.
  2848. A universe which is very scientific and has discovered how magic works, by using a speech synthesizer to discover all the magic words.
  2849. A universe where everyone dreams of becoming extremely wealthy, so they could live in a house with porthole windows and pay someone to stand outside and row while saying “aye, capt’n,” because that’ll mean you’re the captain.
  2850. A universe where waterbeds are as fun as they sound, because you can jump on them to hear them squish.
  2851. A universe where people wear fish as shoes to maintain a gentle nibbling sensation on their ankles.
  2852. A universe where eyeglasses are obsolete because everyone just looks at the world from their smartphone camera, though doing that still looks funny.
  2853. A universe where the letter K lobbies the federal government instead of sponsoring television shows.
  2854. A universe where the greatest patriots beam all of a country’s television stations into their mind at once so they may know nothing but their countrymen.
  2855. A universe where automation has taken over virtually all work, but it’s okay, apparently, because everyone in this universe is the kind of person who invents new kinds of stuff to automate.
  2856. A universe where goddesses offer their own hand in marriage to mortals who call them the most beautiful of all, rather than the hand of some other woman referred to as most beautiful.
  2857. A universe where portable music players have stethoscope jacks, so doctors don’t have to pay extra for headphones.
  2858. A universe where dancing corpses are mistakenly called the dancing dead by those who do not realize that their souls are no longer present.
  2859. A universe where casinos sometimes feel pity and offer to give it all back if they lose a game the customer sets.
  2860. A universe where people justify the irregularly-shaped objects they use by saying they’re able to grate cheese.
  2861. A universe which is very scientific and has just used a portal to travel to a magic universe, which has discovered every possible technology with magic.
  2862. A universe where atheists help themselves too.
  2863. A universe where smartcards have failed as a technology because people don’t want to completely eliminate magnetic strips from their lives.
  2864. A universe where all objects must have a mirror underneath so people can make sure it doesn’t go on forever, as that would be inconvenient if ever you slipped and fell.
  2865. A universe where polishing your own head does not give the right to do whatever you want.
  2866. A universe where empty tee shirts are put above fans to make them feel better when nobody’s wearing it.
  2867. A universe where glue guns cannot be easily modified to contain molten lead.
  2868. A universe where The Ugly Duckling is about a platypus, not a swan.
  2869. A universe where people put googly eyes on pipe cleaners to make them realize how attractive twigs covered with caterpillars are.
  2870. A universe where the world designates who is going to be saved in case of apocalypse in advance, and everyone knows who it’ll be.
  2871. A universe where human cloning is legal because clones are technically considered robots, since they were created like machines, and they are compelled to walk around in robot suits.
  2872. A universe where every sentient planet in the universe exchanges ambassadors, and it has sparked multiple Malthusian crises.
  2873. A universe where made-up machines materialize as you make them up, as Earth is a super-advanced zoo in this universe.
  2874. A universe where people walk everywhere with their fingers and it really slows them down.
  2875. A universe where air has reflective qualities, so paper-towel telescopes don’t have that blurry zoom effect.
  2876. A universe where mature teens purposefully mispronounce words in the hopes that they’ll end up saying something even more adult.
  2877. A dystopian universe driven by utopian ideals, as they’re still allowed to read.
  2878. A universe where the world is like an unending game of Where’s Waldo, because people really don’t like to work.
  2879. A universe where concrete is made up of layered works of art, to ensure that disintegrating blocks remain beautiful.
  2880. A universe where ideograms are totally random, to further bolster the ego of those who have learned them, though they are too impractical for a society to use as a writing system.
  2881. A universe where the forgotten fingers of the hand are cherished and powered with exoskeletons which make them as powerful as the rest.
  2882. A universe where the Earth’s crust has been replaced with a viewing window, for us to make what we will of what we see.
  2883. A universe where people who want to be time travelers run around to look like they’re changing the past, so that the organizations which dole out time machines will think that they have to send them back in order to maintain the timeline.
  2884. A universe where people eat so many eggs in a day that their stomachs can digest the shell, but human skin cracks very easily now.
  2885. A universe where Pangaea never spilt apart, but the urge to have a colossal earthquake keeps growing.
  2886. A universe where red dirt is corrected by washing it in the sky.
  2887. A universe where stucco walls are not what they seem.
  2888. A universe where the cloud monsters succeed in eating us with their sharp cloudy teeth.
  2889. A utopian universe driven by dystopian ideals, as they don’t realize they’re in a utopia.
  2890. A universe where vaporizing force fields prevent people from falling from great heights.
  2891. A universe where ducks quack in song for their food.
  2892. A universe where delicious apples taste like dirt, but also sugar, if it’s been added.
  2893. A universe where the world is lit by holographic candles.
  2894. A universe where pushbutton technology really did remove all difficulties from life.
  2895. A universe where moonboots really could have been used on the moon.
  2896. A universe where sloganeers have succeeding in creating a slogan for every human idea, to invalidate the criticisms lobbed against themselves.
  2897. A universe where everyone is part of a single organism, but nobody realizes it, they just know that they absolutely must not cut the umbilical cord stretching down into the Earth.
  2898. A universe where towers of mice do not deter mice; they attract more, in fact.
  2899. A universe where everyone is a genius and nobody minds being a janitor, because they realize that someone has to clean up; but this society still makes use of a gigantic chore jar, just to be safe.
  2900. A universe where the oceans are full of even more garbage, to ensure that shipwrecked sailors always have something to hold on to.
  2901. A universe where true sequins are covered with rhinestones.
  2902. A universe where cookies are referred to as ‘discs’ the second time they come up in a phrase or discussion.
  2903. A universe where some other continent became the dominant region of the world, and used its power to send everyone else a gift of suckling pig.
  2904. A universe where people have to burp in order to encase themselves in protective fluids.
  2905. A universe where people who do whatever they want refuse to get off the rollercoaster.
  2906. A universe where people film every surface of their bodies at all times, in case a pockmark floods and the bacteria learn to swim.
  2907. A universe where people brush their teeth with crushed oyster shells because everything is made of oysters in this universe, and the meat just makes teeth dirtier.
  2908. A universe where the oldest living person always lives one day less than the previous record holder, which will cause significant difficulties once the oldest person is only a hundred.
  2909. A universe where scientists avidly search for the trunks of tall mountains assumed to be stumps.
  2910. A universe where there’s an even more habitable planet inside the Sun, but to get there, you have to fly really fast.
  2911. A universe where time is money and renting and buying is insanely convoluted, but this society nevertheless found a way to make both payment methods work.
  2912. A universe where nonstop sprinkler systems have eliminated house fires, and people never stop reminding each other how much they love wearing raincoats.
  2913. A universe where all coins and banknotes depict regal animals, and nobody is sure why, as animal life has been totally eradicated in this universe.
  2914. A universe where bars became obsolete when domestic alcohol was introduced.
  2915. A universe where nicks are fixed with whittling.
  2916. A universe where home video wrecked the movie industry, because consumers lacked discipline and put off finishing the tape so much that eventually they didn’t even care anymore.
  2917. A universe where tobacco companies abandoned the industry when they discovered how much profit can be made from selling novelty faucets shaped like smoking pipes.
  2918. A universe where nuclear subs do not exist, as all submarines are powered by electric eels.
  2919. A universe where terrible conquerors oppress their subject nations by requiring them to supply tulips as annual tribute and thereby drain their resources.
  2920. A universe where everyone is so dissimilar they say ‘ribbit’ at different times.
  2921. A universe where the land of chocolate is an amusement park visitors are forbidden from eating, except in the designated areas where chocolate just protects the support system.
  2922. A universe where professionals live in professional homes; buy professional cereals; parent professional babies; and marry professional spouses (who know how to give a firm handshake).
  2923. A universe where nobody born in the ’20s can ever stop dancing the Charleston, but those born in the ’60s have no trouble fighting the urge to Twist.
  2924. A universe where people born in the ’80s may or may not be dancing whatever dance was popular in the ’80s.
  2925. A universe where mechanical computer mice never became obsolete, because they could be used on trackpads without being plugged in.
  2926. A universe where you’re supposed to bring a furnace to a housewarming party, but the hosts are always relieved you forgot, as they have one already.
  2927. A universe where scientists compete with each other to make the most intricate artworks; the current record-holder, dubbed the best painting ever, features details at the quantum level which will blow your mind.
  2928. A universe where ratty old things are given to rats as presents, and if they refuse the gift, it gets reclassified as sub-ratty.
  2929. A universe where nobody was allowed to eat sandwiches anymore once the earl had patented his invention.
  2930. A universe where all long walks are colloquially called ‘marches,’ and armies vociferously protest this usage by broadcasting long videos describing the steps of a true march and its devastating psychological impact.
  2931. A universe where children are taught how to read blackletter writing, to ensure that they’ll be able to understand The Canterbury Tales in high school.
  2932. A universe where retired ships are erected vertically as skyscrapers.
  2933. A universe rings of fire don’t add much protection, but at least they scare the fireflies.
  2934. A universe where recent controversies over Russian meddling in US politics have sparked a spate of anti-Russian hate crimes.
  2935. A universe where light dimmers release clouds of black smoke which have a nice tingling sensation.
  2936. A universe where luxurious houses are lined with puppet holes so people walking by can stick their head in and see what it’s like to live there.
  2937. A universe where all objects are used until they disintegrate to nothing.
  2938. A universe where spell check programs keep ahead of future developments by anticipating all possible portmanteaus.
  2939. A universe where people always juggle copious amounts of food, to make sure they’ll have something to eat if they tumble down and get stuck in a well for a week, as long as the food they juggled falls into their mouth from the ledge on a regular basis.
  2940. A universe where grass stains are the latest fashion trend.
  2941. A universe where people are always surprised by the unexpected, as they walk around with boxes on their head to keep the outside world as stimulating as possible.
  2942. A universe where all buildings are prefab and rearranged to suit changing architectural tastes.
  2943. A universe where the dazzling lights which float around our heads have been snuffed out to make it easier to squash mosquitoes.
  2944. A universe where people dingle hammers until something happens which is the consequence of dingling (the hammers transform into small wooden valleys).
  2945. A universe where people wear empty teabags on their fingers in case their fingertips suddenly start to swell.
  2946. A universe where braided hair protects the hair from the horrors of flying around.
  2947. A universe where women upset about the prohibitions of Mount Athos have established a counterpart on Nantucket, to worldwide gasps and much shattered glass.
  2948. A universe where people of different body sizes are bred together to keep the average height in balance.
  2949. A universe where the universal pet is a one-legged rock who wiggles around without wagging a finger at you.
  2950. A universe where everyone buys fresh wool for their mothers to spin into cloth, their sisters to sew into clothes, and their daughters to hem the right size; everyone’s wife then dresses everyone up and kisses them off to work.
  2951. A universe where big mouths don’t talk any more than small mouths, they just produce a lot more echoes.
  2952. A universe where elites ensure that the honey they consume always comes from the shiniest, most dominant bees.
  2953. A universe where nobody can hear because external noises produce a loud sucking sound as they enter the ear.
  2954. A universe where house squatters build tree houses to avoid messing with the property owner’s stuff.
  2955. A universe where every function in a bathroom gets its own stall.
  2956. A universe where the saber tooth tiger never went extinct because it found a way to avoid biting its own lip.
  2957. A universe where scientists use VHS tapes to explain complex metaphysical problems, and the next generation of quantum physicists have been inspired to search for the universal tape head.
  2958. A universe where colorful hopping monkeys really shouldn’t do that, if they don’t want to turn greyscale.
  2959. A universe where the final entry is always hidden in the body of the journal as foreshadowing, to make the discovery of long-lost logbooks even more exciting.
  2960. A universe where the intergalactic civilization has not maintained Earth as a zoo; rather, we’re left uncontacted due to the inferiority complex of these star-trekking space beings who don’t like their physical appearance.
  2961. A universe where ghost cars are holograms beamed down by surreptitious helicopters who are tired of people always gawking at their serene beauty.
  2962. A universe where toads spread warts to make the world look less ugly to them.
  2963. A universe where there’s nothing worse than ruining a perfectly good cucumber.
  2964. A universe where all corporations have a whistle blowing room, for those who need to let off some steam with the fantastic kettles all employees are provided with.
  2965. A universe where nuzzling nozzles aren’t much fun to kiss.
  2966. A universe where islands float around looking for a mainland which will have them.
  2967. A universe where everyone thinks their secrets are safe since they write things in invisible ink, but they’ve forgotten that potatoes can read.
  2968. A universe where fur is actually made of bits of string animals find and stick to their bare skin.
  2969. A universe where Mercury is even more barren than it is in our own universe.
  2970. A universe where people take just a minute every day to do all sorts of useful stuff.
  2971. A universe where modern fantasy castles are plentiful, and built higher and higher in a frenzy to fill the world with magic.
  2972. A universe where slimy humans are regularly mistaken for humanoid alligators and given wads of cash by their terrified neighbors; once the slime has been washed off, however, they have to give the money back.
  2973. A universe where embassies vie to receive their host country’s affections.
  2974. A universe where everyone behaves differently from other people, according to unique motivations and with unique consequences, and it’s very difficult for the visitors from other universes to understand, not to mention the animals.
  2975. A universe where things are sentient at one’s convenience.
  2976. A universe where everyone thinks they’re in heaven, but they’re actually in a hell of lively place.
  2977. A universe where the people of Mercury are currently engaged in writing a strongly worded letter.
  2978. A universe where some woman is always flustered because her hat keeps changing.
  2979. A universe which harbors the left foot of a multidimensional giant.
  2980. A universe where people with gigantic jowls use them to walk around and try to steal our skin-restoration cream so they can just roll places instead.
  2981. A universe where nobody ever stops talking about how silly peanut butter must be to think of itself as butter; this is everyone’s favorite satirical topic.
  2982. A universe where the pilot episode of all new television shows begin with the main character jumping over a shark, to get that question out of the way.
  2983. A universe where dogs bark because cats meow because birds sing because dogs talk because cows say oink, on the condition that buzzards exist.
  2984. A universe where people glue various ideas together with question marks disguised as words rather than punctuation.
  2985. A universe where people have open minds and never see the irony of ridiculous situations.
  2986. A universe where there is a man standing in a room doing nothing and he expects you to laugh at him.
  2987. A universe where dogs do various cute things for their own benefit.
  2988. A universe where this exact same list has been written verbatim, but this universe has a different set of suggestive language.
  2989. A universe where something else is different about Alien societies.
  2990. A universe where various disparate things narrow further and further down to result in a very specific thing.
  2991. A universe where a culture which does not derive from Europe is different in ways which the people from that culture could appreciate.
  2992. A universe where something was said about sushi that one time.
  2993. A universe where the devil does not exist.
  2994. A universe where word generators pass the Turing test if they can properly replicate human word vomit.
  2995. A universe where orange clocks work when the sun also rises.
  2996. A universe where ignorance of bible quotes leaves one open to ridicule.
  2997. A universe where lampshades are transparent so people can practice not looking at the sun.
  2998. A universe where blindness is caused by the underuse of one’s eyes, as people respect privacy so much that they don’t even need walls.
  2999. A universe where people know when to stop but keep on crashing into brick walls anyway.
  3000. A universe where people know when to stop so they stop.
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